Incredibly Discouraged

Posted

I have been a nurse for the last four years and it didn’t start out rosy. My first day on the job in a level 1 ICU fresh out of nursing school I found out I was pregnant. For months I didn’t tell my managers or coworkers I was pregnant for fear I’d be fired so I was stressed constantly which I’m sure didn’t help matters. Long story sort I was fired right before I was suppose to finish my orientation and redirected to a different unit after I came back from maternity leave. I’ve been on that unit ever since and while I’ve worked my *** off (am now working as charge, obtained my PCCN, got into NP school, am orienting others, etc) I’ve never stopped feeling like a failure. 
that feeling has been amplified the last few months as my goal is to work in the OR while I’m in NP school so that I can become a surgical NP. I’ve applied to the OR at my hospital twice, interviewed twice and got rejected...twice. Interviewed at another local hospital at the OR, also interviewed, and also passed over. I feel like an utter failure and almost emotionally back in the place I was when the ICU let me go. At this point I’m not sure I’ll ever reach my dreams :(

JBMmom, MSN, NP

Specializes in Long term care; med-surg; critical care. Has 10 years experience. 4 Articles; 1,904 Posts

Clearly you are not an utter failure as you have found success in areas of your career. You would not have been given a charge role or responsibility for orienting others if you were incompetent, you successfully passed the PCCN and you got into NP school. These are all good accomplishments and you should be proud of them.

I'm sure the disappointment of not getting a couple jobs after interviews is tough. Is it possible for you to get any feedback about the interview process? I think it's entirely possible that because you don't have OR experience, the hospitals are looking for people that can hit the ground running, so if they have candidates with specific skills already, that's an easier fit for them. I know that the OR is a very different skill set than floor nursing. My hospital doesn't transition a lot of floor nurses into the OR. Sometimes a same day surgery position is a way to get a foot in the door with the OR. 

Sounds like you very easily take things to heart, which can be causing you extra stress. Finding out you're pregnant, while the timing may not have been ideal, wasn't something that you did on purpose to inconvenience a boss or coworkers. It's entirely possible that the added stress of that situation along with being a new nurse in a high stress environment set you up for difficulty in your ICU role. Transitioning as a new nurse into ICU is hard enough, it's not necessarily a failure that you were moved to another unit, if they didn't like you at all they would have let you go outright. Instead they chose to retain you as a nurse and transition to where your skills would be better matched at that time.

Try to cut yourself a break, things take times sometimes, but you will find success. Good luck.

Davey Do

Specializes in around 25 years psych, 15years medical. Has 43 years experience. 1 Article; 9,457 Posts

When we experience major stressors like completing nursing school, working in a high area of acuity, having a baby, being terminated, attempting to advance our career goals, working in the position of a manager, and not getting hired for desired positions, it is normal to feel as though we have failed, newmom.

It's difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel when there are so many stumbling blocks and so much clutter about.

Since no question was asked, newmon, I will assume that venting was a goal along with possibly some commiseration and possibly some ideas on a direction?

In the past, when I felt like a failure, a person very close to me would say, "Yeah, you feel like failure, but those are only your feelings. Your feelings are not necessarily based in logic or reality".

That alone made me feel better, but then she would go on to list my successes. This gave me a new perspective on my status and myself and I felt even better.

In your case, newmom, you successfully completed nursing school with four years of nursing experience, have a child, are a hard worker, and are motivated to advance yourself.

From my point of view, you're dealing with a lot and are focusing on the negative which, as I said, is understandable.

 

newmom17

45 Posts

11 hours ago, JBMmom said:

Clearly you are not an utter failure as you have found success in areas of your career. You would not have been given a charge role or responsibility for orienting others if you were incompetent, you successfully passed the PCCN and you got into NP school. These are all good accomplishments and you should be proud of them.

I'm sure the disappointment of not getting a couple jobs after interviews is tough. Is it possible for you to get any feedback about the interview process? I think it's entirely possible that because you don't have OR experience, the hospitals are looking for people that can hit the ground running, so if they have candidates with specific skills already, that's an easier fit for them. I know that the OR is a very different skill set than floor nursing. My hospital doesn't transition a lot of floor nurses into the OR. Sometimes a same day surgery position is a way to get a foot in the door with the OR. 

Sounds like you very easily take things to heart, which can be causing you extra stress. Finding out you're pregnant, while the timing may not have been ideal, wasn't something that you did on purpose to inconvenience a boss or coworkers. It's entirely possible that the added stress of that situation along with being a new nurse in a high stress environment set you up for difficulty in your ICU role. Transitioning as a new nurse into ICU is hard enough, it's not necessarily a failure that you were moved to another unit, if they didn't like you at all they would have let you go outright. Instead they chose to retain you as a nurse and transition to where your skills would be better matched at that time.

Try to cut yourself a break, things take times sometimes, but you will find success. Good luck.

I know you’re probably right, I’m gonna try to see the bright side of things. At least I have a job right? I did email the manager to ask for some feedback but haven’t gotten a response as of yet, but I’m hoping that’ll shes some light on why I can’t seem to find a job anywhere. Also the job I’m applying to is specifically for OR newbies. I’m definitely going to keep working at it. Thanks for the words of encouragement 🙏