In need of words of encouragement or advice.............

Jenpea71 · Jul 30, 2008

You are never too old! I am 36 (37 in November) have a BA in psychology and currently working 4 days per week as a social worker. I am married, have a husband, mortgage, almost 4 year old and preg with #2. I have been taking a night class each semester and still have 4 pre-reqs to go before I can apply. Take it one day at a time and somehow everything will fall into place. If it is meant to be, it will be. Look at it this way, you have until at least 67 to work to collect social security so even if you are finally an RN at 45, you have 22 years left to work! That is a long time. Take a deep breath and work on taking care of your family and doing your pre-reqs. You will get there :)

Jen

TeeRN2Be · Aug 3, 2008

Hi Karen:)

I just wanted to tell you, I really feel you on this. I just turned 27 in July and have been working on my pre-reqs since 2001. At that time I had two kids a 3 year old and 1 year old. Now I have a 10 year old, 8 year old, 4 year old and newborn son. Throughout these last six years I have doubted myself if I could do this, listening to the nurses that I work with say that you can't work while in nursing school but guess what, they didn't have my bills, my mortgage, car note, huge daycare bill, or other bills to pay. To top that off, I make more than my husband so we really cannot do without my full income. At the most, we have to have at least 80% of my income. It has taken me almost seven years to say that if it's meant to be, God will make a way. I'm not an over religous person but I do believe that when things are meant to happen, they happen in a pattern to lead you on the right path. This will be the first time I apply to nursing school this fall and I am already thinking about the what if's but I know God has this, so whatever comes, I'm ready. I don't want to wake up five years from now (like I do now) and say if only I went ahead and applied, I could have been doing "X" right now... Nursing is a great career option with many possibilites and countless opportunites for growth. In the end, you will be giving your family a better sense of security that no one can take away or make it happen more than you can. Grab ahold of your future and do what's best for you! Hugs to you because I'm in the same boat.

NurseJeanB · Aug 3, 2008

Of course this is entirely your decision, but I turned 40 when I started nursing school and I will be 42 when I graduate. It isn't too late. There are many of us second career nursing students. I "retired" from a job of 21 years, that was not health career related, just so that I could "follow my lifelong dream". I am even more determined to become a nurse. Financially it is tough. Like you, I have a hubby, son, mortgage payments, and credit card debt. And yes, just when you need things to cooperate it all goes awry. The gas prices are going through the roof, the house and cars decide to break down, and even my dog got sick and required major surgery. I had to bite the bullet and take out a loan, but I don't regret it. I know you don't want to take financial aid out for the first year, but you were planning to use it in subsequent years. Maybe you can get grants or work out some kind of work study arrangement with the local hospitals. There are some hospitals that offer to pay for school as long as you contract to work for them a specified amount of time. Hopefully markets will rebound and some of the investments you made will recover.

In my class, there are many who work (some part time, but we even have a few that work full-time.)

I guess I just want you to explore all your options, because I am so enthusiastic about wanting everyone who makes it into nursing school to succeed.

No doubt nursing school is a challenge, being able to keep all parts of your life balanced and maintain your sanity is a feat in itself, but to me it is worth it.

The pain of being financially strapped for 1,2, or 3 years is offset by the knowledge that I will emerge a nurse in an industry that will be short nurses, and that has good earning potential. Also there are so many avenues that are open to pursue that I l know that I will end up doing something I enjoy.

Other than the people I used to work with, I do not miss my old job, because I wasn't doing what I had interest in at all.

I wish you all the best and much encouragement. If you ever need to talk or just vent feel free to contact me.

Best regards,

Jean

serendipity123 · Aug 3, 2008

You are never too old! I am 36 (37 in November) have a BA in psychology and currently working 4 days per week as a social worker. I am married, have a husband, mortgage, almost 4 year old and preg with #2. I have been taking a night class each semester and still have 4 pre-reqs to go before I can apply. Take it one day at a time and somehow everything will fall into place. If it is meant to be, it will be. Look at it this way, you have until at least 67 to work to collect social security so even if you are finally an RN at 45, you have 22 years left to work! That is a long time. Take a deep breath and work on taking care of your family and doing your pre-reqs. You will get there :)
Jen

I totally agree with everything Jen said. I know a woman that had 2 kids, one too young to go to school and one too ill to go to school who was always in and out of the hospital. She was in debt up to her ears already. Married with a mortgage. I am unsure of her exact age when she started NS but she was at least your age, probably older. She and her husband made too much to get financial aid as well, so she took on more debt to fund her education.

Fast forward 13 years. She is working as an RN and while it is a ton of work, she loves it and feels it is her life's calling. Her income as an RN allowed her to pay off all her student laon debt as well as her existing debt. She is going through a divorce but doesn't have to worry about not having enough to pay her lawyer or not being able to care for her kids on her own. As a nurse, she can care for her ill child at home reducing his hospital stays and her income is more than enough to support herself and her children. Basically, she loves her life now, and wishes she had never stressed about the money in the first place. She knew nursing was her calling, so she followed her heart and everything worked itself out. Hopefully you will be able to do the same.

Just remember, it is never too late to follow a dream. Whether it is now or a few years from now.

cloggersmom · Aug 3, 2008

Karen,

Every time I need a little hug or pick-me-up I head to this site. These people always inspire me. Just reading the stories and to know that I am not alone in my struggle to achieve my dream helps me to pick myself back up and go hit the books again. I am a 30 year old single mom, taking care of my disabled mother. There are days when I get my grades back and I ask myself what in the world am I thinking, but that is when I know that I must fight a little harder and know that somehow, somewhere the money, the wisdom, and the support will appear. You can do it honey, and you will be a better person for it.

Hugs headed your way!

Ladypie · Aug 4, 2008

My community college nursing school is not that expensive, so even putting it on a low rate credit card isn't so bad. In 2 years I will be able to get a better paying job and pay it off. Do you have a credit card with a low (or no) rate, or can you get one? No one likes to rack up credit card debt, but 5K isn't so much, and could be paid off quickly with an RN's salary.

I am sorry your investments didn't turn out how you hoped. Don't let it discourage you.

karen230 · Aug 4, 2008

Thank you so much everyone for your encouragement. I just need to get myself back in to the frame of mind that I can only plan as much as I can and take NS one day at a time/one course at a time. If it is meant to be then it will happen.

mybrowneyedgirl, BSN, RN · Aug 4, 2008

oh my gosh yes. i'm soon to be 37 and have a lot of similar issues as you. i start in less than 3 weeks and i quit my job. occasionally i still freak out and wonder what the heck was i thinking?

but if i don't do it i'll regret it forever. better late than never, right? i advise you to really look closely at how you can cut back on expenses. then try to create a budget and see if it's possible on one income. then look into scholarship, loans and grants as soon as possible.

find a loan that you don't have to start paying back until you graduate.

don't give up on your dream. just today i wrote a list of why i can do this and why it's important and taped it on a wall near my desk. my favorite saying is from yoda (nutty, i know) : do or do not - there is no try. i actually have this on a keychain i carry too.

good luck!

i am 38 yrs old (or will be in a month) and haven't started ns yet. i am planning on attending in the fall of 2009 so this year i will knock out a&p i&ii (they aren't pre-req's at my school but i want to take them before i start the program). i have the normal 38 yo issues, kids, hubby, house, car payments, etc., etc., and have started trying to save for school. but lately, things have been terrible for us and i have been dipping into my school money for necessities. so to try and stop myself from dipping into my school money i started to put it other places that were not as easily accessible as a savings account is. i tied up some in a cd and some in stocks thinking that i had over a year to wait before i would need to cash the stocks in and get the cash. well you know where this is going, the markets are down even further than they were when i bought the stock so i have lost money, i haven't been able to "replace" the money that i used for necessities and and to top it all off, the last 2 paychecks i haven't been able to put anything away for school. i am only a couple of weeks away from having to buy the book for next semester and with all the money locked up in other places, i'm not sure i'll have enough cash saved up to purchase my books for fall. now i am starting to second guess the financial plan i figured out last summer which should have gotten me enough cash to get me through the first semester of ns without financial aid or having to take out a student loan and now, i am not so sure it will happen anymore. and i am also starting to second guess that i am making the right choice for myself and my family at this point. the plan is to quit working while i'm in school and with the price of gas, groceries, and now utilities going up, i am not so sure that we will be able to do without my income. yet i am very concerned about trying to work while i'm in school and have applied for positions at my current job that are part-time in hopes of being able to do at most part-time while in school but right now we can't afford for me to go part-time. but part-time positions at my work don't come up very often so i fear that if i don't apply when they get posted that it will be too long before i see another and to top it all off, my employer is talking about possibly cutting jobs which could lead to lay-offs or vacant positions not getting filled, which would mean even less of a chance at getting part-time in the future. i do not feel that my job is in jeopardy though since i think i am too far up the totum pole to get a pink slip and if i did, i have bumping rights or could take a severence pkge.
i'm just starting to feel that i am not making the right decision for this point in my life and that maybe i am too old to go to school full-time with all the responsibility dh and i have right now. i applied for a scholarship but of course won't hear anything for that until much later and that may help if i am lucky enough to get one. i am already expecting to be rejected for financial aid since dh and i make too much but after the first year of me not working, we may be able to get something for my second year in the adn program. that is why i was trying to pay out right for the first semester, thinking i would take out a loan for the second and remaining semesters while trying to limit how much debt i was creating by going back to school.
i'm just feeling like we just can't afford for me to make a career change right now and that by the time my little guy starts school (in another 3 yrs), i will be too old by the time i graduate to find a job quickly and will have lost a couple of years pay, pension, retirement and all that besides possibly having to create debt for nothing at that point.
has anyone second guess their decision to make a career change? how did you get through those feelings of "am i doing the right thing right now?" i guess if i lost my job then i could use whatever they gave me for a severence pkg to help pay for school and household expenses, but what if it isn't enough? would a severence pkg void me from being able to collect unemployment benefits? i would rather go on unemployment while in school so at least we have something coming in from me.

cowboysgirl2007 · Aug 5, 2008

karen,

as others are posting their favorite sayings to get them thru the day, i thought i should tell you mine:

"i never promised it would be easy, i only promised it would be worth it."

i should give credit for who said those wonderful words, but i honestly don't know. in fact, i love those words of encouragment so much that i had a mural painted in my study room with those words floating at the top. when i am feeling low and overwhelmed, i just look at my wall. might be hokey, but everyone has to do whatever it takes for them to get thru the day. and getting thru the day, one day at a time, is the goal!

i am 26 and also have children, hubby, and loads of bills, so i relate with you. i worked as a cna in a nsg home for 4 years b/c i dearly love the elderly. i decided that even though i would be starting later in life than some, it would be worth it. as a nurse, i can help more than i ever thought possible.

i have a question or two for you, no need to answer back, but just gives you some food for thought: why do you want to be a nurse? what gave you that first thought of becoming a nurse? to me, i think about those questions a lot, and it reminds me of why i'm doing this. i want to help people...so all of this will be worth it in the end.

i wish you so much luck in your future, and in whatever you decide to do. whenever you are feeling down, come back here! there is so much support...take advantage of it!

liz

OnTrek · Aug 5, 2008

I'm 38 years old and just finished nursing school. I also just took the NCLEX and failed. But you know what - I'm still going on. Nursing school has been a tough road - the toughest road I've ever been on. MUCH tougher than I ever thought it would be 4 years ago. But when I'm actually practicing the art of nursing - I can't imagine being anywhere else. I absolutely love it. So I'm going on and taking the NCLEX again. If you REALLY want to be a nurse - you won't let something like money stand in your way - put it in perspective - it is ONLY money. Bills will get paid some way. And the kids won't be wearing the newest clothes. But when the end goal is happiness - don't let anything like money stand in your way.

notthereyet0 · Aug 5, 2008

I am 45 years old and my kids are in college. I am just starting ns this fall and couldn't get into the shorter accelerated programs so it is 3 years for me. There are so many options that I think you could consider, such as applying for some of the federal loans you might qualify for if you apply. These are forgiven at a rate of 15% the first year, 20 the second, and so on according to the paperwork. Even if they are not, the financial burden is lifted and you can repay after you get a good paying job. If you really want to do it you can...Hope the best for you!!