During the coronavirus crisis, I've been moved by the outpouring of gratitude toward healthcare workers. But there are some expressions of gratitude that make me uncomfortable. Read on to find out why.
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I have been moved by the awesome outpouring of gratitude from the public during the coronavirus pandemic. My spirits are lifted each day as I pass the homemade "Thank You" signs and banners that line the road leading to my workplace. I have especially enjoyed reading the cards and letters sent by the youth to encourage the nursing staff. It gives me hope that the younger generation will carry a deep respect and appreciation for healthcare workers.
Gut Reaction Concerns
But, there are some expressions of gratitude that have been gnawing at me. When certain people cheer on front-line workers, I immediately have a major internal "eye-rolling" moment. Since I'm not a cynical person by nature, this gut reaction has bothered me. When I am struggling with something internally, it always helps to write it down. I So, I did just that.... fleshed it out for insight. I write under a pseudonym, which gives me the freedom to openly share my experience and thoughts when I write.
Insincerity?
Now that I have a better understanding of my angst, I suspect I am not the only lonely tree in this parking lot. The "people" whose apology I often perceive as insincere are executive administrators, politicians and lawmakers. Recently, healthcare administrators sent messages praising how we've "all come together", "stepped up to provide competent and compassionate care" and "supported the organization's mission during trying times". But, thoughts like these below keep me from truly accepting their gratitude.
Because I'm a Nurse
I am a nurse, and like other nurses, this is just what we do. Yes, it is unprecedented and scary times. But because I am a nurse... I care for COVID patients with the same high level of commitment that I have for all patients throughout my career.
Feeling Under-Valued
I don't feel valued by executive leadership and this is a common occurrence throughout my nursing career. There are many reasons for this, but the majority seem to be "universal" regardless of the employer.
The "Executive Silo"
I have had exceptional supervisors, managers and directors over the course of my career. Unfortunately, there have been times the voices of nurse leaders are not heard. Decisions made by executive teams are often made in a silo. This "executive silo" too often consists of non-medical individuals or individuals who are long removed from day to day realities.
Disregarding OUR Safety
My safety, as well as my co-worker's safety, has been undermined by decisions driven by profit. Safety concerns run the gamut, from available PPE to violence against healthcare workers. I have worked the past few years with less than a $1.00 raise despite stellar evaluations. However, I have never lowered my patient care standards based on pay gaps and poor incentives.
FACT: I suspect that Senator Walsh's "card playing" remarks are shared in political circles. At minimal, her public comments certainly did not help build a rapport of trust.
Recognizing and Addressing Personal Biases
I've given much thought to what it is that I can do to address my biases. Ultimately, I need to use my voice and get involved. I plan to communicate to upper management that I appreciate the recognition for the quality of care I and other nurses have always provided. I also need to network with other nurses and educate myself on the barriers that keep nursing from being perceived as a profession. But most of all, I need to advocate for the profession I love.
Final Note
I wrote this article about my experience during the COVID-19 crisis. I acknowledge that my thoughts are limited to my own personal experiences and circumstances, which may be hugely different from your own. Even though my facility had a large number of COVID patients, we have not reached a point of an overwhelmed system.
