Irate!

[babiesRmylife]

So somebody in my unit told a few important people that I supposedly brought my family up to my unit to see a patient that may POSSIBLY be going to foster care. Needless to say, I'm not allowed to go anywhere near this child's room & nobody had told me about this issue until I asked why I couldn't just go say hi like I had done any other day.

Why wouldn't my manager come ask me about the situation instead of believing all the hear say?? Anyways, it NEVER happened & now I'm IRATE, & hurt, among many other things. I don't feel like I can trust anybody at this organization & that my manger is not one I feel comfortable working under. As a manger I feel that when something like this happens you should confront the person & ask them about it. I had no idea these rumors were going on, or whatever you would like to call it. I honestly LOVE my job, but I no longer feel comfortable working here if this is the type of environment I work in.

More IMPORTANTLY I'm worried that all this could result in me losing my license because you know since they did believe all this hear say that his a HIPPA violation!! Do you think that could happen?

[justme1972]

This is a classic case of a rumor mill gone too far.

You need to go straight to the Director of Nursing or the highest level of management at your hospital that is over nurses.

Someone needs to put a stop to these rumors. People can and do lose their jobs of rumors.

Who was over the NICU that day that was claimed that you brought your family? Can he/she not back you up that you never brought anyone?

You need to take steps now to be proactive. I would make it very, very clear that you are not planning on getting your reputation ruined by these rumors.

I would guarantee it's one or two people that are doing the damage...it always is.

PS: Whoever claimed to have witnessed a so-called HIPAA violation is not going to be able to remain anonymous...b/c someone will have to certify that they witnessed you bring the family.

[babiesRmylife]

I'm a new nurse here too. I can't believe this is happening. Only been here a year!

I went straight to my charge nurse tonight to find out 1st of all what the issue was because the child's nurse was VERY rude & she (the charge nurse) explained what the issue was. I explained my side of the story & she didn't know who had reported the issue. I told her the ONLY time my family had ever come to this unit they were standing at the front desk which isn't an issue. I asked her what she thought I should do. Anyways, the unit they thought it happened in has cameras so if that is the case this could all be put to an end quite quickly if they go back & just look at them. But our charge nurse tonight said she would talk to our supervisor in the morning & I emailed our supervisor telling her that if she had questions to please come see me.

This has definately gotten out of hand. And now I'm so worried about losing my license. I love my job, but honestly I can find another. I don't feel comfortable here if somebody has to seriously take something so VERY SERIOUS so far. It's just not worth putting my license on the line. I've worked to darn hard to get this far to have a rumor ruin it for me.

[rn/writer, RN]

I understand that you are concerned and upset about false accusations. No one likes to have such things come their way.

The thing is that you can actually make matters worse by over-reacting. No, I'm not suggesting that you shouldn't have strong feelings. I am saying that it might be more effective to take the situation in stride and calmly state that you don't understand what the fuss is about because what is being reported never happened.

The fact that you are new to the unit may give you a greater sense of insecurity, a fragility that someone is (intentionally or unintentionally) exploiting. Don't give them that kind of power. Refuse to take things personally--even if they are meant that way. Becoming irate and offended cooperates with the person(s) trying to cause you grief.

Don't waste your time and energy by giving in to feeling hurt. If the problem was a genuine misunderstanding, your feeling wounded is unnecessary. If there was any intent involved, feeling hurt won't matter to the perpetrator.

I am not insensitive to the shock of being the subject of false information. But you make yourself far more vulnerable by internalizing this kind of event and letting it shake you so much. Don't give other people permission to rattle you so much and make you feel off balance. Of course, that will probably be your initial reaction, but take the initiative to sort yourself out and regain your equilibrium.

How do you do this? By telling yourself the truth:

Someone is saying things about me that aren't true.

I don't like it, but I have nothing to hide.

It's pointless for me to have a meltdown--in fact, that could make me look guilty or unstable or both.

It's a shame that you can't trust some folks, but that's a harsh reality of life--in the nursing world and elsewhere.

I'll be careful whom I choose to trust.

This may take some time to sort out. In the meantime, I'll keep my head down, do my job, and try to find a balance between being cautious and being confident.

The biggest message in all this it that you can learn to protect yourself by keeping your eyes open, your expectations realistic, and your emotions out of the reach of those who have not specifically earned your trust. It's a sad but necessary part of growing up to realize that you are the guardian of your own spirit. It's wonderful when you find friends and kindred spirits who genuinely care about your well-being, but this ought to be a highly selective process.

Some work environments don't lend themselves to safety and trust. Should you leave? Depends on how toxic the place is and how strong you are. This could be a good place for you to learn effective coping skills and build up your inner strength and security. Only you know what you can handle.

None of this is meant as criticism. It's more an encouragement to develop good boundaries and a strong inner sense of who you are and what you believe, so that external challenges don't crush you or tear you down. The more firmly rooted you are (and this takes time), the calmer you can be and the wiser you will appear to others.

The sense of loss that comes with acknowledging that people do hurtful things can be compensated by the joy of finding the peace of your own resolve.

I'm sorry you have experienced this but hopeful that it will make you stronger.

I wish you the best.

[babiesRmylife]

Talked to my manager this AM & got everything sorted out. I was making it out to be a bigger deal then what it was (guess thats the women in me :) ), but at the same time I don't know why somebody would just make up a story about me for no reason. It just hurts knowing that somebody would do that. I just feel attacked for no reason!

Anyways, after my talk with my manger she asked me if I liked my job. I told her I did, but that I hate all this hear say stuff. She said that I'm a really hard worker & she really appreciates everything that I do. Wow! Amazing!! Makes you feel more grounded. *sigh*

Hopefully things will simmer down now.

[XB9S, BSN, MSN, EdD, RN, APN]

Thats really nice, it's good to be told that your appreciated.

Hope things settle down for you