I get the different personalities, but they don't :-(

[NurseGuyBri]

I'm a very fair person. I understand a lot of different personalities and I rarely take things personally. I have a colleague (subordinate) who is very loud and comes across rude and disrespectful, but it doesn't bother me directly because I see that it's a personality thing and not her being rude. Of course it bothers others and it is somewhat unprofessional. I bring that to her attention and she hears me, but it doesn't help. I cannot make all personalities get along, but how can I improve our teamwork and understanding of each other without a budget? I feel like some staff think that I'm blowing them off or doing nothing about their concerns. I listen, but sometimes there just isn't anything "to do" and everyone expects something to be "done" about everything. Of course, there isn't- some people just don't get along. I think some of the concerns are valid, but most are just complaining about not getting along. I thought I would be good at this kind of thing, but now I'm starting to doubt my abilities because there is so much dissent between the floor staff. I have a great staff, individually. They are all great and important in different ways, but their arguing between each other is killing us! I have not had the authority to make changes in the past, but that has changed and I'm trying to foster a new atmosphere of teamwork and camaraderie, but I'm not sure it's advancing. Any advice on how to get everyone in better spirits? PS- unfortunately, I don't think I'm really putting on this post what I'm feeling, it's not coming out right...

[loriangel14, RN]

I understand where you are coming from. Some people seem to be hypersensitive to the foibles of others.I have a coworker that is one of those people who says things that "come out wrong", others call it " having no filter". It's just her. You can't change it and she means no harm.She has made some comments at work that others have hit the roof over while she had no idea why everyone is upset.But she is a good person and she means no harm.

I get along with pretty much everyone I work with because I try to see the good in others and accept some stuff as just a difference inpersonalities.The only thing I have been able to do is point out someone's good qualities when some starts moaning about their character.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

I have a colleague (subordinate) who is very loud and comes across rude and disrespectful, but it doesn't bother me directly because I see that it's a personality thing and not her being rude. Of course it bothers others and it is somewhat unprofessional. I bring that to her attention and she hears me, but it doesn't help....

Kudos to you NurseGuyBri for being supportive of your colleague. But (you knew it was coming, right?) a very important part of nursing is learning to work well with others... patients, staff, physicians, families, etc... This requires that everyone follow important behavioral 'rules' and one of the most important is respect for others. Disrespect is based on the perception of the targeted person. You can't tell me that I wasn't disrespected if I feel that I was. Once we get to know someone, we may give them some more slack and ascribe different motivation to the same behavior - particularly if we admire or like that person... but it sounds like this is never going to happen if your colleague doesn't make more of an effort.

There are some boundaries that cannot be crossed without jeopardizing the collaboration/cooperation of the group. It sounds like your unfortunate colleague just doesn't get it. In order to avoid damaging the entire team, someone needs to reign in the rude behavior. This is done in a written counseling session... identifying the unacceptable behavior and clearly laying out the new expectations as well as the consequences for noncompliance. It's rough, but can have positive outcomes in the long run. Hopefully, it will make a difference in this case.

Good luck.

[NurseGuyBri]

Thank you both! I am lucky that I have good support at work as well. I think we may have started making some positive work today, but only because I happened to be nearby when I heard the same colleague saying something to someone that could be taken the wrong way. I was able to immediately step in and help them see what I was talking about when I say that it's the PERCEPTION of the other person that we have to be sensitive to. I found out that a few hours, the two involved (who never got along) had apologized on their own and seemed to be in good spirits. I almost fell to the floor :). I hope we can keep it going forward. Thank you!!