I feel like being harrassed

[Joyce0]

So I'm a student nurse and its my first time getting a community job, going home to home to clients to deliver their meds and take their vital signs. Ive got a new client, I only met him 4 times and the first time I met him he said that I look pretty a couple of times or that I am the prettiest. We dont have to wear scrubs so i usually wear a casual jeans and shirt or long sleeve tops with decent neckline, just in case I bend. Everytime I go to this patient, he usually checks me out and compliments me but I usually just disregard it and continue to take his vitals and witness him take his meds. After like the 3rd time visiting him to do my routine, I recieve a call from my manager that there is complaint from this client, saying that I wear shirts that have a too short neckline and that I am not wearing a proper dresscode. She told me that she doesnt want to have this complaint again and I just said sorry and that im gonna start being much more carefull about my tops from There on, because I thought maybe one of my tops are actually low for my patients liking. On my 4th visit to this client I start wearing buttoned up long cardigan in front of a turtle neck and usual jeans and sneakers. Still the client told me I have a "beautiful face and eyes" and have a "good lean body". He asked me if im married or not and asked my age. He also told me that I look young for this job and asked If I ever get afraid going inside of any other patient man's house or if i had any "experiences" with them. I told him that these questions are making me uncomfortable and Im only there for a limited amount of time and to do my job. But he continued telling me that if he was me I should be afraid for my safety because of the way I look, and crazy people may attack me inside their house coz they might cant help themselves. He's not even kidding, he told me this while hovering his eyes to my body. I left the house as fast as I can. I told my manager about this and how feel uncomfortable, through text explaining everything and she actually just seen it and havent replied since yesterday. I Feel horrible right now, Its making me have second thoughts of doing nursing especially if I dont have support from management regarding this issues. But I cant really do anything about this, can I? Im not even showing enough skin when i see him. Ive been working in this clinic for almost 4 months now and I never got an issue like this, i do got complinents about how i look attractive before though . I dont know what should I do. Should i just quit this job? Am I doing anything wrong? I dont even wear make up just a cream for my face not to be that oily. This is new to me. Is it wrong to tell my manager? Im afraid she gonna think im making up stuff after the complaint plus we only see each other once a week when I pick up the medicines and stuff.

[Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN]

You absolutely were right to tell your manager -- especially since he is comfortable making false allegations (your inappropriate dress, despite care to choose clothes that are conservative.) What might he say after you rebuffed his HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE comments? That you told him about "experiences" with other "men patients?"

You need to protect yourself -- both from the harassment and from what false allegations can do to your future livelihood as an RN.

I don't have legal expertise, but this sounds like it might be grounds for a sexual harassment suit -- if your work doesn't take any measures to protect you. I mean, they can easily reassign this client to another caregiver...preferably a male one, although this jerk would probably have no qualms about asking about his sexual orientation.

If nothing else, it would behoove your agency to take action -- his behaviors could be setting THEM up for legal trouble. It could take the form of 1) you vs agency for failing to act on sexual harassment, or 2) him vs agency...for sending this alleged immoral girl into his home.

If they don't take swift and immediate action to protect you, I would leave. I would also seriously consider talking to an attorney -- perhaps of the employment, civil rights, or RN+JD ( taana.org ) variety. Some attorneys offer free consultations... would be good to find out what your options are. Even if you leave the agency, this scumbag knows who you are -- again, you need to protect yourself from any future false allegations. And your state's BON exists to protect the public -- not nurses.

As far as whether to go into nursing....nurses and unlicensed caregivers are supposed to be as free from sexual harassment at work as anyone. We are not exempt from the protections that exist in 2018. Fortunately, (at least in my experience) employers know this.

I am truly sorry for your first experience working with the profession.

[meanmaryjean, DNP, RN]

They need to start sending a large, burly dude to this guy's house- unannounced of course.

[JKL33]

I know this is a week old, but if this situation has not been settled I would inform your manager of the accurate series of events; that this patient actually made comments that made you uncomfortable right from the start and that you ignored them and continued on with care. Let her know that while you were worrying what to do about it, he made the complaint against you. Do not return to this home.

For the future, you must immediately report harrassment, and do so professionally (ideally face-to-face with your manager if possible). Someone else's inappropriate and/or suggestive words/behavior are not something for you to try to deal with on your own, and you shouldn't have to feel that awkward-embarrassed feeling that keeps so many people from reporting sexual harrassment.

I'm sorry you have learned about this type of thing in this manner, where the patient sensed your discomfort and tried to beat you to the punch by making a false allegation against you before you could report him. He's a blankety-blank who obviously knows how to play this game.