I'm starting to think I don't have enough compassion to be a nurse.....I don't have the stress management skills to be a nurse....I'm only 23 and have worked as an RN for five months and I feel like I've lost all my compassion and drive to continue in the nursing field......I must not have had much to begin with.
I know I'm not the only new grad RN struggling but I can't seem to handle the stress. I got out of prison nursing, after 4 months, because of a poor orientation and being put in dangerous situations. I got hired at a SNF and was given 5 days of orientation and thrown out to sink or swim with 25 patients(I work on the rehab side of the SNF). I've been there a month and already want to quit. Between med pass, charting and treatments I already have to run to get everything done. Plus I get interrupted nonstop by family, doctors and unexpected stuff. I don't know how to process it all.
I cry going to and coming from work daily. I dread work so much it's like the anxiety never stops. I have no friends from work or in the area to hang out with to get my mind off of the anxiety. I live by myself in an apartment 4 hours from my family and friends. I moved for the prison job after 9 months of unemployment after graduation but now I regret it.
This is how i feel and think(yes i know its not good): It seems all my patients complain nonstop and are never satisfied. It's like they think they are my only patient and not one of 25. I get so impatient waiting for these old people to take their dang meds.....they move at a snails pace. There is this one patient of mine with dementia who screams "help" nonstop....All I do is give her ativan around the clock.
There is another dementia patient who nonstop cries over every freaking thing that happens....she drives me nuts! The families expect their loved ones to be treated like the most important pt in the entire facility.
My patients deserve a nurse who cares and has compassion which I know I don't have. Maybe I should have been an accountant......
Thanks guys. I am actively applying for jobs in a hospital. I am really trying to stick with it but for some reason I feel like I'm falling apart. I now realize I have a lot about myself I need to improve to better manage my life and career.
Yeah, I know most peoples ideal work environment isn't a prison or SNF. I would love to work in the operative room but jobs from new grads in the OR are scarce. I am actively applying elsewhere at the moment. Best of luck to you in your career and job search. The world of nursing is a tough place.
New grad jobs in general are scarce, but keep looking. From what I understand, there are certifications you can do for OR that might help. I don't know enough about the specialty to be able to elaborate in a helpful way, but I'm sure if you do your research (and check out the OR nursing forum on here), you can get started in the right direction. Getting med/surg experience would be great for you, and would look good for trying to get into the OR.
DrowningNewGrad
12 Posts
Thanks guys. I am actively applying for jobs in a hospital. I am really trying to stick with it but for some reason I feel like I'm falling apart. I now realize I have a lot about myself I need to improve to better manage my life and career.