I feel like I'm losing control

[PsychRN]

As someone with long-running mental health issues it can be hard for me to figure out who to talk to about my problems other than a therapist or doctor, neither of which have been very helpful when discussing alcohol. My partner is supportive, but busy with her own stuff and likely tired of hearing me talk rather than act. I'm going to lay this out there and see what some other nurses have to say.

A few years ago I got divorced and she got most of the friends along with the dogs (no kids involved, thankfully). I went back to school to be a nurse after medical assisting for half a dozen years and got into a school a couple of hours from family and what friends I have. I am engaged and my fiance was supportive in our move out here.

The problem I'm having is that I am not feeling connected to people out here and, despite much success in school, I'm struggling. My long-running unhealthy relationship with alcohol has gotten worse to where I'm drinking up to ~6 drinks a night. At a time when I'm studying my favorite subject, I am having a hard time keeping up with assignments and I don't feel very good. I don't exercise and stay up late, mostly playing games. I have a feeling that talking to my instructors could be very helpful, or could totally backfire. I just can't tell.

I'm on track to graduate with close to a 4.0, I just feel like I'm sliding down. I don't want to mess this up. Please, nurses, what would you say to someone like me?

FYI: I checked out AA as part of our school projects and I would really prefer to not go that route. The whole lifestyle and ideology does not appeal to me. I do want to make connections with people, get exercise, use my time better, and drink less/less often.

*This seems like it could go in the self help section or this one and I'm a student in a BSN program, but there is no such forum subsection there AFAIK....*

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

I would not tell your professors or anybody else remotely connected to the nursing profession that you think you may have a problem with alcohol. You will wind up in a version of monitoring before you even take your boards.

that being said if you CANNOT stop your drinking you need detox and rehab. If you have student insurance when they ask what you do simply say student. If you simply will not stop drinking then no amount of counseling, rehab or mystical 12 step nonsense is gonna help.

[PsychRN]

@SpankedInPittsburgh Thank you for the advice re: not telling professors. It really sucks that they are great to talk to about other things and involved in helping me succeed, but telling them would essentially get me in trouble.

Do I want to stop drinking entirely? No, not if I can help it. If that's necessary, that's what I'll do. AA's answer is to stop completely. There is a middle ground and I want to explore it before going to extremes. I think I need more positives outside of school to help me balance by life and give me other things to do. Structure is very helpful to me and I'm looking to build it into my day.

[mississippiRN71]

Definately do NOT talk to your professors. Try to cut back on your drinking and see if you can do it on your own. If not, consider rehab but tell them your'e a college student. Don't dare mention nursing student. These monitoring programs are AWFUL! Good luck!

[KatmamaRN, ADN, RN]

First, I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. Life sure does suck sometimes and throws us curveballs we don’t desire or expect.

I agree with keeping this under wraps.

Perhaps some alcohol treatment or detox would help, but let me just say, a lot of times they throw in the A.A. aspect.

Now before you give up on that, perhaps you may consider trying different AA groups. I’m not even an alcoholic, but over the past five years I learned SO much by listening to others. I didn’t contribute a lot since pills were my issue, but most groups welcomed me with open arms. I use the mantras even today, and I’m two weeks from finishing my 5 yr program. I KNOW if I ever feel like I’m going to slip or have an issue, they are there for me, and they are FREE. Sometimes it was a place to clear my head, vent, contemplate, share. Our oldest and most sober friend (50+ years sobriety) passed away yesterday. His wisdom wasn’t something you could purchase, read about, hope for....you just had to be there in his presence.

Good luck to you in finding what works best for you, and for recognizing you have a problem.