Jump to content

Husband not supportive


My 1st post here! I am a 37 yr old mom of 2 young boys. I currently run a licensed daycare out of my home and have for the last 5 yrs. Before that, I was a business analyst for a large company. While I've enjoyed the daycare, it's time for me to do something new. I'm very interested in nursing but am a bit overwhelmed thinking about it.

My husband thinks I should get a job in the Marketing/Communications field, which is what I have a BA in. This would allow me to start work as soon as I found a job so as not to have time period with no money. I kind of agree with him...I really can't afford to be without a job. And I already put 4 and half years into college for a degree. I should probably use it.

On the other hand, I can't stand the thought of another 8-5 cubicle job, which is what I'd be guaranteed to get in that field. I don't have any interest, let alone passion for that type of work.

If I went into nursing, I'd have to go to school for at least 2 years. How would I work those 2 years, when you are at the mercy of whenever the classes and clinicals are scheduled? I've been out of school for 15 years...what if I can't cut it anymore?

If I did go through all that, what if I can't get a job? I thought healthcare jobs were plentiful, but looking at the posts on this board suggest otherwise. I wouldn't really mind any setting...home health, nursing home, hospital. Would that make it any easier to find work?

Thanks for reading and any advice on my mid life (ok, not quite!) career crisis would be appreciated!

llg, PhD, RN

Specializes in Nursing Professional Development. Has 44 years experience.

Maybe now is not the time to go "all out" and into a nursing career. Maybe now you should focus on earning money and securing your family's future. All of the difficulties you have considered are very real and should be taken seriously.

If your heart is really set on nursing (and I'm not sure that yours is) ... why not start to explore it gradually while you earn money at a job that utilzes your current skills? Consider some of the following possibilities:

1. Look for a marketing/communications job in the health care world. We hire people like that. If you can't find such a job right away, take what you can get and keep looking. You might also use your skills in a volunteer position for a non-profit agency or organization that could really use your help. Such an activity would help you make connections that might lead to a job in health care that you could do with your current skills -- and also give you a chance to learn more about working in a healthcare environment.

2. Set aside a portion of your income to help cover expenses should you choose to go to nursing. As you realize, your ability to work will be substantially reduced while you go to school and you need to prepare for that ahead of time.

3. Take a couple of pre-requisite courses at a local community college. Taken 1 at a time, that would be inexpensive and it would give you a chance to see how you (and your family) adjust to your being in school. You'd be making real progress toward your nursing degree -- but still earning money.

4. Take a nursing assistant course (6-8 weeks) to see how you like that type of work. Who knows, maybe you could find a part-time marketing/communications job (for money) and a part-time CNA job to satisfy your desire to try patient care. Again, it would give you information to help make your longer term decision -- but involve less of an investment up front.

I doubt you could do ALL of my suggestions, but one or two of them might be a good choice for you right now. They would allow you to "dip your toe into the pool without jumping right into the deep end." With less up-front investment, you could explore the healthcare possibilities -- and get more information before making the big investment in a nursing degree.

You don't have to think about it as an "all or nothing" decision right now. Take it a little more slowly and ease into it -- going deeper and making a bigger investment only if your early experiences tell you that it is right for you.


Has 2 years experience.

since you already have a BA there are accelerated BSN programs that you could pursue..a lot are less than 18mths in length. One close to me is 15mths in length. Its usually not recommended to work more than 24hrs a week while in a nursing program..if you had to work I would suggest finding something in the evenings or weekends so it wouldnt conflict with your clinicals/class times. You could get your CNA license and easily find a weekend evening/weekend job part time.

I'm currently a back to schooler:) I got my BA in Marketing Communications in 2003, but long story short, never really got my foot in the door in a marketing job that I liked and took the wrong 1st job path.

After being laid off 2 times from the same company, I had to take an assessment of my career ambitions and strengths and weaknesses and came up with wanting to work in healthcare helping people. Right now I am home with my 5 month old baby, and have two other kids too. I have done serving and bartending before so I figured I could fall back on that once I get into nursing school in a couple years. But right now, I'm actually going to get my CNA (Certified Nurse Assistant) on the weekends and by March, I'll be ready to take the state CNA exam.

My hope is that I can start or land a CNA job at a hospital in the evenings so that I can still be around in the day for my kids while making money. When I start nursing school I'll have to access how much I can work when the time comes. But by then, at least I'll have some nursing experience and know that this is the right career choice for me before plunging into another Bachelor's degree.

Good luck with your decision!

For me, having an extremely supportive husband has helped soo much, if he wasn't onboard, I would probably not have the will power needed to continue with my nursing goal...

I think you should talk to your husband about his concerns. Yes, there are accelerated programs, but they are quite pricey and I am not sure you would be able to work and I have a feeling your husband probably does not want to rack up a fortune in student loan debt.

If you do decide this is what you want to do, I agree with the "taking it slowly" route. And yes, there are way to provide care without being a nurse.

Also, maybe you could become an LPN? It doesn't take as long. Of course, they typically do not earn as much as RN's and it may be harder to find a job, not that it is easy to find a job right now anyway.