I Need Help

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Get ready...this may be a long post.  I need and want help for alcohol addiction.  I had bariatric surgery 5 years ago and have basically traded in one addiction for another.  Things have progressively gotten worse over the past year.  I am a school nurse and we were home for several months due to Covid and in the meantime, I lost my father with whom I was very close.  I've been a nurse for 14 years and a school nurse for 2.  I do not think I can stop drinking on my own.  At the very least, I need medical detox...I experience withdrawal all day during my work hours.  So much so, that I start my morning (before work) with a drink to hold off the shakes.  SO the big question is...if I want to go to rehab, do I have to disclose it?? I could totally do it over Summer break, in another city.  I've read horror stories about TPAPN and I don't want to lose my job.  This is my dream job. I have 3 children and keeping their schedule is so amazing, as well as a decent salary with a great pension.  I've never been arrested or accused of anything and as far as I know, nobody knows that I have this problem.  I am fully capable of doing my job and I think it's such BS that one cannot seek out help voluntarily without being completely chastised by the board.  Is voluntary rehab doable without disclosure or am I kidding myself?  

Specializes in Clinical Leadership, Staff Development, Education.

I am so sorry you are dealing with withdrawals.  It's awful, I know from experience.  I could not go but a few hours before I sought help without a drink.  I voluntarily reported, but sobriety is so worth all the requirements.  

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Specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing.
On 1/2/2021 at 6:37 PM, SNB1014 said:

WOW!  I’m in Texas and as far as I know, this is not the case down here.  What state are you speaking of?

I would not assume that it is not legal here. OP: Baby steps - does your EAP have anything for you? Nursing life is especially stressful right now. I would be cautious of revealing much to the EAP contact at school but they may have a network of providers who are legally bound to confidentiality once you are seeing them.

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Specializes in labor and delivery.

I went through a severe depression.  When I realized how depressed I was, I quit working and sought help from a therapist. I thought I was doing the right thing to protect me and others.  Even though I was not working, and therefore not a threat to patients, My therapist betrayed me and reported my depression, my hallucinations and suicidal thoughts to the State board of Nursing.  They suspended my license for 5 years!  I have been told that really means youwon't get your license back when you reapply. 

The worst part is the complaint that was filed and includes suicidal thoughts and hallucinations and much more info that I thought was HIPAA protected has been made public.  So when background checks are done even for a job at Joanne Fabrics and Walmart, I don't get the job due to the background check.  My psyche problems have been resolved for years with some lingering anxiety. But for some reason it is legal for the BON to have this info posted, I have consulted 2 attorneys to make it private and they say there is nothing that can be done.  I assume this is why people with mental health problems are homeless and without health insurance.

Any other suggestions, besides changing my identity?

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@depressed and jobless

I can totally relate. The BON does an excellent job maintaining the stigma tied to mental illness/addiction. I'm currently exploring new professions. Life is too short, and I don't care if I make less money. How can jobs like Joann Fabrics and Walmart know your medical history?! Were there any legal actions/charges against you? Feel free to private message me...

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Specializes in labor and delivery.

Because if you go to the BON website and look up my name.  It says license suspended.  Then gives you the option to look at the complaint filed by my therapist.  It includes very detailed info about my depression, suicidal thoughts, hallucinations that only happened then.  But I have no option to make a response.  Like that I have recovered from this.  It’s public no passwords needed to get the information that should be protected by HIPAA.  

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Specializes in Pediatric.
On 12/31/2020 at 8:03 PM, TheMoonisMyLantern said:

They ask the question in the admission assessment. It is incredibly inappropriate in my opinion, but sadly it's a legal practice in my state.

That’s ridiculous and so unfair

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Specializes in Pediatric.

All these responses make me so sad. I WILL go to rehab and NOT proclaim my profession. It’s worth the risk to me at this point.  But all of this red tape and stigma is such crap.  We worked SO hard for our licenses and have helped and saved countless lives. I am a good nurse..smart and capable and I ❤️ It! I can’t imagine doing anything else. I guess I’ll just hope for the best and see what life brings.  Thank you guys for all of your responses, I feel comforted knowing that I’m not alone in this struggle. Prayers for all of us! 

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On 1/9/2021 at 3:53 PM, depressed and jobless said:

Because if you go to the BON website and look up my name.  It says license suspended.  Then gives you the option to look at the complaint filed by my therapist.  It includes very detailed info about my depression, suicidal thoughts, hallucinations that only happened then.  But I have no option to make a response.  Like that I have recovered from this.  It’s public no passwords needed to get the information that should be protected by HIPAA.  

I hate this for you!  My history is also public with my state board although I diverted.  I was able to pass a background check and I currently work with children.  I disclosed to the HR lady that I was a nurse in recovery and she basically told me I was over sharing and as long as I don’t have any criminal charges of abuse of children then it doesn’t matter.  
 

I could not get a job at Target, Costco, gas stations etc before my info was public.  I suspect it had to do with my nursing background (they know I used to make $$ and probably felt I wouldn’t be happy making $ when in reality I just wanted a job, period).  
 

I get anxious that my current coworkers will some day look up my license but my therapist put it this way, she asked me if I’ve ever looked up someone else’s license just out of curiosity.  I haven’t and that made me feel better??‍♀️
 

If you are worried I would just leave your nursing background off your resume all together.  That left me with barely a resume at all but I think it makes you more appealing to entry-level positions.

Oh and I can’t believe your license has been SUSPENDED for five frickin years!  I stole (diverted) from my hospital, am a full blown opioid addict (sober six months!) and mine is only suspended for a year.  I know nurses who diverted who never had there license suspended at all! Ridiculous!

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On 1/9/2021 at 4:53 PM, depressed and jobless said:

Because if you go to the BON website and look up my name.  It says license suspended.  Then gives you the option to look at the complaint filed by my therapist.  It includes very detailed info about my depression, suicidal thoughts, hallucinations that only happened then.  But I have no option to make a response.  Like that I have recovered from this.  It’s public no passwords needed to get the information that should be protected by HIPAA.  

Making that information open to the public is absolutely wrong. I don't understand why they have to do this.

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