I need some critiques on my cover and resume.

RunBabyRN · Mar 19, 2014

Hi everyone I never really had to write cover letter or resume for my jobs and found it is very hard for me to write a good one. I had a couple people take a look at my resume but because they are from different field, they really can't give me great pointers. So I am hoping the good folks at allnurses can help me with it. Any critique is appreciated. Thank you so much. Jane Doe 4444 No Street Name Town, State 11111 October 5, 2014 Dear xxxx: I would like to apply for the RN position recently posted on your companys website. I graduated from College of xxxx with an AS in Nursing on January 16, 2014. My skills and work experience are outlined on the attached resume. In addition to nursing skills, I am also bilingual with a great understanding and appreciation of cultural differences which I believe will be an asset for xxx Hospital. My diverse work experience has enabled me to develop strong skills and prepared me for the challenges of nursing. Through research about your hospital I have learned that your institution won the Delmarva Excellence Award for the fifth time and the HealthGrade 2012 Patient Safety Excellence Award which indicates the hospitals priority and emphasis on quality patient care. I can attest through my clinical rotation that patient care is a top priority at xxx Hospital. For this and many other reasons, I am convinced that xxx Hospital is where I want to work as a nurse. I am confident that I will continue to develop as a nurse at your hospital, particularly through providing care to a diverse patient population. I would like to begin my nursing career at xxx Hospital and believe that my skills, experience, and cultural background will be an asset to you. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you need additional information. Thank you for your time and consideration in reviewing my resume and I look forward to interviewing with you soon. Sincerely, Jane Doe Ph: xxx-xxx-xxxx Attachment Objective: To obtain a RN residency or entry-level RN position focused on providing exceptional patient care in a leading healthcare organization and continue pursuing a BSN in nursing. Licensure: State # 11111 Education: 2011-2013 College of xxxx, Town, State AS of Nursing, January 16, 2014 2000 XXX College, Town, CA AA Liberal Arts Skills and Capabilities: - Possess strong interpersonal relationship skills used to develop rapport with clients, family, and peers - Bilingual in Chinese and English and interact well with people of diverse cultures - Have good assessment and intervention skills which are constantly in daily use in work as manager of my familys restaurant - Have strong computer skills; proficient in Word, Excel, point of sales systems - Ability to remain calm during stressful situation ability to multitask - Excellent customer service and self-motivated - Active listening Giving full attention to what other people are saying, taking time to understand the points being made, asking questions as appropriate, and not interrupting at inappropriate times. - Social Perceptiveness Being aware of others' reactions and understanding why they react as they do. Certification: - CPR-American Heart Association Healthcare Provider, 2013-2015 Clinical Experience: XXXX Hospital, Town, MD, 50 hours XXXX Medical Center, Town, 60 hours XXXX Medical Center, Town, MD, 130 hours XXXX Hospital, Town, MD, 300 hours Community Health, XXX and XXX County, 130 hours Clinical Rotations at Medical Surgical, ER, ICU, OR, OB, and Pediatric Units Logged over 200 hours on Telemetry/Medical Surgical unit at Calvert Memorial Hospital performing various nursing procedures. Completed 100 hours in Intensive Care Units (Medical, Cardiac, and Surgical). - Participated on a health care team to plan and provide quality care for patients. - Worked in a critical care unit with respirators, ventilators, and sterile environments. - Assessed and monitored patient status and provided personal care. - Administered medications as ordered by the physician. - Interacted with patients and their families to promote a supportive environment. Work Experience: XXXX, Town, MD, Manager 2010-present - Accomplishes restaurant human resource objectives by selecting, orienting, training, assigning, scheduling and disciplining employees; communicating job expectations; planning, monitoring, appraising, and reviewing job contributions; enforcing policies and procedures - Maintains safe, secure, and healthy environment by establishing, following, and enforcing sanitation standards and procedures and complying with legal regulations. - Handling complaints, settling disputes, and resolving grievances and conflicts, or otherwise negotiating with others (customers or employees). - Encouraging and building mutual trust, respect, and cooperation among team members XXXX Japanese Steak House, Town, MD, Server 2009-2010 - Identifying information by categorizing, estimating, recognizing differences or similarities, and detecting changes in circumstances or events: Recognize customer intoxication Understand government alcoholic beverage service regulations Understand government health and food regulations Check ID to ensure minimum age requirement is met - Dealing directly with the public: Serve food or beverages Provide customer service Answer customer inquiries XXXX Physical Therapy, Town, MD, PT Assistant 2009 - Assist physical therapists to provide treatment that improves patient mobility, relieves pain, and prevents or lessens physical disabilities of patients. - Knowledge of principles and methods for curriculum and training design, teaching and instruction for individuals and groups, and the measurement of training effects. - Assist physical therapists in providing care to patients. Under the direction and supervision of physical therapists to provide exercise, instruction; therapeutic methods like electrical stimulation, mechanical traction, and gait and balance training. - Record the patient's responses to treatment and report the outcome of each treatment to the physical therapist. - Responsible for keeping the treatment area clean and organized and for preparing for each patient's therapy. XXXX, Town, CA, Caregiver 2008-2009 [*']Asseses patient condition by monitoring vital signs; recording intake and output; reviewing patient care journal; keeping family informed. [*]Records patient information by making entries in the patient journal; notifying agency nursing supervisor of changing or unusual conditions.Maintains continuity of patient home care by documenting and communicating actions, irregularities, and continuing needs in the patient journal for the next caregiver. [*]Maintains a safe, secure, and healthy patient environment by following asepsis standards and procedures; changing linens, dusting; maintaining kitchen and bathroom facilities, handling personal laundry; maintaining security. [*]Communicate with patients to ascertain feelings or need for assistance or social and emotional support. References available upon request.

Bear with me, as I am *almost* a new grad, and am on my phone, but I was a hiring manager in my former life.

In your cover letter, you say you're bilingual. You MUST include the language, even though it's also in your resume.

Your cover letter overall (aside from the specs of the hospital) is extremely vague. What are your goals? How do you stand out from your peers? How did specific jobs prepare you for the rigors of nursing? You need to be more specific, and tell someone who's reading 200 cover letters why YOU are the one they want. This is very generic, and likely to get passed up. All of the "fluffy stuff", like your "skills and capabilities" should be incorporated into your cover letter. They don't belong on your resume. Again, be as specific as possible with this stuff.

Your description of what you did in clinicals needs work. Discard anything you did that any student nurse does. Of course you assessed patients and passed meds. What did you do that makes you more stellar for my company than your classmates? Think outside the box

Tidy up your job descriptions of your other jobs. You don't have to list every single little thing you did. Try to list the stuff that you can carry with you as a nurse. Overly wordy resumes make managers tune out. They have limited time, and appreciate brevity. As a nurse manager, I would also wonder if your documentation was going to be super wordy as well. Think clear and concise. Respect the time of the manager you want to work for, tell them why you are the best candidate for the job (that differs from every other new grad), and make it pop.

"Dealing directly with the public" "providing customer service" and "answering customer inquiries" are all saying the exact same thing about the same job. This is one example of what I mean. Don't include checking IDs for beverages and such, that's kind of a given. Do a well-written summary of the position in a sentence or two. Again, keep it brief, particularly the stuff that has nothing to do with the medical field. Customer service is good, but keep t short.

I would also include the months you worked at your jobs. 2008-2009 could mean 2 years or a month. Be specific.

I hope that helps. Kind of an overhaul, I know, but I think it can make a big difference in how much attention your resume gets.

Good luck! :)

msygrnbw · Mar 19, 2014

Just a few thing that I think you might want to add:

- Which language you speak in the cover letter.

- You say which awards the hospital won, but it's like you're stating it. It would serve you better if you picked an award and something from either their mission statement or values and used them to reflect on how you further/support that goal. Like "XYZ Hospital is nationally recognized for their work to further patient safety. I have had the opportunity at your facility to observe this strive toward lower patient falls in my clinical experience. I feel that this is something I would like to strive toward by continuing my nursing practice to help further this goal." I guess that's not the best wording since it's off the top of my head, but it gets the point I'm trying to make across. How do YOU connect with their goals, not just how do you admire them.

- I do not at all believe in a skills/competencies section of a resume unless you have specific skills/competencies that are not covered under learning how to nurse/work with people. Work this into your cover letter a little. Your cover letter is really vague and you would do well from some specifics. "Through my experience as a manager, I have learned that prioritization can be a difficult yet important skill. By accurate prioritization I strive to not only improve patient outcomes, but to provide them excellence in service (or something like that - again what is the hospital's mission statement/values?)"

- I know people are divided on this, but I would lose the objective section. I have heard from many advisors/mentors/managers that it's outdated on a resume. They know it eats up space and they know why you're applying to this position.

- In your resume you have lost the most important pieces of information and included a lot of fluff. You focus on the day to day stuff too much - To be frank, you worked at a steakhouse, I don't need to know that you served beverages. What skills did you learn there that are applicable to nursing. You learned to delegate. This is a huge awesome skill to be used toward nursing. You learned to PRIORITIZE shifts and orders. I would definitely not leave that stuff out. And I think you should take a lot of the obvious parts out under server and other jobs that aren't very applicable to nursing. A bullet or two at most for jobs that aren't transferring many skills to nursing.

- I think the section on being a manger is good, but again, try and focus as much as possible on what you will be applying to nursing.

- I have heard mixed reviews on whether to include clinical experience on a resume. I don't include mine as a new grad, but I might include the one specific to the job I'm applying for, especially if I spent additional time there learning. For example, if you had an extended clinical in pediatrics and are applying to a PICU. But for the most part, you are graduating with an RN, the recruiter/manger understands that you've had clinicals and is familiar with the curriculum. *For me, the exception would be if you had an immersion or lengthy internship. If you were working 4 days a week on the floor and had most of the responsibility for all 5 patients I would list that.

- Any relevant experience with the population you are applying to be working with. If you're in geriatrics have you ever volunteered with that population? If not and you still have free time, a day or two every couple weeks looks good on your resume. If you're working with kids, have you ever helped out at a daycare, etc.

- Do you have any service listed? Have you volunteered anywhere? Do you belong to any nursing societies (EX: Sigma Theta Tau, Honors College, ANA, Your specific field of interest Nursing Society)? If not, these look good on your resume and they help further your education, maybe consider joining/attending a few meetings to see if you're interested.

- License and Certification should go under one heading just to keep it easy for the reader to see at a glance.

- Did you graduate with any honors (Cum laude, Magna cum laude, Summa cum laude)? If so, include them as a bullet under your school. Were you on the dean's list? If so, something like Dean's list 5 consecutive semesters might be a good bullet point under your schooling.

Overall, you have a really good framework to your resume and cover letter, it just needs to be personalized and cleaned up a bit. I cannot stress enough that you need to tailor each cover letter to each job you're applying to. Why you are a good fit for one position might be slightly different than why you're a fit for another position. Same thing with resume. If you're applying for a job on a post-orthopedic surgery floor, that PT work is important to highlight, whereas if you're looking for something outpatient it might be more important to highlight your managerial/customer service work. Save these different copies on your computer and make sure you name them uniquely! You don't wanna go to an interview and find out you brought a copy of the cover letter/resume from XYZ hospital when you actually needed/sent them the ABC hospital one.

Good luck! Let us know how the Job Search goes!

ctran · Mar 19, 2014

Thank you so much guys! I will revised it ASAP!

joanna73, BSN, RN · Mar 22, 2014

Agree with others. Your resume and cover letter needs to be more concise and more "you". It's very generic.

Get rid of the objective section and "references available..." Takes up valuable space.

ctran · Apr 23, 2014

Hi Everyone,

I got a couple of interviews after I changed my resume and cover letter. I got hired at a LTC facility; however, the day I accepted the position, a hospital called me for an interview. I really want that hospital position but after the interview, the interviewer told me they don't have any positions open at the moment but will keep my name on file. Is that a way to let me know that they don't want to hire me or is that normal? I'm very curious and feel bummed that I did not get the position. Now I wondered what I did wrong during the interview.