I'm Sorry, But I'm Thankful, part 2

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Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.

To the one who was on the brink:

Dear Patient:

I'm sorry you were so sick.

I'm sorry we rolled and tumbled you like so many sacks of potatoes, trying to help you.

I'm sorry you were pummelled, pounded, stuck, tubed, pushed on, and all but waxed (from electrodes).

I'm SO sorry you were stuck with an NP who had not run a code in a year or more calling the shots until a doc could come.

However............................................

I am thankful that you are alive, and that maybe I helped keep you that way, despite what little I knew to do and did.

(And I'm really, REALLY thankful that the doc did not get mad at me for running the code without them. Yes, I knew what to do, yes, I can give orders, but they outrank me. This one just thanked me and said that she was glad I was there TO call the shots.)

Signed, a very shaky, very thankful, very, very proud NP, who is grateful for everyone that helped and that did not notice how scared I was.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, ICU, educator.

thank goodness you were there! I know the patient feels this way, whether they express it or not. Double kudos to you!

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You go girl! I am, for one, very grateful for people like you! I hope to be able to write something along the same lines! You're fantastic and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! *High-fives AngelfireRN* :w00t:

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Specializes in M/S, MICU, CVICU, SICU, ER, Trauma, NICU.

I am getting from this that you have very little code experience?

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Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.

You could say that, it HAS been a while. And I am only now in a position that I can actually RUN them. As a floor nurse, I took orders, I did not give them. 2 in 2 weeks has brought me up to speed and made me realize that, when the chips are down, my instincts take over, and I really DO know what I'm doing.

They are something I hate to practice in reality, but am glad I am able to do. I never thought ACLS would be something I could just spout off. As for the shaky comment, I was coming down off the adrenaline high. I did manage to get to my office before that part hit. It's just what I do after a code, always have.

I just wish there was a way to stay up on my skills without someone having to crump. Still, he lived, so SOMETHING went right.

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Specializes in M/S, MICU, CVICU, SICU, ER, Trauma, NICU.

You work in an ER now and don't have an ER background? nor ICU?

If that is the case, Angelfire.....

work bedside to get these experiences.

If you really want to do well for your patients, look into it. People with a strong background will notice this weakness in your knowledge base, NP or not.

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Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.

No, no, I work in a cardiology clinic. I make rounds at the hospital. I do have background in ER and ICU, it has just been a while since I was there.

Both of these instances, I was just there when they happened. The first posting, the hospitalist was present, I did compressions. This time, the doc was a bit in coming, so I ran things (with a great group of nurses, RT staff, and techs) until they could get there. Doc said I did fine.

I have a major problem with self-doubt. I know I can do these things, I just have this horrid fear of screwing up.

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