I can't believe this is even happening...

[NopeNotToday, LPN, LVN]

Hi y'all. Long time member/lurker/reader. FIRST time poster.  And here I go. I'm an LPN. I work at a plasma donation center.

On Monday morning EARLY (0130-0330 at the LATEST) I couldn't sleep. Took HALF of a 10mg thc gummy. (Which I've taken before. NOT on a day I had to work, and had ZERO issues. Never more than half. Not every day. Not even multiple times in a month!) Fell asleep. Woke up. Fine. Get to work at my scheduled 1130. Fine. 1215-1230?: "HOLY CHIT. This is NOT OKAY.” (Commence freak out in my head. Like I was in a tunnel, time was moving HELLA slow.. couldn't focus on ANYTHING. Talking to the following felt like it was taking HOURS!) 

So. I go get one of the operations supervisors. Tell her (in my seemingly NOW over exaggerated PANIC) EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED/WHAT I DID... she goes and gets the assistant manager (who I've worked with for the past 3 years in the medical dept) prior to him becoming the AM.

The first thing he says "Why did you tell *operations supervisors name*???” 
Me: I just wanted SOMEONE to know that I CANNOT work like this. I did NOT realize that it was going to take THAT long to "kick in" and if I did know, I dang sure wouldn't have shown up to WORK and WORKED LIKE THIS. I cannot do physicals or even TALK like normal. This is BAD!.” (Commence freaking out again. While TRYING to pay attention to what he is saying.) 

long story short. He ended up speaking to corporate/HR. Came in to the office where I was with them on speaker phone. The words "reasonable suspicion" were used multiple times... well... NO DUH. I SAID SOMETHING. Hence. Reasonable suspicion. HR/Copprate ladies: "if the results are negative, we'll pay you for the time you're going to be off. If it's positive, then we'll go on to the next step of the process including and up to termination.” We get off the phone with them, and I ask "is there like an appeal process???” His answer? "Uh. You told everyone. So no. Probably not. You should have come to me FIRST, I could have just sent you home for the day.”

We went and did my drug test. Had to get a ride home (thank you to my sister).  And now, I'm waiting. 

I know (from reading 18364.2 other posts!!) that some of y'all have had similar instances. I've looked at several things:

1. Called EAP (thru my work insurance! And spoke to a therapist - which was more of a.. vent session)

2. LOOKED AT "self reporting" to IDFPR (I'm in IL) - emphasis on LOOKED. I'm NOT contacting them unless I HAVE TO and with an attorney!

3. IPHP (Illinois professional help... program?) was thinking that IF I could speak to someone ANONYMOUSLY (at first) then maybe that's at least SOMETHING. They don't answer today.

4. Works "health management services" (one of the ladies I spoke with via the phone on Monday was with this office.) BUT. They are out of the office today.

5. I even reached out to the REGIONAL manager. In attempt to IDK.. tell him exactly what happened? And he too is not answering the phone.

6. did a phone consult with an attorney who specializes in IDFPR shtuff. He told me "unless they tell you they're reporting you to IDFPR, we don't get involved. Just. RELAX. And don't ASK them if they are reporting it!”

Of course this is happening the week of thanksgiving.. everything is closed and no one is answering the phone.

Yall. This is BY FAR the stupidest decision I have EVER made in my professional/adult life. Yes. I'm a nurse. Yes I "know better" (to quote my momma. Also a nurse who is retired), and in my attempt to be COMPLETELY honest, and in holding myself accountable, it appears I have screwed myself. 

Thanks for letting me vent. Thanks for being here. 

-frustratingly mad/disappointed/MFpissed at myself!

[Nurse001]

If your AM really was that cool and nice about it then it may not hurt to ask if they're reporting you. When I got my DUI in my state they sent me a letter saying if I volunteered to go into the rehab program then the investigator wouldn't get involved. I ended up fighting it and got a year probation and a hit on my license. That hasn't stopped me with getting jobs. 

Worse case the board will set a date for a hearing and you'll be told to get a stupid drug evaluation and then they set another date to review it. 

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

I am not lecturing you. THC is always a bad drug for nurses. We can be tested at any time.. for any reason. Self reporting is like shooting yourself in the foot.  

[NopeNotToday, LPN, LVN]

@Nurse001 and @Been there,done that,

Thank you so much for the response!! 
I DID end up getting let go - no conversation with ANYONE in the higher-up corporate side of things AT ALL. Just a phone call from the AM (and another dept manager at the center) informing me that I was terminated. BOTH of them were crying, I was crying. It sucked. 
 

MY stupid choice, so I don't fault them (corporate) for them making the decision. policy is policy. Would have been nice to be able to explain myself.. but that was definitely a ME thing. According to the AM, they are NOT reporting (although they could/do have that choice obv.) he stated that "when we've had this type of situation with nurses before, it has NOT been reported ever.” So.. I guess we'll see. 
 

I have since had 3 different interviews and been offered a position at an ALF - which I am taking!

 

HUGE lesson learned here. Never EVER taking ANY gummy for any reason ever again. SOOOOO NOT worth it!!
 

IF anything further occurs, I'll let y'all know!!