first of all, i would like to start out by letting everyone know that thursday march 19th, 2009 i did take my nclex-rn for the 6th time and on march 21, 2009 @ 8:00 am in the morning i found out that i passed!!!!!!!
my journey began last december 15th, 2007 is the day that i graduated from a very tough nursing school and it was a joyous day of my life. keep in mind i had no breaks from nursing school, pushed to the max and really needed a break but there was no way that i was going to get one. on monday december 17-21 i signed up for a kaplan review for $379.00 and then after this i was faced with getting ready for the christmas holiday and shopping, christmas parties etc. keep in mind i have a husband and four teenagers that are very close in age. i prepared as best as i could with the holidays not knowing alot about the nclex exam, i studied but my attitude at the time was i got through nursing school and prepared as best as i could during this tough time. an attitude that i had which is not a good attitude is i'll sign up and take the nclex and whatever happens, happens. this is not a good attitude to have!!!!!! the setbacks that we have are not all bad because sometimes it's god's way of getting our attention to shake us up and opening our eyes to him. i know i was not well rested and felt like a tumble weed rolling around and probably not retaining anything. if i would take 1 day off i couldn't remember how to break down the questions, not good! my friend told me you know the information "get back up on that horse and get in the saddle." basically, get studying because you can do this!!!!!
it was february 15th 2008 when i sat for my first nclex-rn exam very overwhelmed, fear sat in and i just didn't know what to expect. i did not know at the time but i had a computer gliche and had to wait 6 agonizing days to find out the results. on february 21st i paid $7.95 for quick results and i had failed with 126 questions. i was an emotional wreck but i know lots of nurses and they live in my community. i would also run into them at the store but i could not keep hold of myself and just cried trying to evaluate what had happened. i knew that i had to bounce back didn't know how i was going to do this so i got a tutor for $75 an hour. also i was working as an extern so i also had to tell my manager that i did not pass, and this made me very uneasy for the fact of not knowing if i could keep doing this role at work. prepared again studying but still not know how strict and consistent your study plan must be! this time i was trying to figure out if it was content or what the actual problem was but it's also very hard to do. i did struggle with test taking and had a hunch that this may be where the problem was still not knowing what to do. it's very hard to be supportive especially family, friends, relatives because they do not know what this exam entails!!!!!!! stay away from negative people while going through this process!!!!!!! by now the majority of my class had passed and was moving on but i had a good friend that i talked to everyday because she was my support to keep me on track. each and everyone of you need this, this is especially important.
prepared again to sit for nclex still not knowing what to do and april 30th, 2008 was my test date again at the same center 20 minutes from my home and it was a small place on the 3rd floor of this business building and if a fire siren went off, you would hear it no matter if you had earplugs in or not. it just was not comfortable to me but how was i to know. i had 79 questions this time and on may 2nd i was able to pay $7.95 for quick results again and am thankful for quick results! but found out that i failed again very hard for me to understand emtionally but still working i had to work as an snt and had to tell the manager again.
i probably should have called in but i'm the type that does not miss work unless i have a family crisis or funeral.
i was a mess cried all day and do not know how i did my job. vividly, i remember that i got pulled into my manager's office at 2:30 pm and she let me know that i could no longer work with my preceptor and had to function in the role of an snt (cna) and work 3rd shift at that. i told them i felt demoted and my self esteem just went down the tubes. what a day to do this.
emotionally a wreck not knowing how i was going to get my studies in if i was working nights because i would lose at least 2 days just to sleep and for nclex you need to be well rested functioning at the highest level possible.
i met with my tutor $75 an hour and i think she saw that i was not at my highest level of functioning due to being exhausted, mentally and physically! for me, working got in the way i was suppose to be thinking for the nclex and hindered my learning abilities:cry: i am not saying to go and quit your job but you better evaluate what type of person you are and also what kind of test taker you are!!!!!! i was not a very good test taker but does this mean you cannot pass nclex? absolutely not!!!!!!! this makes you a stronger person and you want to fight all the more. any degree worthwhile is not going to be easy and you will fight for it but after you achieve your goal you will reap in the benefits! i isolated myself away from the world out of shame but believe me i know how to work a clinical floor!!!!! my setback was the nclex-rn "how was i going to do this?":uhoh3: in the beginning i did not understand the importance of consistency and doing at least 100 questions a day. in may i signed up for another kaplan review $379 because i was trying to figure out how to get free tutoring and still have the resources that i needed. i'm sure it laid a good foundation but did not do it for me. i should have have asked for my $379 back the 1st time but kept it so i could have the online sources, not good. i had already seen the questions so my results were scewed. not good!!!!!
the questions were the exact same as the first time. i am not knocking reviews but i am explaining what i went through to help save others a huge expense. i had no idea how to prepare for this exam. my friend suggested that i get on this website because when she had nursing issues this website allnurses.com would pop up. i pondered the idea and said well "it's free" i cannot lose anything, surfed the sight many times before actually signing up for it but found support and many people going through the exact same thing as i was going through. you have support 24/7 and you need to understand the majority of my friends had already passed, so i needed this kind of support.
it is now july 16th, 2008 here i go again sitting for my nclex-rn and my thought the more you sit and prepare the more comfortable you will be. guess what? i received 265 questions took my breaks, mentally and physically drained and i test for 8.5 hours too long!!!! i personally changed things up every time. i also chose another testing center because bad vibes at the other center and found one 1 1/2 hours away. well, it's july 18th, 2008 and time to pay another $7.95 for quick results and my outcome this time was fail!!! i had to change things up again and reach out for help so i contacted a faculty member at my college of nursing and i worked with her and she also kept me on track for "free." but during these times it drew me closer to god strengthening my faith! my family had a hard time understanding "why" i was going through this because it causes lots of stress on the home environment and quite honestly they knew i worked my ---off. they did not like seeing me emotionally drained and hurt! the year 2008 was an emotional roller coaster. but does this stop me? do not think this or let people bring you down it's only a test and it can be mastered. it wasn't a terminal illness, just a test that's new every time you sit for it.
it's now september 16th, 2008 and you have guessed it sitting for the nclex-rn again after preparing and changing up again what i was doing as far as my study plans. i was more relaxed at the the sitting and chose the center 1 1/2 hours away and liked the location and the fact that the center was in the basement of this executive building and the environment was quiet.:redpinkhe the people were very nice also and that means alot to me. i made sure to space my breaks and take them because you need them!!!!!
in the beginning i did not know what we could or could not do at the testing center.
another $7.95 for quick results on september 18th, 2008 but again am thankful for that. took the exam in 4 hours and my results read failed. i realized that what i was doing was not working, time to change up your studying again. i did a plan which i would rather not mention which again laid a good foundation but did not do it.
here it is december 18th, 2008 3 days after i had graduated in 2007 omg i have been out of college for 1 full year, this went fast! well on the 18th i sat again for my nclex-rn wanting my license for my christmas gift under the :tree:i had been going to the library 6 days a week and it was closed on sundays so i studied at home. december 20th came fast and yes time to pay $7.95 for quick results this time 100 questions and my results failed. i was talking to someone who recommended hurst review which was $300 but i really liked their guarantee because if you were not successful you could receive everything again for $75 which you get for 3 months. i had bought a review book a while ago and it had a cd with it so i put it into my computer, listened to marlene hurst and i personally just connected with what she was saying. so after the recommendation from a friend i had a very strict study schedule went to the library and treated it like my full time job and i had a different mindset. i was getting caught up on my sleep (which i needed) eating a good breakfast and bought the jillian michels 30 day shred workout tape for $9 and it was only 20 minutes which i realized had to be incorporated with my studies to increase my energy stores. i really learned alot about myself personally and learned to trust and put my faith into god!
i am not writing this for self pity but i want to share what i have been through to get to where i am today. yes, lots of setbacks and huge bumps in the road. god was just challenging me huge. i was preparing for the next time and had some great friends that i went to nursing school with they were hispanic girls whom i've always admired and adored the girls and their family. i always felt very welcomed in their home and at peace. the entire family was a great inspiration to me because their father was also an rn and i respected him very much!!! i've always had the utmost respect for the girls, their father,their mother and entire family. they went to a catholic church religiously and they just helped me to grow and sort out "why" this was happening to me. they were very much a part of my support system which i needed very much. i personally did not have the support of my mother, my younger sister and my father was deceased at the age of 59 whom i was very close to. i had the support of my older sister who was encouraging also. this also helped me to keep things in perspective. if you haven't figured out i am a very motivated, determined and compassionate person which i had the drive to achieve my goal, my dream one way or another and knew it would not be easy. i knew i wanted to take the nclex-rn originally signed up for february 19th, was not done with my studies so i pushed the date to march 19, 2009. the friends that i described earlier their mother said if i needed someone to drive me down to the testing center 1 1/2 hours so i could relax she would. so i called her in february and asked if she was available that day and she told me in the catholic faith that it was thesis day which was a day that was huge in their family and she stated, "i would be honored to take you!". basically, it was a day where each and every one of them would do something nice for someone else. so the mother replied, "this is perfect, this will be a great day!" i was driven to the testing center arrived at 7:25am went to the restroom got checked in read the rules again for the 6th time i probably had them memorized by now but read them again. i believe i was #2 in line selected locker #10 put everything in the locker and escorted to the back where i was fingerprinted again to go into the testing environment. started my exam at 7:37am 1st question popped up, 2nd question was a priority question i've never had this happen to me before! took my first break at 8:25am was at question #18 got something to eat because i was feeling hungry and i took a lunch because when you're thinking at high levels it takes alot of energy which needs to be replinished so i had plenty of protein in my lunch bag went to the restroom and went back to testing. lots of priority etc. took another break an hour later don't remember where i was but mentally needed this break got up stretched, got something to drink, restroom breaks etc. i even did jumping jacks in the restroom, whatever it takes went back sat down kept getiing priority and low and behold before i knew it at 10:14am my computer shut off at 75! (never happened to me before!) and my computer screen was blue when it shut off!!!!!!!! the other times i took the exam and my computer shut off my screen was gray. i'm not saying this is any prediction whether you "pass" or "fail" but pay attention to your screen.
march 21st, 2009 has arrived and on friday i went to lunch with my sister who helped take my mind off of waiting. i logged into pearsonvue on friday evening which i wanted everything on saturday to run smoothly as far as logging on i didn't want anything to get in the way of me finding out my quick results. checked at 7:30am results were not up but by 8:00am sharp the results were posted. i get signed in and get my credit card for the 6th time my youngest son who's 14 and three of his friends anxiously waiting for the results. my husband was in the family room sitting on the couch looking out the window in fear. the last time i made him look because i could not bring myself to see another fail. my hand was literally shaking but knew in my heart i had to be the one to do this. after typing in all of the information the next button popped up to take me to the next screen i just stared at it but after a couple of seconds i touched the enter button and up came the results i have earned and worked very hard for "pass." tears of joy flooded my kitchen my sons faces full of tears, i had tears of joy out of disbelief printed my results off 50 times and left that screen up on my computer for the majority of the day. my husband came running into the kitchen to look at my computer screen, wrapped his arms around me for the biggest hug ever.:icon_hug:(((((hugs!!!!!))))) my family knew i worked very hard for my dream to be a rn. as of march 21,2009, i am an official rn!
debbie rn,bsn
