I need positive vibes

chadprepton, ADN · Oct 19

I'll be honest. No one can just make you feel better about this. It sucks. But if you need a positive story then I'd say I've had my license suspended. Yes. Completely suspended. I got it back. I did what was asked of me and I'm now in a leadership position. This will take time. But if I can deal with what happened to me, you got this.

Helenalsephinacat · Oct 19

chadprepton said:

I'll be honest. No one can just make you feel better about this. It sucks. But if you need a positive story then I'd say I've had my license suspended. Yes. Completely suspended. I got it back. I did what was asked of me and I'm now in a leadership position. This will take time. But if I can deal with what happened to me, you got this.

I'm so sorry! But I'm happy you got it back and are working again! I guess I'm just still so angry and it's so hard to try and let go of that feeling, but I'm learning. My states program isn't as rigorous as others on here that I've seen so I'm also thankful for that along with being able stay on my night shift since my job did actually keep me. It's just the pretending to be something that I'm not because I'm forced to part is what kills me.

Healer555 · Oct 19

By pretending to be something you're not. Do you mean an addict? What makes you feel you have to pretend to be an addict?

I and many others are stuck in this without a sud. It's awful. I Don't pretend to be an addict. I watch the meetings we are forced to attend on Zoom. I never speak at them. I check off everything I am compelled to do and the only thing I get out of it is retaining mY license . It's infuriating. I hate every second of this but time is passing though slowly. I can't wait to get my life back.

On the bright side you got less than 3 years.

Helenalsephinacat · Oct 19

Healer555 said:

By pretending to be something you're not. Do you mean an addict? What makes you feel you have to pretend to be an addict?

I and many others are stuck in this without a sud. It's awful. I Don't pretend to be an addict. I watch the meetings we are forced to attend on Zoom. I never speak at them. I check off everything I am compelled to do and the only thing I get out of it is retaining mY license . It's infuriating. I hate every second of this but time is passing though slowly. I can't wait to get my life back.

On the bright side you got less than 3 years.

Because anytime I said I didn't have a drinking issue, I would just get told that I'm "in denial" and if my drinking wasn't a problem then there wouldn't of been a "negative consequence". They lose their minds if I don't call myself an alcoholic. I go to AA meetings and stuff too, and I learned a lot about myself through them (they're not required here & you don't need "proof" either but I like to go atleast once per week since it helps at my quarterly meetings & the friends I've made at the AA meetings keep me somewhat sane through this). I also just feel like the amount of time they require people to be in these monitoring programs are insane. Whether it's just 2 years, 3 years and especially 5 years. For diverting and those who truly want/need the help I can understand. It's also not so much the inability to drink that bothers me, my husband and I are trying for kids atm anyway, but I hate feeling like less of a person and a nurse. Like I'm just a number to them and not even a human being. A lot of individuals mental health takes a *** on here from these programs from what I've observed on the threads. I'm doing what I have to do and trying not to pay attention too much of the time I have left, because that'll make it drag and more dreadful tbh LOL

Nursinggirl17 · Oct 19

Many of us don't have a SUD but here we are. It's tough and aggravating.. I see u have two years. I had two years as well I have two weeks left. U will get through this ♥️

Healer555 · Oct 19

Helenalsephinacat said:

Because anytime I said I didn't have a drinking issue, I would just get told that I'm "in denial" and if my drinking wasn't a problem then there wouldn't of been a "negative consequence". They lose their minds if I don't call myself an alcoholic. I go to AA meetings and stuff too, and I learned a lot about myself through them (they're not required here & you don't need "proof" either but I like to go atleast once per week since it helps at my quarterly meetings & the friends I've made at the AA meetings keep me somewhat sane through this). I also just feel like the amount of time they require people to be in these monitoring programs are insane. Whether it's just 2 years, 3 years and especially 5 years. For diverting and those who truly want/need the help I can understand. It's also not so much the inability to drink that bothers me, my husband and I are trying for kids atm anyway, but I hate feeling like less of a person and a nurse. Like I'm just a number to them and not even a human being. A lot of individuals mental health takes a *** on here from these programs from what I've observed on the threads. I'm doing what I have to do and trying not to pay attention too much of the time I have left, because that'll make it drag and more dreadful tbh LOL

Who is the they that would lose their minds if you don't say you are an alcoholic? I guess that's the only easier thing for me is that I don't have to pretend. I completely understand about not wanting to add more time. I'd pretend to have a SUD any day of the week to avoid time added. I get absolutely nothing out of the AA meetings, a total waste of my time.