I put my foot in my mouth.

[Yodalady79, BSN]

I recently accepted a job as an ANM. I was an ANM at another facility. Despite my prior experience, I am still learning the facility. I started there in July of this year. I have been a RN for 10 years in May.

My nurse manager told me to talk less because it can be used against me. I get that. I am trying to be myself (although a bit more of a quieter, more observant persom). I try to think before I say anything.

Why did I go to a meeting with a room full of managers and ask if the purpose of the group was for just a lot of talking with no action or if they did research, executed their findings, and reassessed in regards to evidence based practice for nursing? The group leader mentioned shared governance which was actually a group where presenters talk on management issues. The Unit Practice Council does the evidence based practice (found that out).

I remember reverting back to an old habit of thinking out loud as I spoke. It was not a good look. I apologized to the leader of the group for my poor wording, telling her I was very new to the facility and role. Not an excuse, I know. I did want to take ownership for that though.

I beat myself up for not being better at communication than I am. I wonder why it does not come more naturally. I am going to have to put this behind me as a learning experience and move forward.

I am not looking for false reassurance. I just wonder if I am alone in feeling this way.

[SummerGarden, BSN, MSN, RN]

Yolanda, we all have our strengths and weaknesses. I have worked in several ANM positions within the same organization. Every facility is different and every culture within a facility is different. With that said, you can grow from this if you are open to the constructive criticism (you have written as if you are) and you actively work to change. Otherwise, you will "put your foot in your mouth" more often than not.

By the way, shared governance is not the group you described. However, you are not alone in this... I work for a facility within an organization that has a shared governance committee made up of executives and senior leaders and does not contain any frontline nursing staff members... So, I say good luck to them, to myself and not out loud. ?

[brownbook]

A mental trick that helps me when I might talk to much, for any variety of reasons, is to think; "there's a microphone recording this conversation". It helps me chose my words more carefully and mandates that I listen more carefully .......so I know my well thought out response is addressing the issue.

[JRT1, MSN, RN]

I think we have all had these moments haha. I think its challenging when going to different organizations in leadership roles. I have done this 3 times now. Went from being in a manager role to a director role at a new organization and then to a manager at another organization and then back to being a manager at yet another organization ( I am not a job hopper I promise haha).

Every culture is different and those you report to are different. The director I work for currently doesn't really care what I do as long as my quality and tasks are completed. The last organization I worked for was very different and the director wanted to be involved in everything I do...which was exhausting by the way. As a director I was more of a "Im here if you need me" type of leader.

I wouldn't let someone stop you from speaking your mind, however. Thats how we get into a group think mentality. I would recommend you seek constructive feedback though which it sounds like you did. While you want to express your opinions you want to do it in a respectful way. Its easy to get caught up in a "this is how we did it at my old facility" conversation which doesn't usually go over very well. But if you say something like, "I have done it like this in the past and it seemed to work well, what do you guys think?" that typically goes over better. Its all about how you present your thoughts to get the perception you are hoping for.

Good luck!!! Communication is definitely a challenge.

[Glycerine82, LPN]

On 12/4/2019 at 10:12 PM, Yodalady79 said:

This isn't a habit for me, it's just how I communicate. Its how I process and although I've had people tell me to talk less, usually the people I am talking to find me endearing and genuine.

You are who you are, just go with it. If you can't be true to your personality and method of communication you're the wrong fit.

[Orca, ADN, ASN, RN]

One thing that you will learn very quickly in management is that speaking your mind openly can be deadly to your career. There are venues that are appropriate for open expression, but the meeting that you described isn't one of them. You're the new kid on the block, and you are immediately asking them if they are convening meetings for no good reason. Not a good look. Instead of injecting implied value judgments into the question, I would have said something like, "I'm new here. What are the main goals of this group?"