I don't think I can do this anymore...

Nurses General Nursing

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:o I don't think I can be a nurse anymore. I am tired, tired, tired of all the B__S__. I did hospice work for 6 years, then took a short break to help take care of my sister who was diagnosed with breast ca. Went back to work, but tried home health. I'm just so weary and tired of having to cater to people - patients and families. It doesn't seem I can just "be a nurse". I'm tired peoples' demands ("No, you can't come at 9:00. I don't like getting up early" no, you can't come because I have to take the dog to the groomers" to "you have to check my 02 sats" even though I don't have an order, and pt is asymptomatic. Or, being unable to schedule a visit because the patient is driving his wife to the airport (!!!) yet I'm told I still have to see him for blood work. I tell the office about these folks, and I'm told to see them anyway. Or, how about telling a patient the truth, even if the agency doesn't like it. (yes, Mrs. Jones the wound on your leg is horrible and getting worse daily, but don't ask my opinion about seeing a different doctor for a second opinion because doctor #1 won't like it and will complain about me. BTW - lady ended up in the hospital for it) And, one pt I saw this week - who has early stage dementia - had a gun in a holster on him with his wife sitting 2 chairs down from me. I didn't see it until I went to check his lungs. The wife? she told me that she was glad she gave him his medicine to "calm him down" earlier. I can also honestly say I have never met a group of people who felt so entitled in my life! People are sick - I understand that - but the ones who are truly sick are the least demanding. And the families...yikes. I can't take it anymore. I am giving my notice tomorrow, even without another job to go to. I need to clear my brain and do some soul-searching before I pursue anything else.

This makes me sad, though. I went in to nursing with such high hopes and good intentions, and look what happened :sniff:

mc3

Well, everyone, I did give my very short notice. I had to - I was afraid I was going to blow a gasket or something. It was better to go out on a somewhat high note. Hubby and I will be very, very conservative with the cash and expenses. We always have been, and that's why I can do this now. I feel like I'm at the end of a nightmare, or a very long sickness. I hope in the next days and weeks that feeling goes away, 'cause it's not comfortable. I am so very sick of people, I have little compassion anymore. Yet, someone said it and it's so true - the folks that are truly ill I still feel for - it's everyone else - family members, especially, that I'm burnt out on.

Thanks again for all your kind words.

mc3 :paw:

this too shall pass and there will be a light at the end of the tunnel

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Hello Leslie,

I haven't been on the hospice board for a while, since I left there, actually. (The postings made me miss you all too much..) I left hospice because they did away with the RN/LPN team as part of their cost-cutting (they said), which left a few of us LPN's with a questionable future there. So, I figured I'd be better safe than sorry to find another job. The nearest office of another hospice in the next county is about 50 miles away (one-way). I'm in a very rural area. Also, I'm wondering if the hospice work contributed to my "burnout". I did love, it, though, and miss it!

mc3

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Ok just my two cents. Nothing in this is made to sound sarcastic at all.

I am not a nurse, yet. However, am a nursing student, and with 4 kids and one with special needs have dealth with, and experience a lot in the medical field.

One: Are you all sure that you're in the right area of nursing? I know many people just aren't in the area that fits them. Instead of quitting, because I view nurses as strong individuals who don't just give up, could you try a different field? Maybe a Doctor's Office, insurance company, Home Health Management, etc.?

Two: You have to remember that these families are concerned. Even though I am a nursing student, I am that annoying family member who wants to know every detail of what you have done, and plan to do. why? Because it's my loved one and I care.

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Ok, I will take a very deep breath.....

Now. You are not a nurse yet. You may think you know, but you have no clue, I repeat, none, about what nurses go through on a daily basis. Try having someone standing over your shoulder with no earthly idea about what they are talking about telling you they're going to sue you for some imagined reason. Try reading the thread "what's the meanest thing a patient ever said to you" to get a taste. Try standing on your feet for 12 hours without having time to urinate or eat lunch because you're too busy and don't have enough help. You have no idea about what challenges I may have in my life, as well. "Strong individuals who just don't give up?" Do you think I thought this decision through lightly? You don't even know me, and presume much about me. I have to remember the families are concerned? How about the families who are concerned because their loved ones are truly sick and not getting care, because "Mom needs ginger ale now" How dare you! Never, ever question my compassion. You do not know me. This board is to vent and commiserate with our colleagues who understand what we deal with. And until you walk in my shoes.....

mc3:angryfire

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Was that to me? I really hope not because I said nothing mean to you. I never once pretended to be in your shoes or know what you go through. Also, the post replied before I hit reply. I will, soon, be a nurse. I will feel the pain you feel. However, am not judging you in any type of way. Many families show their concern is various ways. I am saying this to remind you and to calm you down. I want to go into mental health nursing, I'm in for it. And pediatric psychiatry at that. I'm going to have the worried parents, the med adjustments, withdrawls, everything in general that goes along with it. I'm definitely not a nurse but have worked in management in the healthcare field long enough to know what goes with it. I have hired and fired nurses, I have heard all kinds of stories, and seen what actually goes on. I resect nurses, obviously, or else I wouldn't want to be one.

Again, that post was VERY rude. To me, you're not compassionate, or you are VERY overworked and stressed out. Me, I am a very calm person, who TALKS things out in a calm, mature manner. I think that before you fly off the handle at people that you need to take a deep breath and remember you posted your feelings on a nursing board, you're going to get all kinds of responses good, or bad. No one ever said you're a bad nurse, people were making suggestions for you, I was anyway. In the post that didn't come through I actually said... God Bless you, and may God lead you where you are truly meant to be.

God Bless

I truly hope you find your calling or get the help that is needed to help carry through in the profession you are obviously very compassionate about. You will find it one day. I apologize if I said something to offend you.

Julz

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To make a correction I said you must have compassion I meant to say you must not have patience... being you over-analyzed what was said.

Anyway, to address something else you said in your post. Standing on your feet for 12 hours, not getting a break. I have four children, one with Autism who has SEVERE, and I mean VERY severe behavior problems. I get NO breaks. When he is having an all day meltdown, guess what, that's my day. Putting him a hold, talking with him, hugging him, letting him out of time out, then in two minutes going through it again. Yeah, may not be nursing, but I know what it takes. I very rarely bring this up, because it's none of anyone's business, but at the same time as you're telling me I have no idea what it's like, you have no idea what my life is like, and that it is very similar to yours. I constantly am being told by MR/DD casworkers if I do this, if I do that I can go to jail, if I put him in an incorrect hold I can have him taken away, etc. etc. I have someone watching over my shoulder 24/7 as well. Yeah, you can lose your nursing license, I can lose my child. Please think before you make comments.

On another note, I never said you were "giving" up, I said "I think of nurses to be strong and people that don't give up." Well, maybe I am wrong, maybe that's just me. I'm one to keep pushing if I really want something. I don't feel that you're giving up, and never said you made this decision overnight, again nursing isn't for everyone. And I have read a lot of these posts. Matter-of-fact I just told my Husband a lot of you scare by everything that you say, but luckily all I have seen about my potential area of interest has had nothing but good comments, so I feel a little better. I learn a lot from all of the nurses on here. We ARE future nurses, yes, you're here to talk to colleagues, but remember there are students on here whom maybe DON'T understand what your day-to-day walk is as a nurse, but it's our goal, I believe to restore faith back into you guys. All I can read is negative, negative negative... maybe it helps to hear a little positive, even IF we don't know what you do. We're certainly trying our hardest. I just pray to GOD I hope I don't get the burn out that a lot of nurses are experiencing because I've been in enough professions to know, it's where I want to be.

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Ok just my two cents. Nothing in this is made to sound sarcastic at all.

I am not a nurse, yet. However, am a nursing student, and with 4 kids and one with special needs have dealth with, and experience a lot in the medical field.

One: Are you all sure that you're in the right area of nursing? I know many people just aren't in the area that fits them. Instead of quitting, because I view nurses as strong individuals who don't just give up, could you try a different field? Maybe a Doctor's Office, insurance company, Home Health Management, etc.?

Two: You have to remember that these families are concerned. Even though I am a nursing student, I am that annoying family member who wants to know every detail of what you have done, and plan to do. why? Because it's my loved one and I care.

Please do not judge other people's feelings before you walk a mile in their shoes. As students people are often quick to judge. I know because I was once that way. Every patient is different and your expierience dealing with your sick loved one may be totally different when dealing with a stranger. Nursing is not an easy job, amd when you have too deal with difficult people it makes your job even harder. Once you become a nurse, give yourself a couple of years, and I gurantee you will find yourself venting too (about something).

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I completely agree, and if you read my last two posts I explained what happened. My post went haywire, posted, and I wrote the rest of it, thinking it posted but it didn't.

I understand, and I have said that I am sure I will feel the pain as well. I am prepared for this and plan to have God on my side all the way! I know with him, that I can do anything. I know what part of nursing I am meant to be in, the thus, will not fail, however, succeed. I am not "knocking" on anyone. I was actually trying to give her support and strength. I saw how much she really loves and is compassionate about her career and it breaks my heart to see anyone leave. I worked in a NH as an Activites Manager, I was up there with the DON, and all other upper level management, however, for some reason the patients families ALWAYS came to me, I had to hear all of the complaints, all of the nagging day in and day out., Some had my cell numbers and I had theirs. I didn't mind this, but trust me I know. I had to walk on my feet and NEVER stop. When patients fell and were bleeding all over the place, guess who cleaned them up, kissed their boo-boo's and bandaged them up, yep, me. I'm not saying I know what a nurse goes through, but I will some day, and I have all the respect for all nurses everywhere, well except the ones who are evil! At least this woman had the dignity to say she can't do it anymore, to me, that takes a lot. A lot of nurses will stay because they need the money, and sometimes... that's how abuse happens. And not just nurses, but anyone who is hands on directly with patients. She is going to make this work, and is taking her much needed break. She, as well, as everyone else will be in my prayers. I truly hope she finds it back to nursing, and soon, if it's what is meant to be. My heart truly goes out to her. I watched nurses at that NH walk i n and walk out within 5 months. They were overworked (45 pt-1 nurse ratio) underpaid, couldn't keep up with all the job demanded of them, the families would yell and scream at them, the DON never had their back, they had to work sick, and I mean, running to the bathroom to vomit, temp 104, etc., (and the DOn demanded they come in or else....) These are single parents, who had to do this or lost their home, and food to put in their childs mouth. I can understand and when I read this it broke my heart. I hate to see nurses who love what they do leave the field. I took all the nurses back.. laughed with them and cried with them.... So, what I'm trying to say is as much as I'm not a nurse, repect my background in what I have seen, dealt with, and my knowledge, I'm not new to the healthcare field by ANY means, it's been my life, and plan for it to always be. I just had to take a step back myself. I completely left the healthcare field after my last position after all I saw. In this break I realized that things are going to happen, people are going to **** me off, I'm going to get burnt out, but this is what God has sent me to do. Look what he did for us? It's the least I can do help "fix" people that are broken. Now, that is ME, I'm not saying that in regards to ANYONE else so please don't take it that way. I am religious and hold on to my values in my religion, and that's what gives me faith and motivation.

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Specializes in ICU, CVICU, Case Management.

You may want to try a different area of nursing, it sounds like you are finished or near finished with home care.

Try case management or 24 hour nurseline. Wellpoint is hiring, they are the parent company of many BlueCrossBlueShield plans. My friend switched from hospital L & D, now wroking as health coach from home. She works for a health insurance company.

She says it is a slower pace and she can always do per diem work at the hospital if she misses the face to face contact with patients.

It is something I am considering doing. Although I love the ICU, it can get frustrating.

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Oh, I want to add to, because the girl just reminded me above me when she said something about the ICU. I have a friend who worked telemetry for a long time. She HATED it and was a pretty new nurse, 4 yrs. She just got promoted to ICU about a year ago and LOVES IT! That's what I meant when I said, not everyone is in the right field, maybe switch, is what I was talking about.

I hope you can see I meant no harm. I really feel like a poopy person and am beating myself up, maybe I deserve it, but it didn't mean to be rude. :o

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I completely agree, and if you read my last two posts I explained what happened. My post went haywire, posted, and I wrote the rest of it, thinking it posted but it didn't.

I understand, and I have said that I am sure I will feel the pain as well. I am prepared for this and plan to have God on my side all the way! I know with him, that I can do anything. I know what part of nursing I am meant to be in, the thus, will not fail, however, succeed. I am not "knocking" on anyone. I was actually trying to give her support and strength. I saw how much she really loves and is compassionate about her career and it breaks my heart to see anyone leave. I worked in a NH as an Activites Manager, I was up there with the DON, and all other upper level management, however, for some reason the patients families ALWAYS came to me, I had to hear all of the complaints, all of the nagging day in and day out., Some had my cell numbers and I had theirs. I didn't mind this, but trust me I know. I had to walk on my feet and NEVER stop. When patients fell and were bleeding all over the place, guess who cleaned them up, kissed their boo-boo's and bandaged them up, yep, me. I'm not saying I know what a nurse goes through, but I will some day, and I have all the respect for all nurses everywhere, well except the ones who are evil! At least this woman had the dignity to say she can't do it anymore, to me, that takes a lot. A lot of nurses will stay because they need the money, and sometimes... that's how abuse happens. And not just nurses, but anyone who is hands on directly with patients. She is going to make this work, and is taking her much needed break. She, as well, as everyone else will be in my prayers. I truly hope she finds it back to nursing, and soon, if it's what is meant to be. My heart truly goes out to her. I watched nurses at that NH walk i n and walk out within 5 months. They were overworked (45 pt-1 nurse ratio) underpaid, couldn't keep up with all the job demanded of them, the families would yell and scream at them, the DON never had their back, they had to work sick, and I mean, running to the bathroom to vomit, temp 104, etc., (and the DOn demanded they come in or else....) These are single parents, who had to do this or lost their home, and food to put in their childs mouth. I can understand and when I read this it broke my heart. I hate to see nurses who love what they do leave the field. I took all the nurses back.. laughed with them and cried with them.... So, what I'm trying to say is as much as I'm not a nurse, repect my background in what I have seen, dealt with, and my knowledge, I'm not new to the healthcare field by ANY means, it's been my life, and plan for it to always be. I just had to take a step back myself. I completely left the healthcare field after my last position after all I saw. In this break I realized that things are going to happen, people are going to **** me off, I'm going to get burnt out, but this is what God has sent me to do. Look what he did for us? It's the least I can do help "fix" people that are broken. Now, that is ME, I'm not saying that in regards to ANYONE else so please don't take it that way. I am religious and hold on to my values in my religion, and that's what gives me faith and motivation.

I am sure that you will do well. On a lighter note nursing is not a bad profession it is just those times when you have that difficult night or day and you just want to vent. Honestly I love my job and the people that I work with, however I do have my bad days, but it is those times when the patients let you know that you are appreciated that makes the job worthwhile.

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Thank you =) I am seeing this. And I should be more open-minded and apologize to all because I did come across rude, now that I'm putting myself in the others shoes. I just realized that this IS a place to come vent about a bad day, week, year, or just nursing in general. I thought about how much my Husband may really hate hearing me complain when I come home about what a bad day I had, and I may get sick of him not understanding the work I do. At least here all nurses can come together and vent, release negative energy, and others understand. I didn't realize this, until I just started thinking, and glad the though hit me. I was looking at this board VERY scared because most I read is bad, but it's just people venting. Nursing, I know, is a hard profession, and one that has to be taken seriously, with sincerity, and a dedicated passion to succeed, however, you still as much as any other career or person need to vent so you can clear your mind, and go on to work the next day feeling a bit better or get support and advice like the OP.

I'm happy I just got put in the shoes of a nurses mentality rather than being so naive and close-minded. Girls, and guys, I'm sorry. I'm SO not a mean person in ANY way lol. I'm going to go ask for forgivness now lol.

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