Inappropriate patient. Getting past it.

[veegeern, BSN, RN]

Just a vent...Had a patient today. Male, elderly, frequent flyer, recent widow, A&O x3. Admitted for IV infusion. While taking VS, he reached out to hold my hand. This is usual for him. Over the years he has always been one to hold your hand while you talked with him. However, today he reached out with the other hand and grabbed my breast. I very firmly told him, "No. That's not appropriate," and I pulled my hand out of his. I had his VS, so I walked toward the door. He called out to me, and when I turned back he blew a kiss at me. I stated again, "That's not appropriate." I left the room in a rush, and I spoke with my charge nurse and nurse manager about what happened. :imbar

This is not the first time that a patient or a family member has been inappropriate with me either verbally or by a touch. In the past telling that person "No. That's inappropriate" has been enough to stop the behavior. At that point, I've been able to continue caring for the patient.

However, today this upset me to the point of tears, and I had to pass his care on to my charge nurse. I've had a long standing professional nurse/patient relationship with this person, and this behavior was very unexpected. A co-worker and my charge nurse both stated that they always believed that "he could be that way," but neither have ever had him act inappropriately with them. My nurse manager believes that his behavior was related to the changes that he's experienced in the past 6 mos - 1 year.

In retrospect, I wander if I should have handled him differently before leaving the room. Maybe I should have questioned him r/t his actions? I was just so unexpectedly flustered.

I believe that I'll be able to get past this incident and care for him if/when he returns to us in the future. However, I'll be doing a little less hand holding, and a little more watching his hands in the future!

Whew! Thanks for letting me vent! Sorry for typos/errors. Just finished my 2nd 12 hour shift, and I need to go to bed.

[TazziRN, RN]

Sorry you had to experience that. If he's had changes in the past months, is it possible there have been neuro changes? Not excusing him by any means, but a neuro change could explain the inappropriate behavior.

[EricJRN, MSN, RN]

My first reaction to the post was also that maybe there was a medical explanation for the behavior, like a neuro issue. However, I think you handled the situation fine.

If a patient puts his hands on you in an unwanted manner, whether we're talking a sexual move or violent behavior, I think you have every right to get the heck out of Dodge. Staying with the patient and trying to uncover the underlying issue might have only encouraged further offensive behavior.

[control]

I think you handled it well.

Something similar happened to me before, but the guy held my hand too long while looking "elsewhere". His wife was right in the room.

One thing I don't miss about patient care is the overly touchy-feely people. Ick.

[chadash]

When this type of thing happens with an old guy, I always think "dementia". (in my case, I am so old, the guys got to be demented!)

If it seems particularly focused on you, it is just as well that someone else gives the care, or maybe someone else could be nearby while you do.

In long term care, where there is so much dementia, this is so common you just have to learn to dodge advances, make the best of it. It is particularly difficult in home health, where you are isolated with the patient.

In your circumstances, with your colleagues being supportive, I think you did the right thing.