I regret going into nursing-what should i do?

Nurses General Nursing

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I am so discouraged with this whole field. I'm starting to think I am just not cut out for this. I got a verbal offer for a CCU position at a local hospital, but they still have not reached out through email. I have been looking for a job for the past 4 months after quitting my first due to anxiety. I know this is getting religious, but at this point I'm thinking God just never wanted me to be a nurse. I've never been through so much rejection. I've seriously been rejected enough to fill at least 3 people's lifetimes. Over and over again I go through interviews just to never hear back. I've spent countless hours to commutes there, crying every day because I have no purpose in life. Are there people who simply cannot be nurses? I have never felt so discouraged. How did i make it through 4 years of nursing school? I can't help but feel like i'm being rejected over and over because this is not the right path for me. I'm only 22. I can still save myself...the thing is I want to be a nurse but I feel like nursing doesn't want me. I have never been so depressed in my life. I know I need therapy but I can't help myself without a job. Has anyone been through something similar? I feel like I wasted so much of my life on a job that does nothing but depress and upset me every day of life. Please help me.

Specializes in Operating Room, CNOR.

It took me 6 months to land my first RN job after getting my license. It's hard, I feel you. Depression and anxiety is probably coming through during your interviews. Managers love hiring people who radiate positivity and self-confidence, but if you are severely depressed, that's hard to project. Are there any resources in your state for low to no income counseling? It sounds like you could use some help.

I know therapy is expensive, but meditation is not. Try 10 minutes a day, every day, just quieting your mind and focusing on your breathing. Can't do 10 minutes? Just do 5. Are there any free community tai chi or yoga classes in your area, for moving meditation? Free youtube videos if not. Meditation might not make you feel "better" right away. It might put you in touch with hard feelings, but it helps you to be present with them and be able to function with them anyway. It's free. It's empowering, if you can't afford anything else right now. Good luck to you, it's hard out there, it's not just you!! Hugs.

Adyashanti has really helped me. Free youtube videos if you can't afford books right now. Empower yourself, you've got this!!

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Specializes in Hospice.

You asked for help so here it it, free. What you have is fear. What do you do to conquer fear? Immediate and consistent action. What you don't have is a plan. Here is one that works. Every time.

First, go to www.kencoleman.com. Review the website. Listen to the Ken Coleman Show podcast, it is free. Ken is the country's leading authority on how to find a job. Go to the public library and order his book the Proximity Principle, it is free.

The way the Proximity Principle works is that you have to find the place where people are doing what you want to do and associate with them. Then you have to find people that can help you get into the position that you want. Just Saturday a total stranger called me and said that somebody gave her my name and number and told her that she should call me and ask if we had any positions open. I was not offended, I was impressed this person would call me and ask. She must be a go getter! But even better is finding someone that can walk your resume into a hiring manager and recommend you. You are no longer on the bottom of a stack of resumes at that point, you are in the hands of the hiring manager or recruiter. Getting seen is the goal. Who do you know that works where you want to work? Who do you know that knows someone that works where you want to work? Most people want to help other people. You just want information. You are not asking for a job. I just helped a friend get her daughter's resume into the hands of a recruiter. I have not even started work at my new job but I was comfortable enough to send her resume to the recruiter. Recruiters and hiring managers want to hire people for the positions they have open. You are not a burden to them, you are what they seek. Join church or other job hunting groups. I did this even when I knew I could easily get a job. Talking about what you are doing to find a job is a great encourager. You also may make some great contacts. You may also get an accountability partner out of it. Okay, there is your plan. Ready, Set, Go!

When my wife and I graduated from nursing school I immediately got a job working at the one and only hospital in town. My soon to be wife wanted L&D but did not get hired. She missed the hiring deadline for graduate nurses. She took a job at a local nursing home and hated every minute of it. We thought we were captured by where we lived. Then one day I decided that I wanted to live on the coast and work for a big hospital in a big town. I sent out about a 100 letters (no internet back then!) and I got back 52 offers of employment! Even more interesting my wife got her dream job! Just because where you are doesn't work doesn't mean you are doomed (double negative intended.) You got to get to where you can do what you want to do. Come to Memphis, TN, we have 100s of RN jobs that need to be filled!

Nothing in your original post led me to believe that you are in financial distress. But if money is a concern then go back to the library and get a copy of Dave Ramsey's "Total Money Makeover." Get your financial house in order. Find Financial Peace.

So what is the biggest killer of the plan? Procrastination! Go back to the library and get a copy of "No Excuses!" by Brian Tracey.

You have a new job! Your job is to find the position you want and go after it. Eat! Sleep! Exercise! Pray! Meditate! And Work like no other so you can get that position you want!

Ready, Set, Go!

1
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Specializes in retire-numerous.

Life and Nursing is not going to get any easier--if this is your thought/attitude--get out now--it may sound harsh but as you portray yourself, in your post, as a negative person, I would not want you as a co-worker and perhaps this comes across in your interviews. Any potential employer does not want to take you on as there are too many people out there to choose from--sorry to be blunt

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Specializes in Operating Room, CNOR.
24 minutes ago, hannahgb said:

Life and Nursing is not going to get any easier--if this is your thought/attitude--get out now--it may sound harsh but as you portray yourself, in your post, as a negative person, I would not want you as a co-worker and perhaps this comes across in your interviews. Any potential employer does not want to take you on as there are too many people out there to choose from--sorry to be blunt

3 gates: is it true, is it KIND, and does it need to be said? "I would not want you as a co-worker"... can you think of a kinder way you could have said that? Our OP is clearly severely down. Not the best time to kick someone. Of course we would all rather have our co-workers be pleasant and up-beat, but right now one of our own needs us and needs some support, not for us to feed her demons.

OP, don't take that post to heart. Either that person hasn't been where you are, or can't accept that part of themselves, or doesn't remember what it's like. You have a lot to offer even if your depression isn't letting you see it right now. 22 is freaking HARD. It does get easier but you have to put in the work, so dig deep and take some of the good advice some people have offered here.

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Specializes in Quality Management.

Congratulations on earning your BSN! Nursing school is not for punks!!!

Your frustration and dissatisfaction are understandable. But, don't give up. You need a mentor. Find a mentor. They will help you with your resume, interview techniques, and navigating the curves of the profession.

How do you find a mentor?

Reach out to one of your former nursing professors.

Join a professional nurses organization and request a mentor. (i.e. ANA and your state nursing association)

Reach out to former classmates and meet for lunch. Find out what has worked for them and, if you feel comfortable, share some of your experiences. They might have some valuable advice.

Join linked in and search for nurse mentors.

You will find your niche and excel. Stayed prayed up and keep looking up. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help. Proud of you for reaching out.

God's peace and blessings.

Janice F

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Specializes in retire-numerous.

@Skydancer

Yes it needs to be said--I said it was blunt--the world and especially nursing, is not all sweetness and nice--22 is hard, so is 32-42-52-62-72 etc. Yes I've been through crappy nursing jobs with just as many crappy managers and people who don't care--Move on--grow up be the best that you can be for yourself--

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On 1/17/2020 at 12:21 PM, Been there,done that said:

Many new grads have a hard time landing their first position. In can take months to expect an interview response. Did you follow up? You could just be lost in the HR maze.

Continue with your search. Think outside the box as to what a BSN can do for you. You don't have to start in a hospital.

Thank you for commenting! I actually just got offered another position I'm really excited about! They took awhile to get back to me, but I'm glad my hunt is over. I have 3 different offers and now I just have to decide which

On 1/17/2020 at 12:23 PM, MemphisRN said:

I think you also need to look at finding a job outside of your area. Are you in CA? Just a few minutes ago I was reading about how difficult it is to get a job in CA. I was floored! I know here in CA hospitals would be tripping over themselves to get you in there programs! Search for nurse residency programs in other states. TN, GA, FL are all states that have a severe nurse shortage.

I was having such a hard time, but now all the sudden I found myself with 3 different offers! I'm very excited about them, and now i won't have to relocate if i don't want to ? thank you for commenting!

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On 1/18/2020 at 6:56 PM, TriciaJ said:

Your whole post has a beaten dog feel to it. Your feelings of worthlessness and discouragement may be coming through in interviews. It's way too early to be so fatalistic about whether you were meant to be a nurse.

I think part of the problem is your generation. Not your fault. You may have had an upbringing and education where your feelings were considered to be of major importance. Now they aren't. That can be discombobulating at first, along with finishing school and transitioning to an adult world.

If you finished nursing school and passed NCLEX that is your first clue that you are a capable person. You've started by applying to hospitals and discovered that the hiring wheels of HR turn very slowly. Start thinking outside that box:

Are you willing to move to another location? Any friends or relatives in another part of the country to make the transition a bit easier? Willing to try long term care? Shot clinics?

It's okay if life is a bit hard right now, you can handle hard things and you will get better and better at it. So take a breath. If you are finding your discouragement and anxiety to be immobilizing, a few sessions with a sharp therapist should get you thinking more clearly again. Hang in there and keep us posted.

I think a lot of my problem was not depression coming through, but anxiety. I get very awkward and my voice shakes SO much...recently i got 3 different job offers so I think my search is over! i just have to decide. Thank you so much for commenting I appreciate it a lot ?

On 1/18/2020 at 7:28 PM, OliveG said:

Hey there. I am sorry for what you are going through. I am not a nurse, so I can't advise you on that front, but I understand some of your feelings and want to give you some resources to help you emotionally.

Hope I am not breaking any rules to suggest https://www.7cups.com/ for free counseling and people to talk to. I've have yet to try out the therapist part, but I've talked to kind people. Sometimes just having a caring ear makes a dent in your sadness. Even if it only makes you feel half a percent better, thats something.

Another suggestion, you might see if your local college has anything. The one in my town offers free therapy and/or a sliding scale to the public.

Doing a simple google search for "therapists offering free counseling" I found a good looking website, https://www.opencounseling.com/ . My psychologist sister tells me that therapists do usually reserve a space or two for clients who can't afford their services. She herself had free therapy for years at one point!

If I were you I would be thinking in this order:

1. FIND FREE THERAPY

2. Get emotionally stable.

3. Think about nursing.

Take note- the school you went to saw something in you. They wouldn't have accepted you into a rigorous program if they didn't. I would get my head right before making any life changing decisions like saying I am not cut out for nursing.

You will get through this. I've been in dark places myself and I've gotten out each time. You will too.

thank you for letting me know about the resources! I will be sure to look further into it. I appreciate your comment so much thank you ?

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On 1/18/2020 at 8:07 PM, Mergirlc said:

Many years ago, I applied to a job (non-healthcare) in a February, didn't get the first call until July, finally reached the HR lady to get interviewed in mid-August and got hired in November! HR can be as slow as a sloth! I hope this type of timeline doesn't happen to you, but just to show you that getting a job can sometimes be a slow process.

I know you're down. I can feel it oozing from your post. Take a deep breath and regroup. I'm also going to agree w/ others, perhaps some counseling to talk things through might be a good plan right now. You need to have your head on straight when that job finally comes through!

You can do this!

yes, i recently got offered 3 positions at the same time (from different hospitals). 1 position I interviewed for 2 months ago and they JUST got back to me

On 1/19/2020 at 8:41 PM, skydancer7 said:

It took me 6 months to land my first RN job after getting my license. It's hard, I feel you. Depression and anxiety is probably coming through during your interviews. Managers love hiring people who radiate positivity and self-confidence, but if you are severely depressed, that's hard to project. Are there any resources in your state for low to no income counseling? It sounds like you could use some help.

I know therapy is expensive, but meditation is not. Try 10 minutes a day, every day, just quieting your mind and focusing on your breathing. Can't do 10 minutes? Just do 5. Are there any free community tai chi or yoga classes in your area, for moving meditation? Free youtube videos if not. Meditation might not make you feel "better" right away. It might put you in touch with hard feelings, but it helps you to be present with them and be able to function with them anyway. It's free. It's empowering, if you can't afford anything else right now. Good luck to you, it's hard out there, it's not just you!! Hugs.

Adyashanti has really helped me. Free youtube videos if you can't afford books right now. Empower yourself, you've got this!!

thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to try to help me. I appreciate you so much!

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On 1/20/2020 at 7:40 AM, MemphisRN said:

You asked for help so here it it, free. What you have is fear. What do you do to conquer fear? Immediate and consistent action. What you don't have is a plan. Here is one that works. Every time.

First, go to www.kencoleman.com. Review the website. Listen to the Ken Coleman Show podcast, it is free. Ken is the country's leading authority on how to find a job. Go to the public library and order his book the Proximity Principle, it is free.

The way the Proximity Principle works is that you have to find the place where people are doing what you want to do and associate with them. Then you have to find people that can help you get into the position that you want. Just Saturday a total stranger called me and said that somebody gave her my name and number and told her that she should call me and ask if we had any positions open. I was not offended, I was impressed this person would call me and ask. She must be a go getter! But even better is finding someone that can walk your resume into a hiring manager and recommend you. You are no longer on the bottom of a stack of resumes at that point, you are in the hands of the hiring manager or recruiter. Getting seen is the goal. Who do you know that works where you want to work? Who do you know that knows someone that works where you want to work? Most people want to help other people. You just want information. You are not asking for a job. I just helped a friend get her daughter's resume into the hands of a recruiter. I have not even started work at my new job but I was comfortable enough to send her resume to the recruiter. Recruiters and hiring managers want to hire people for the positions they have open. You are not a burden to them, you are what they seek. Join church or other job hunting groups. I did this even when I knew I could easily get a job. Talking about what you are doing to find a job is a great encourager. You also may make some great contacts. You may also get an accountability partner out of it. Okay, there is your plan. Ready, Set, Go!

When my wife and I graduated from nursing school I immediately got a job working at the one and only hospital in town. My soon to be wife wanted L&D but did not get hired. She missed the hiring deadline for graduate nurses. She took a job at a local nursing home and hated every minute of it. We thought we were captured by where we lived. Then one day I decided that I wanted to live on the coast and work for a big hospital in a big town. I sent out about a 100 letters (no internet back then!) and I got back 52 offers of employment! Even more interesting my wife got her dream job! Just because where you are doesn't work doesn't mean you are doomed (double negative intended.) You got to get to where you can do what you want to do. Come to Memphis, TN, we have 100s of RN jobs that need to be filled!

Nothing in your original post led me to believe that you are in financial distress. But if money is a concern then go back to the library and get a copy of Dave Ramsey's "Total Money Makeover." Get your financial house in order. Find Financial Peace.

So what is the biggest killer of the plan? Procrastination! Go back to the library and get a copy of "No Excuses!" by Brian Tracey.

You have a new job! Your job is to find the position you want and go after it. Eat! Sleep! Exercise! Pray! Meditate! And Work like no other so you can get that position you want!

Ready, Set, Go!

Wow, thank you so much for your advice!! Thank God I recently got offered 3 different positions so the search is over for me. I appreciate your comment so much it really made my day. I am definitely going to therapy once i start my new job (whichever i choose) bc if there's anything this experience taught me, it's that I need help

1
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On 1/20/2020 at 1:09 PM, hannahgb said:

Life and Nursing is not going to get any easier--if this is your thought/attitude--get out now--it may sound harsh but as you portray yourself, in your post, as a negative person, I would not want you as a co-worker and perhaps this comes across in your interviews. Any potential employer does not want to take you on as there are too many people out there to choose from--sorry to be blunt

I'm actually a very positive person naturally, but because I have become depressed, my thoughts have become more negative. I appreciate your input but I do not agree with you in terms of being a "bad co-worker." I'm a very nice person and I always try to help when I can.

I suggest you read this article: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/difference-between-blunt-rude ?

On 1/20/2020 at 1:33 PM, skydancer7 said:

3 gates: is it true, is it KIND, and does it need to be said? "I would not want you as a co-worker"... can you think of a kinder way you could have said that? Our OP is clearly severely down. Not the best time to kick someone. Of course we would all rather have our co-workers be pleasant and up-beat, but right now one of our own needs us and needs some support, not for us to feed her demons.

OP, don't take that post to heart. Either that person hasn't been where you are, or can't accept that part of themselves, or doesn't remember what it's like. You have a lot to offer even if your depression isn't letting you see it right now. 22 is freaking HARD. It does get easier but you have to put in the work, so dig deep and take some of the good advice some people have offered here.

Thank you for defending me! I appreciate you more than you know ?

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On 1/20/2020 at 1:34 PM, Janice F said:

Congratulations on earning your BSN! Nursing school is not for punks!!!

Your frustration and dissatisfaction are understandable. But, don't give up. You need a mentor. Find a mentor. They will help you with your resume, interview techniques, and navigating the curves of the profession.

How do you find a mentor?

Reach out to one of your former nursing professors.

Join a professional nurses organization and request a mentor. (i.e. ANA and your state nursing association)

Reach out to former classmates and meet for lunch. Find out what has worked for them and, if you feel comfortable, share some of your experiences. They might have some valuable advice.

Join linked in and search for nurse mentors.

You will find your niche and excel. Stayed prayed up and keep looking up. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help. Proud of you for reaching out.

God's peace and blessings.

Janice F

Thank you, Janice! I appreciate your advice ? Makes me feel better that there are nurses who genuinelly mean well

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