I think my essay is wrong??

Armygirl7 · May 15, 2012

Hi brenay--

Just sounds like you have to give the essay another revision and combine the 2 ideas. Don't just toss out the personal bits - the personal bits are what make an essay stand out. But don't ignore the actual question either since a BIG part of success in nursing school is following directions.

First paragraph start out strong in direct response "There are several reasons I will be successful if admitted to XYZ School of Nursing. First and foremost XYZ School has a reputation for excellent instruction and preparation of Registered Nurses.....(do your research and be specific) blah blah blah etc." Then bring in your personal reasons "The most important factor in my success, however, is my own determination, my organizational skills, my communication skills...my whatever (insert personal reasons here!!) blah blah blah etc etc."

Remember any essay, any cover letter, any professional email: what they are looking for is not just the content, not just the information you provide in the text but how CLEARLY you present it! Follow the simple golden rule of essay structure:

1. Say what you are going to say.

2. Say it.

3. Say it again.

Beginning, middle, and end!

Good luck!

Live.&.Learn · May 15, 2012

Go with Armygirl7's format, a strong response to start and personalizing the essay to that particular program. I would also let them know that you understand what your in for both as a student and as a nurse and that your dedicated to giving the program 110%. Keep it simple and to the point, avoid rambling and you should be good. I noticed when I applied to schools that they focused more on what we got on the TEAS exam than anything else. Good Luck to you and don't give up!!! I just started Nursing100 yesterday!!!

brenay · May 15, 2012

Hi brenay--
Just sounds like you have to give the essay another revision and combine the 2 ideas. Don't just toss out the personal bits - the personal bits are what make an essay stand out. But don't ignore the actual question either since a BIG part of success in nursing school is following directions.
First paragraph start out strong in direct response "There are several reasons I will be successful if admitted to XYZ School of Nursing. First and foremost XYZ School has a reputation for excellent instruction and preparation of Registered Nurses.....(do your research and be specific) blah blah blah etc." Then bring in your personal reasons "The most important factor in my success, however, is my own determination, my organizational skills, my communication skills...my whatever (insert personal reasons here!!) blah blah blah etc etc."
Remember any essay, any cover letter, any professional email: what they are looking for is not just the content, not just the information you provide in the text but how CLEARLY you present it! Follow the simple golden rule of essay structure:
1. Say what you are going to say.
2. Say it.
3. Say it again.
Beginning, middle, and end!
Good luck!

Wow!! Thanks for this awesome advice!!!!!!

brenay · May 15, 2012

Go with Armygirl7's format a strong response to start and personalizing the essay to that particular program. I would also let them know that you understand what your in for both as a student and as a nurse and that your dedicated to giving the program 110%. Keep it simple and to the point, avoid rambling and you should be good. I noticed when I applied to schools that they focused more on what we got on the TEAS exam than anything else. Good Luck to you and don't give up!!! I just started Nursing100 yesterday!!![/quote']
That's just it. The schools in my state do not require a TEAS exam. They just look at transcript, ACT scores, and of course an essay!!

brenay · May 15, 2012

Hi brenay--
Just sounds like you have to give the essay another revision and combine the 2 ideas. Don't just toss out the personal bits - the personal bits are what make an essay stand out. But don't ignore the actual question either since a BIG part of success in nursing school is following directions.
First paragraph start out strong in direct response "There are several reasons I will be successful if admitted to XYZ School of Nursing. First and foremost XYZ School has a reputation for excellent instruction and preparation of Registered Nurses.....(do your research and be specific) blah blah blah etc." Then bring in your personal reasons "The most important factor in my success, however, is my own determination, my organizational skills, my communication skills...my whatever (insert personal reasons here!!) blah blah blah etc etc."
Remember any essay, any cover letter, any professional email: what they are looking for is not just the content, not just the information you provide in the text but how CLEARLY you present it! Follow the simple golden rule of essay structure:
1. Say what you are going to say.
2. Say it.
3. Say it again.
Beginning, middle, and end!
Good luck!

Wait...I don't want to sound so generic. By beginning the essay with, "There are several reasons I will be successful if admitted to XYZ blah blah blah." Won't EVERYONE be starting their essay like this??

IndyElmer · May 15, 2012

I think you can still lead off with a brief personal bit (to hook their attention in a unique way that one one else will be using), transition to the specific school bit then go back to personal -- but keep focusing on how all those personal motivators/drivers are going to make you a success.

Personal tidbits (brief 'nursing inspiration' story or short list of personal qualities). (This experience / These qualities) mean I will be more than an adequate nurse; I'll be a great nurse. School XYZ is the first step in the nursing journey. Factoid 1, Factoid 2, Factoid 3 (about XYZ) mean I will have a solid foundation on which to build a career of excellence.

Then go on to talk about what it means to be a successful nurse -- what qualities do they have that you also have? Use some of your personal information from your first version as EXAMPLES of you having what it takes to be a successful nurse (and nursing student!)

It's my personal opinion that they probably aren't looking for you to only talk about your school success (e.g. I know how to make a mean deck of flashcards). I'm guessing they want to know about why you will be a successful nursing student AND perhaps more importantly, a successful nurse. If it was my essay, I would focus my energies on the NURSE part and whenever it can be done in a natural way, try to also tie the example back to nursing school. After all, nursing school will require you to work/act as a nurse during clinicals, so they aren't (on paper) that wildly different.

umbdude, MSN, APRN · May 15, 2012

The essay question sounds like they want to know why you think you can handle and succeed in the nursing program. But the traits that make you successful in the program should also lead to success in the nursing profession. If you can give specific examples of how your academic background (courses) prepares you for nursing courses and personal characteristics (responsibility, time management, communication, compassion etc.) that can support your claim then you should in great shape.

For examples, you can talk about how your success in A&P/micro set a strong foundation for studying Nursing 101 because nursing 101 requires basic knowledge of X,Y,Z drawn from A&P. Then how your personal experiences strengthen your sense of compassion and responsibility and how that can apply during the clinicals.

The reality is that nobody knows whether one will become a good nurse when you aren't a nurse yet. But there are characteristics that make you more likely to succeed (in nursing program or actual nursing), and you want to show that you have those characteristics. It also shows that you understand what nursing is all about.

As always, if you are unclear on what the essay question is asking, clarify with admissions. They're usually pretty good about telling you what they are looking for.

brenay · Jul 5, 2012

I think you can still lead off with a brief personal bit (to hook their attention in a unique way that one one else will be using), transition to the specific school bit then go back to personal -- but keep focusing on how all those personal motivators/drivers are going to make you a success.
Personal tidbits (brief 'nursing inspiration' story or short list of personal qualities). (This experience / These qualities) mean I will be more than an adequate nurse; I'll be a great nurse. School XYZ is the first step in the nursing journey. Factoid 1, Factoid 2, Factoid 3 (about XYZ) mean I will have a solid foundation on which to build a career of excellence.

Then go on to talk about what it means to be a successful nurse -- what qualities do they have that you also have? Use some of your personal information from your first version as EXAMPLES of you having what it takes to be a successful nurse (and nursing student!)
It's my personal opinion that they probably aren't looking for you to only talk about your school success (e.g. I know how to make a mean deck of flashcards). I'm guessing they want to know about why you will be a successful nursing student AND perhaps more importantly, a successful nurse. If it was my essay, I would focus my energies on the NURSE part and whenever it can be done in a natural way, try to also tie the example back to nursing school. After all, nursing school will require you to work/act as a nurse during clinicals, so they aren't (on paper) that wildly different.

LOL Thanks Indy!!! Your advice rocked!!!