I have been asked to be a Doula!

[PrincessRN]

Hi

First post for this newbie! A good friend of mine is having her first baby. She asked me to be her "doula" which I have never heard of before....

I am an RN, but other than school and having 3 kids (youngest is 18!) It has been a long time since I have been around L&D.

She will have her husband, probably her mother, the hospital staff, her MD, and me. So what is my role? She talks about me advocating for her--not a problem--but I am thinking her husband will be the "coach".

Where can I learn the non medical comfort measures that would be great, depending on how her labor goes? I want to be really good at this for her.

I would go to classes, or whatever, read books etc. And how does this go over at the hospital when you show up with all these people??

Any help you could give me would be great!

Thanks

[WorkofHeart8]

You can check out dona.org

[lpn1217]

Encourage your friend to write a birth plan,with her wishes hopes and desires.Example DO NOT OFFER PAIN MEDS.I KNOW THEY ARE AVAILABLE AND WILL ASK IF DESIRED. etc.

[BabyRN2Be]

One of the most important things to do is spend time with her, sit down and talk about all the she would want in her ideal birth. Keep in mind the word ideal: find out what she wants, but also state that in the real world ideal may not always be possible. If birth is not going "ideally", emphasize the parts of labor that are going well.

Suggest to her that she may want to visit something like http://www.birthplan.com. Yes, I know that most nurses and myself hate it when they come in with everything checked off like it's going to happen. If there's a few things that she really wants, take the time to educate her on those points. Have her talk to her physician. When doing a birthplan, the last thing I want is anyone to be "surprised" by a point on the plan. (For example: showing up at the hospital and refusing an IV). I have all my clients take a CONDENSED version of the plan to their physician and I have them sign it so that I know they've looked at the plan.

Sometimes I won't use a birthplan. If her plans do not deviate too far from what is considered a "natural childbirth" I don't use them because most nurses know what is included in a natural childbirth - no pain meds, breastfeeding, etc. If they use a birthplan, take a CONDENSED version to the hospital. I tell my clients: the nurses would like to know what you'd like, but they really don't have time to read a 10 page detailed plan, introducing in great detail who will be there (for example: my second cousin on my mother's side, Rachel will be there. However, we are just coming off a big fight after her surprise birthday party did not go well so I don't know if she'll be there blah blah blah), or any other nonpertinent information.

If you'd like some other pointers, please feel free to PM me. Otherwise, I might be here all day. :)

One more thing, you don't need to attend classes to be a doula. Anyone can be a doula. Just bring your heart and your hands.

[midwife2b]

If they use a birthplan, take a CONDENSED version to the hospital. I tell my clients: the nurses would like to know what you'd like, but they really don't have time to read a 10 page detailed plan, introducing in great detail who will be there (for example: my second cousin on my mother's side, Rachel will be there. However, we are just coming off a big fight after her surprise birthday party did not go well so I don't know if she'll be there blah blah blah), or any other nonpertinent information. :balloons:

I second this!!! And don't call it a birth "plan", keep it like a "wish list" or "birth desires". Anything more than one page is not read, I've experienced.

Some facilities still whisk the baby away to the nursery. You might emphasize certain desires if you know they are not common practice at the hospital she is birthing at.

At Christmas time I saw a family who had one very complicated 7 page birth plan that described exactly how, and where, the infant was to be resucitated if the need arose. No lie! The mom wanted the baby placed on the overbed table over her abdomen and the nurses were to do bag and mask/CPR/ meds/ etc. where she could see... and the cord COULD NOT be clamped under any circumstances until it stopped pulsating.

Fortunately (for me) this was a patient who was going to be delivered by the doctors. I directed her to the Neonatology Dept.

She had an uneventful birth thank goodness!

[tinyscrafts]

eeww. an online birth plan, ack!

Top five points MAX. fear triggers, sexual abuse history, religious needs and that's it!

w/ a separate care preferences page for the baby.

fun for you, but now you have to find out if she is hiring you to be a doula or a nurse? It can be hard to shake the fears and medical concerns if you know them, esp. if she wants to labor at home etc...