In need of some advice Please!

I would like to recommend a book called "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. The four agreements are these: Be impeccable with your word. Don't take anything personally. Don't make assumptions. Always do your best. It may not be for everyone but I find a lot of knowledge and truth in this book. It may help you in situations such as your previous employer as well as every day life.

My advice is to honestly spend as much time around people in the field as you can. Know why? You want to be able to quickly assess who the "good" folks will be and who the "bad" folks will be when they are approaching so you don't spend time pouring resources of any kind, including your mental and emotional well-being, into a bad well. Not everyone is going to want to help you, but not everyone is going to want to harm you. Some folks that want to harm you need your help My point is, people are people. Let them be that. If nursing is what you want to do, it will be the job you come to do and you will find a way to make sure nothing else affects that. People will only treat you the way you let them.

Can you shadow a nurse LPN or RN for a day or two? See how people interact with them and see how you feel emotionally. It is not perfect idea but it might let you know right off if you can not deal with it.. I think I would try to shadow in LTC at least a day. Have you started pre-reqs for nursing? Maybe starting a few will get you into the politics of nursing school.. and you can see how you handle that. If you can let people just be people and not feel the need to let them affect you.. then go for it... Your compassion will make you a good nurse.. I jst would hate to see you crash and burn over "people" again.

I read your post several times. I may be wrong, but what stood out for me in reading what you wrote was the compassion you seem to have for the patients you have cared for compared to the disdain you felt coming from the people you worked with. Part of being a really good nurse is having confidence in yourself. You must be able to speak your truth. There will always be times in nursing where a Dr tries to make you feel like an idiot and unless you truly believe and know you aren't, then you are going to let him/her affect you wrongly. There will always be co-workers that you think aren't doing their jobs, but you are only responsible for the work you do. If they aren't doing their jobs, it doesn't become your job to point that out. Nursing requires a compassionate heart and a sharp brain and thick skin. The fact that all this upset you to the point that you were "almost thinking of suicide" is what really worries me. Also that your family noticed the isolation and workaholic tendencies. Be careful that you aren't really wanting to be loved back------by the patients and the staff. Wanting to care for people isn't enough to be a nurse. Patients don't really care whether you put a smile on their face or not; they care whether or not you are exceptional at your job and that your skills are impecable.

If you want to be a nurse, then go for it. In the process, be open to change within yourself. If you become a nurse and still have the same ideology, you will be just as miserable as you are now. It does concern me that everyone at your last job accused you of lies or they backstabbed. Everywhere I have ever worked, there is usually one person that accuses someone of something, but the entire staff? If I were you, I would make an appointment with the manager and LISTEN to what they say was the real problem. Don't argue or defend. It doesn't mean that it is really true, but once you leave and have time to contemplate what their paradigm was, maybe you will have a different perspective on some of the things you need to work on. If they didn't see your compassion, then maybe just because you are feeling the love, you may not be expressing the love and you may need to work on that. If you love your fellow man/woman, then that also includes the people you work with. :redbeathe

Charlee RN

I don't think you need to change anything to become a nurse, sounds like you already have what it takes. You just need to work on your confidence a little and not let other people get to you so much.

I recently had a job that was hell also. I know how it feels. I got along well with management and my coworkers, but the head boss really disliked me. I don't even know why! She just had it out for me. She would write me up for the most ridiculous things to try and get me fired and verbally abused me. Well, she finally fired me. I'm not a nurse, but this was a hospital position I had for 4 years.

I don't know if this varies from state to state, but it is really difficult to have someone "blacklisted" unless they do something really bad. Chances are, you aren't blacklisted just because your coworkers spread rumors about you. You should be able to call HR and see if you're rehirable, they'll tell you. And let's say you are not considered eligible for rehire, when you get a new job, most employers will only verify how long you worked there, your position and how much you made. They will not tell the new employer you were fired. There have been too many lawsuits regarding this. Now I'm talking about big companies, I don't know how private businesses operate. This may vary from state to state, but I did a lot of research on this when I got fired and I found this to be true.

Long story short, forget these people who tried to make your life hell. You don't want to work there again anyways. It will not affect your future career prospects. If nursing is what you wanna do, go for it!

I want to thank everyone who responded to my post!! Your feedback really helped me out! I am taking the plunge and going in!! I'm going for the LPN program first and then bridge to RN. I think this is a good starting point for me. Thank you again for your encouragement and your thoughts!!! I have to work on not wearing my heart on my sleeve and to be more confident and assertive!!...and I think...no I know...I can do it with the grace of God, I can do this!!

I will have to remember where one door closes, another door WILL be opened!! Love this website and love you guys!! thanks again! :redbeathe