I need support

[Skits]

Hi, I'm new here, and I'm sure this topic has been discussed before, but I really need advice or someone to tell me things will get better.

I graduated in December of 07. I got a job on a med surg floor. My manager is wonderful, and the people there are okay.

Yesterday at work I broke down (in a private area) and started crying my eyes out. I am so overwhelmed with everything that needs to be done. I had 4 patients, 1 discharge and 2 admits. I was working an 8 hour shift, which to me is more stressful than a 12 because you have that extra four hours to get stuff done. My preceptor is just OK. She reprimanded me several times in the nurses station in front of everyone, and yesterday she yelled at me for getting upset and walking away from her. I just didn't want to talk about what was wrong, I needed a couple of minutes to get myself together-privately.

I didn't get to eat lunch, I was hungry, and as a smoker, I was having a nicotine fit. I know I'm not always going to get the chance to get outside and smoke, my patients are more important, but don't I get a break? As a new nurse, I love my patients. I want to be there for them!!! It kills me that I have to cut them off in mid sentence and run to do paperwork for an admit! I feel like a secretary! I'm so exhausted on my days off that all I do is sleep.

Yeah I know- quit complaining. I have a wonderful job, I make decent money, and people would kill to be in a profession that is in demand. Right now I just feel like nursing is something completely different than what I learned in school. I feel like I made the wrong move. I wake up everyday and go to work wondering what life I am going to save next or who am I going to have an impact on. I have so many mixed emotions.

Suggestions?

[NotReady4PrimeTime, RN]

You're right, there are lots of similar threads here. You really aren't the only one who feels the way you're feeling.

https://allnurses.com/forums/f224/help-i-think-i-hate-nursing-288840.html

https://allnurses.com/forums/f224/disastrous-new-grad-orientation-309150.html

https://allnurses.com/forums/f224/pessimistic-thread-alert-lpn-still-hates-job-308659.html

https://allnurses.com/forums/f224/new-grad-doesn-t-like-new-job-295583.html

https://allnurses.com/forums/f224/my-confidence-shot-need-help-overcoming-fear-307164.html

These threads have all had new posts in the last few days. There are many more, older threads, but I think if you read these, you'll find what you seek.

[BlueEyedRN]

There were a lot of nights my first year when I would come home and cry to my husband for two hours. It's insanely overwhelming and very frustrating dealing with other people who are very stressed out themselves. It does get better though. Your preceptor should definitely not be reprimanding you, but life will be much better once you are on your own. It is scarier, but at least you can do it your own way and not have someone standing over you judging you and can go to those you really trust and respect when you have questions. Take breaks. Your patients will survive. It seems impossible to do so sometimes, but unless they are actively trying to die, you can take some time to take care of yourself.

[racing-mom4, BSN, RN]

Wear a nicotine patch to work---may seem like a simple thing, but trust me it will help.

Also give yourself a break, it is hard esp the 1st year (from what I have been told) I too Graduated in Dec 07.

I agree 12 hours is way better than 8.

On your days off try to do something physical outside, since it has warmed up I find myself at the city pool with the kids or the bike path with the kids and dog and I just feel so much better and refreshed.

You worked hard to get through nursing school, you passed your boards, you got a job---all major events that deserve to be rewarded, so reward yourself!!!! On your days off do something special just for you.

Good luck!!!

[Virgo_RN, BSN, RN]

What you are going through is common. It's called "reality shock", and it's something that most new grads deal with during the transition from student to professional nurse. Believe me, it gets better! You can always come here to vent!