I was so excited

[Maladroit, BSN, RN]

I was so excited to start my job as a peds nurse! It was my dream job in my top choice hospital. I have been off of orientation for 2 days and have been feeling so overwhelmed and am dreading going back this weekend. There is such a steep learning curve, and while I'm a part of a nurse residency program, it still feels like too much most of the time. My supervisors and colleagues say "ask lots of questions", but when I need to no one is around or they say I need to figure it out. On orientation, things were great - I felt confident and like I was getting the hang of most of it. Now, I fear for my license and wonder if I'm doing the right thing most of the day. After being at this for two months now, I thought it should be getting easier, not harder. I haven't gotten to the point of crying, but I have gotten to the point of shaking I was so scared I screwed something up. I'm learning a ton and trying to stay positive and tell myself that my patients are always alive at shift-change and I learned something new...with Joint Commission coming this month, I'm even more terrified!

I frequently ask myself if I'm really cut out for this....should I consider a career change or suck it up?

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

Short answer: Two months? Is that all? Suck it up. :)

I'm not saying that to be mean. I'm saying that because every study on new jobs (not just nursing) indicates that it takes a minimum of 4-6 months just to feel halfway competent. Wake up call here!

I swear I don't get the huge number of posts of new grads who feel like failures or are "terrified" (gawd, I hate that word-- lose it from your vocabulary right away, because it isn't helping you at all) merely because they aren't proficient in (two weeks/a month/three months/a year...) You all may be guilty of a real and genuine lack of perspective, but you're not stupid, you're not incompetent, and you're a really, really, really long way from losing your license. :)

So let's step back a bit and see what you said.

You did an orientation and liked it, and they didn't throw you out on your ear. :)

You're in a residency program, so you're still allowed a good deal of slack, because you're new and gee, they know that!

You wonder if you're doing the right thing all day long. Has anybody told you otherwise? No hairy eyeball? OK then.

You're not crying. (That's good :) Nobody should be crying at work. As one of my colleagues used to say, "If they're all still alive at the end of the shift I have done my job.")

Your'e learning a ton. THAT's significant. Very important. You aren't so paralyzed with fear that you can't even learn about the trees, even if you're still working on the whole forest thing. :) Soon those trees will coalesce into copses, then groves, then tracts, and in a few years (don't think you can rush this process) you'll be looking at something the size of the state forest.

Joint Commission is nothing to be afraid of. They do not go around looking for new nurses to terrorize or pin to a specimen board like captured butterflies. The biggest thing to know about them is that they want to know what you will do if you don't know something. So know where your policy and procedure books are, have a passing familiarity with what's in them, and if they ask you a question and you don't know the answer, say calmly, "I'm still pretty new and I don't know, but I know where to find out," and show them.

Finally... do you think you're so unusual that you know every single nurse you work with didn't feel like that as a new grad? Can you possibly put yourself ahead a year and look at the next crop of new grads they'll hire next and realize you'll look awesome to them because they are so (gritting teeth) terrified?

Here's what I posted to another new grad elsewhere:

Try to remember what it was like when you learned to drive. The year before getting your learner's permit was the loooonnnnngggggessstttt year of your LIFE. Then you sat in the classes and couldn't wait to get behind the wheel.

And it was harder than it looked when you were watching your mom drive you around. All those things to remember! All those things to observe! You couldn't have the radio on because it decreased your concentration just enough to make you even more nervous. You ground the gears, and the tires squealed when you jammed on the brakes parking in the lot. When your mom, riding shotgun, yelled, "Stop!" when you didn't see the guy in front of you didn't have functioning brake lights, she scared the bejaysus out of you and made you mad at the same time.

When the big State Police guy took you out for your driver's test, you were shaking in your boots. But you know what? You passed. You couldn't believe it, couldn't believe you had that thing in your wallet, because still when your mom handed you the keys it was scary. The first time -- and the second, and the fifth-- you drove the interstate into the city by yourself you thought you were gonna die. But you didn't. It got better.

And now.... flash forward mumblemumble years. You buckle up and back down the driveway, drive with three kids yakking in the back seat, listening to Terri Gross on NPR, aware of every damn fool on the road, and you haven't had a problem with parallel parking since the Clinton administration. While drinking your morning iced coffee. And planning your grocery list. And you remember to get gas.

See?

You can do this. You're just ... new.

[pookyp, LPN]

Short answer: Two months? Is that all? Suck it up. :)

I'm not saying that to be mean. I'm saying that because every study on new jobs (not just nursing) indicates that it takes a minimum of 4-6 months just to feel halfway competent. Wake up call here!

I swear I don't get the huge number of posts of new grads who feel like failures or are "terrified" (gawd, I hate that word-- lose it from your vocabulary right away, because it isn't helping you at all) merely because they aren't proficient in (two weeks/a month/three months/a year...) You all may be guilty of a real and genuine lack of perspective, but you're not stupid, you're not incompetent, and you're a really, really, really long way from losing your license. :)

So let's step back a bit and see what you said.

You did an orientation and liked it, and they didn't throw you out on your ear. :)

You're in a residency program, so you're still allowed a good deal of slack, because you're new and gee, they know that!

You wonder if you're doing the right thing all day long. Has anybody told you otherwise? No hairy eyeball? OK then.

You're not crying. (That's good :) Nobody should be crying at work. As one of my colleagues used to say, "If they're all still alive at the end of the shift I have done my job.")

Your'e learning a ton. THAT's significant. Very important. You aren't so paralyzed with fear that you can't even learn about the trees, even if you're still working on the whole forest thing. :) Soon those trees will coalesce into copses, then groves, then tracts, and in a few years (don't think you can rush this process) you'll be looking at something the size of the state forest.

Joint Commission is nothing to be afraid of. They do not go around looking for new nurses to terrorize or pin to a specimen board like captured butterflies. The biggest thing to know about them is that they want to know what you will do if you don't know something. So know where your policy and procedure books are, have a passing familiarity with what's in them, and if they ask you a question and you don't know the answer, say calmly, "I'm still pretty new and I don't know, but I know where to find out," and show them.

Finally... do you think you're so unusual that you know every single nurse you work with didn't feel like that as a new grad? Can you possibly put yourself ahead a year and look at the next crop of new grads they'll hire next and realize you'll look awesome to them because they are so (gritting teeth) terrified?

Here's what I posted to another new grad elsewhere:

Try to remember what it was like when you learned to drive. The year before getting your learner's permit was the loooonnnnngggggessstttt year of your LIFE. Then you sat in the classes and couldn't wait to get behind the wheel.

And it was harder than it looked when you were watching your mom drive you around. All those things to remember! All those things to observe! You couldn't have the radio on because it decreased your concentration just enough to make you even more nervous. You ground the gears, and the tires squealed when you jammed on the brakes parking in the lot. When your mom, riding shotgun, yelled, "Stop!" when you didn't see the guy in front of you didn't have functioning brake lights, she scared the bejaysus out of you and made you mad at the same time.

When the big State Police guy took you out for your driver's test, you were shaking in your boots. But you know what? You passed. You couldn't believe it, couldn't believe you had that thing in your wallet, because still when your mom handed you the keys it was scary. The first time -- and the second, and the fifth-- you drove the interstate into the city by yourself you thought you were gonna die. But you didn't. It got better.

And now.... flash forward mumblemumble years. You buckle up and back down the driveway, drive with three kids yakking in the back seat, listening to Terri Gross on NPR, aware of every damn fool on the road, and you haven't had a problem with parallel parking since the Clinton administration. While drinking your morning iced coffee. And planning your grocery list. And you remember to get gas.

See?

You can do this. You're just ... new.

Well said. :)

[Maladroit, BSN, RN]

Thanks, I really needed that dose of perspective! I have always been a perfectionist and the big fish in little ponds...definitely not used to being the little fish in a big pond and the novice again!

[Mopples]

Perfect post Grntea. I remember reading your post about the learning to drive thing.

As a new grad on my 5th week, I think half the stress we put ourselves under is because of our own expectations of ourselves. Remember you can do this, it just takes time and we are all learning.