I don't know if I can take this stress!!!!!

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Cardiac, ICU.

I am a pre-nursing student who has applied at 5 schools and I am waiting for admit letters to come in November. I am married, but my husband and I are split up and he is good for nothing. I have two children and while my son is not giving me any trouble, my daughter, who is five, is killing me. Tuesday, she pushed a little girl on the slide just because she was touching her and busted the litle girl's eye up! I was told this today at her parent/teacher conference and apparently the little girl told her mother my child did it, although at first the little girl said she had an accident and fell on the slide herself. Now, since no one saw it happen, my child is off the hook. If she had been seen doing it, she would have been suspended, and if it does happen again she will be. Now, if she is put out of school, I will be able to attend class, since I take three distance courses and just one on campus and I'm sure I could take her with me to class. I am worried about nursing school though because I won't have that option there and I don't know what to do with her. I tell her to ask the person to leave her alone, then if they won't to walk away, then to tell the teacher if they still won't stop. She can repeat these back to me so she knows what to do. I punish her with spankings, time out, talking to her. I praise her when she does well and I tell her if she has good days for a week I will take her to the movies or Chucky Cheese's. I don't like spanking her, as it makes me very sad and it doesn't seem to help enfore the "don't hit people to get them to do what you want" argument. I only spank her on her the bottom and I tell her I'm doing it because I'm her mother and when she is bad I have to punish her. I called her teacher and asked her to keep her out of recess tomorrow and next week and to remind her why she is sitting out. Please give me some more advice. I have taken TV away(even though she only watched 30 minutes a day as it was). I am soooooooooooooooooooooo stressed. I have little support especially since my husband is gone and I have four classes and I work weekends. I am stress eating and gaining weight with all this. Please give me some advice. Thanks for listening. :uhoh3: :uhoh3: :uhoh3: :uhoh3: :uhoh3: :uhoh3: :crying2: :crying2: :crying2: :crying2: :uhoh21:

Specializes in Med/Surg, Hospice.

In your post I sense so much fear and worry. I am so sorry that you are hurting right now. You are under a great deal of stress, and a lot of change is happening in your life. Your future is up in the air, your marriage is not well, and your child is causing you so much concern.

I think your little one is dealing with stress too, but she lacks the maturity to verbalize and deal with it. Maybe you can help her talk about her fear, anger, etc., and how she might express it in healthy ways. Just hearing you say, "I know you are feeling ________ (afraid, mad, scared...) right now. That doesn't feel good does it? I'm so sorry that you feel so bad" can help her know that she is understood, and that you are still concerned about her feelings in the midst of all your own worries.

Your family is going through a rough patch right now. It will not always be this way. You will hear back from the schools (and I hope get accepted!), you will be able to make plans, you will adjust to the changes in your life, and find a new sense of normal.

Remind yourself that you are a good mom who loves her kids, will make a great nurse, and are worth taking care of. Be very good to yourself, okay?

Specializes in Operating Room.

It seems you are a good mom because you care about your child's attitude, etc.

..BUT, even good mom's need help. Do you have any family near by? Is there anyone to help you out? I'm sure your daughter is lashing out right now because of the stress put on her with your husband.

I don't really know what to tell you, but maybe trying to set aside at least 30 minutes a night to read with her, or play a game. Maybe on weekends you could spare a movie time at home, with popcorn,etc.

I think your child may just need to be reassured that you love her, and hopefully she will grow out of the problem stage.

Good luck, best wishes, and lots of prayers to you and your family. :icon_hug: :kiss I'm so sorry you are having to go through this mess.

Specializes in Geriatrics, Cardiac, ICU.
It seems you are a good mom because you care about your child's attitude, etc.

..BUT, even good mom's need help. Do you have any family near by? Is there anyone to help you out? I'm sure your daughter is lashing out right now because of the stress put on her with your husband.

I don't really know what to tell you, but maybe trying to set aside at least 30 minutes a night to read with her, or play a game. Maybe on weekends you could spare a movie time at home, with popcorn,etc.

I think your child may just need to be reassured that you love her, and hopefully she will grow out of the problem stage.

Good luck, best wishes, and lots of prayers to you and your family. :icon_hug: :kiss I'm so sorry you are having to go through this mess.

From the time I pick her up at 4:30 to 5:00 I do things with her. I cook dinner, then I help her with her homework. She asks me to take a bath with ther and I do it, every night. After dinner. I help her with her cheerleading moves and her jumps. I praise her and applaud. We play trouble and I read The Wizard of Oz every night right before bed. I eat at the table with both my children and I ask about their day. I let my daughter sleep with me since my husband is gone. I think I'm being overly sensitive because I always had to fuss at my husband(he cheated on me btw) and I'm tired of fussing. I would like to just pick up my daughter and be cool. I was supposed to take her for ice cream today, but I canceled because she hurt that little girl. I took her to the movies last weekend for being good four days in a row( they get a green dot in their agenda if they have a good day at her school). I tell he rI love her each morning before she goes inthe school. I do have family, as a matter of fact we my sister , mom and I are going to Atlanta to see a play and my daughter is coming too. I am trying to relax, but with these impending nursing school admissions and my husband, I am frazzled. It's crazy to say, but work is the least stressful thing I do nowadays. :uhoh21: I love my kids and I want to complete school so we can have a good life. would it be wrong to have my husband not come around for awhile? He only shows up when he wants to. As a matter of fact he has not called me since Monday, so he doesn't even know what's going on.

I am a pre-nursing student who has applied at 5 schools and I am waiting for admit letters to come in November. I am married, but my husband and I are split up and he is good for nothing. I have two children and while my son is not giving me any trouble, my daughter, who is five, is killing me. Tuesday, she pushed a little girl on the slide just because she was touching her and busted the litle girl's eye up! I was told this today at her parent/teacher conference and apparently the little girl told her mother my child did it, although at first the little girl said she had an accident and fell on the slide herself. Now, since no one saw it happen, my child is off the hook. If she had been seen doing it, she would have been suspended, and if it does happen again she will be. Now, if she is put out of school, I will be able to attend class, since I take three distance courses and just one on campus and I'm sure I could take her with me to class. I am worried about nursing school though because I won't have that option there and I don't know what to do with her. I tell her to ask the person to leave her alone, then if they won't to walk away, then to tell the teacher if they still won't stop. She can repeat these back to me so she knows what to do. I punish her with spankings, time out, talking to her. I praise her when she does well and I tell her if she has good days for a week I will take her to the movies or Chucky Cheese's. I don't like spanking her, as it makes me very sad and it doesn't seem to help enfore the "don't hit people to get them to do what you want" argument. I only spank her on her the bottom and I tell her I'm doing it because I'm her mother and when she is bad I have to punish her. I called her teacher and asked her to keep her out of recess tomorrow and next week and to remind her why she is sitting out. Please give me some more advice. I have taken TV away(even though she only watched 30 minutes a day as it was). I am soooooooooooooooooooooo stressed. I have little support especially since my husband is gone and I have four classes and I work weekends. I am stress eating and gaining weight with all this. Please give me some advice. Thanks for listening. :uhoh3: :uhoh3: :uhoh3: :uhoh3: :uhoh3: :uhoh3: :crying2: :crying2: :crying2: :crying2: :uhoh21:

Have you considered counseling for you and your children. A separation/divorce of the parents is stressful on kids, and mom alike. I went through a divorce with one child and it was crazy....counseling did help alot and I learned what resources were available to me in my city. Good lluck

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