Icu frustrations after 1 year (new grad)

[XDeemerDogx12]

Hey all, this is my first post to this site. I've been a longtime reader but never made a username or anything like this until today.

For background, I graduated over a year ago from a 4 year nursing school and accepted a position in a mixed icu (meaning much, sicu, Neuro, etc.) At a reputable level one trauma center in the heart of my city.

As one can imagine, the learning curve when I first began/still continues to be sky high. However I believe that I approached each shift and each patient withthe proper attitude and a thirst to learn. Ultimately my goal (as cliche as it sounds) Is to be better today than i was yesterday.

Over the past year+ I've made great strides in my skills as an rn as well as my knowledge of hospital logistics and treatment plans. I take the time to pick older nurses brains and jump in to help when It is warranted. I've taken extra education classes to pick up tidbits of knowledge. Bottom line--i want to be a great nurse. I want to be a trustworthy coworker and a super effective and efficient practitioner.

Recently however I feel as though I am regressing in my skills/ confidence. Prime example... I can't seem to hit an iv if my life (the PATIENTS life) depended on it. Furthermore, I made my first medication error the other day (luckily no harm was done to the patient but I still feel horrible). All of these things have shaken my confidence.

I feel as though I was a better nurse 2/3 months ago than I have been recently. It is a large source of frustration and churns up a lot of emotions.

I guess what I am asking/looking for--has anyone else experienced this. What types of advice could be offered? Those sorts of things

Thank you for your time

[Guest374845]

I teach ultrasound IV placement, I'm EJ-validated, I'm the one who gets called for random hard sticks all over the place. And I miss plenty if I'm just eye balling it in a patient on hospital day 17. And med error... pfffft. That might not be your first, just the first one you noticed.

Neither things are measures of your quality as a nurse. I'm sure you're better than you were yesterday. You just need a confidence-boosting juicy IV start to get your mojo back.

[llg, PhD, RN]

I strongly suspect you are a better nurse today than you were a few months ago. But as you have learned more, you now realize how much there still is to learn. One of the downsides of learning more is realizing how much you still have to learn. So your insecurities now are actually a sign of progress.

Your next developmental task is to get emotionally comfortable with the fact that you are still not perfect and never will be. And did you really think you would be one of the first nurses in history to NEVER make a med error? That's just another normal milestone that we all pass at some point in our careers.

Just keep plugging away at it. Notice that even the experienced nurses miss an IV occasionally, make a mistake, or seek advice from their colleagues. That's just the way reality is -- and always will be. When you were "younger," those experiences nurses seemed infallible to you and you longed to "reach that level" at some point. But as you get close to that level, you now are starting to realize that even competent nurses are not perfect all the time and sometimes need help. Don't be afraid to talk to your colleagues/mentors about that -- but I recommend that when you do, you avoid criticizing yourself too much so that you sound like a total loser. See it as a normal state of affairs.

Good luck.

[XDeemerDogx12]

Thank you for the kind words

[akulahawkRN, ADN, RN, EMT-P]

I'm sure you are now a better nurse than you were when you first started. I find the fact that you want to keep learning very encouraging. Why? In this field, things can change very quickly. There will always be more to learn. I don't care how long you have been a nurse, the day you feel like you don't need to learn anything more or that there's nothing more to learn, that's the day you should quit. You may be at the top of your game that day. But that is also the day you become dangerous to everyone around you, especially dangerous to patients.

While I'm still relatively new to nursing, I'm not new to patient care. I am also a Paramedic. In that field I worked long and hard at being the best Paramedic I could possibly be. I became quite competent at it. I know what it feels like to be unconsciously competent in that job. You just know what to do and you just do it because that's what you do. I'm not there in my nursing practice but I keep learning and improving every day. Some day it'll just happen. As long as you approach each day with a desire to learn and improve, you'll never be truly dangerous.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

My peak as a nurse, feeling like I knew the most, was six years in. Then I tried PICU...crashed and burned.

I've done OB, M/S, PEDS, ICU and ER, and although my knowledge increases, the feeling just a little dumb stays with me.

[KeepinitrealCCRN]

skills like inserting an IV take practice, the more you do , the better you will get. when i first started nursing there would be weeks when i wouldn't miss and then a week where i couldn't get an IV to save my life either but that is just part of the game. i think the most important thing is when you said "Bottom line--i want to be a great nurse. I want to be a trustworthy coworker and a super effective and efficient practitioner."; this alone will make you great. skills can be taught and practiced to perfection but the desire and personality can not be taught. good luck, you'll be amazing!