I am scared and don't know what to do.... HELP PLEASE!

[ileany11]

Ok this is the thing..... I go back to school tomorrow from winter break.... well let me tell you what happened over break, i took care of my grandpa who helped raise me well he died Dec 20..... i am heartbroken to begin with but scared that when i go back to school we are clinical at a nursing home... i am scared that i am going to lose it when I get there... i have already been there before break so i know how bad some of these residents are... i am just sacred that with this still being so fresh to me... that i will break down... i have never lost someone so close to me.... i am petrified i am not going to mmake it b/c of this! what should i do? am i being silly? i still have nights that i just cry myself to sleep i miss him so much.... i just need some help or encouragement or something i dont' even know anymore! thanks in advance!

[Heather, SN]

I am so sorry for your loss. I can definately relate to your feelings and fears. My grandmother had passed away 1 week before I started nursing school and 2 months later I had my clinicals on the same unit of the hospital that she died on. I pulled my instructor aside and told her what had happened and she said just remind me not to give you a patient in the room where your grandmother passed away. My instructor was very understanding. By the end of the 6 week rotation on that floor I was brave enough to go into the room my grandmother passed away in. It was hard, but I knew it was something that I had to do.

Heather