I wanted to make a post on here because I've been having a really hard time as of late and I wanted to see if anyone could offer some advice. I graduated from nursing school in Summer 2021 and during my capstone project, I realized I really didn't want to be a nurse. I've held a couple of nursing jobs now, I got an offer for Med/Surg right out of school that I originally accepted but eventually backed out after basically having a mental breakdown LOL. I've had a couple of nursing jobs since then including psych and research and aesthetics because I wanted to see if getting away from the bedside would help at all, but it's all ended the same. I always end up a sobbing, anxious mess and I eventually quit. I really can't go on this way anymore, thinking about forcing myself to work as a nurse just makes me more and more depressed. I know it's not just new grad nerves and it's going to get better, my other nursing friends are all new grads and they're able to deal with the stress. I am just not wired to be a nurse, I can't do it.
What should I do? I'm really upset with the thought of having to leave this degree behind but I also know I cannot work as a nurse. Is there any kind of other degree I can add onto my BSN? Or does anyone have any ideas of alternate career paths? Thank you for any and all thoughts you can give.
Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.
For all the years I worked as a nurse, every one kept telling me : "You're so good, you should go back to school and get your RN." And I'd say, "Noooooo way!" I was happy as a clam being an LPN, and I did not want all the responsibilities of an RN! I would have been VERY unhappy being an RN, and I'm glad I knew that! The last three years I worked, it was as a NA doing private duty for old folks; I was tired of paying for license renewal and CEU's and didn't especially mind taking a salary cut. There was also NO WAY I would've gone back to work in a hospital or facility; the times had changed so much that nursing had become more of a headache than a way to make a living. I know private duty doesn't carry the same cache' as ICU, but it suited me to a "T". I would not, however, do a pediatric private duty case. Just give me a crabby old man and I can make him laugh. As long as a crabby old lady wasn't also a whiner, I would accept them as an assignment. I had some really neat, interesting old folks to take care of, and the time to enjoy them.
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. It really does mean a lot. I pray my life doesn't have to end because I hate my career now. That may seem like overboard to some people but you spend a lot of days at work and for it to make you feel lifeless, constantly shaking and hoping that you get through the shift fine, how could I have energy to want to live my life? Especially when I feel like I worked hard to suffer, unknowingly. I'm definitely looking for other doors to open trust me. That's been my mission since the day I worked as a nurse.
The day I felt perfectly fine was before being a nurse. I was a nurses assistant. I'm so happy that you are handling things well.
As an RN you work on the same environment and with the same patients as a CNA. Do you think it was the sudden burden of the extra responsibility of those new initials behind your name? With the extra benefits of being an RN comes the extra rewards. You generally don't get paid more for doing the same job you did before that new degree. Do you think that you are somehow not up to the responsibility of an RN? And, except for the extra anxiety that you have put on yourself, do you think that your performance is somehow under par for a new grad? That may not be a very realistic interpretation of your actual performance. You came to being an RN with a history of an abusive spouse. Have you had any treament for that trauma? But, on the other side of the coin, if you got into it just for the money to raise your family, then that was a bad decision. Deal with your trauma first before you walk away because there might be another RN position more suitable for you. It may not pay as much but it will be more than you made as a CNA.
No Stars In My Eyes
5,631 Posts
For all the years I worked as a nurse, every one kept telling me : "You're so good, you should go back to school and get your RN." And I'd say, "Noooooo way!" I was happy as a clam being an LPN, and I did not want all the responsibilities of an RN! I would have been VERY unhappy being an RN, and I'm glad I knew that! The last three years I worked, it was as a NA doing private duty for old folks; I was tired of paying for license renewal and CEU's and didn't especially mind taking a salary cut. There was also NO WAY I would've gone back to work in a hospital or facility; the times had changed so much that nursing had become more of a headache than a way to make a living. I know private duty doesn't carry the same cache' as ICU, but it suited me to a "T". I would not, however, do a pediatric private duty case. Just give me a crabby old man and I can make him laugh. As long as a crabby old lady wasn't also a whiner, I would accept them as an assignment. I had some really neat, interesting old folks to take care of, and the time to enjoy them.