HPMP

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Hi all, new to this, I've just entered the Virginia PHMP, I was told upon entering the time was 6 months- 5 years? I've read post that said its definitely 5 years? Why I've entered? I had a DUI in the past year and tried to commit suicide with morphine and dilaudid...I did not leave the premises I took it after my shift, was charting and sent to ER and it was found. I really am not sure this is what I need? Can I get some advice please? Thank you!

JB C said:

Never said Monitoring Agreements are from God. I said...the situation we often find ourselves IS from God. The nurse that attempted suicide doesn't randomly wake up one morning and do that. She is in severe pain leading up to that point. Mentally tormented. Hurting. The fact that she is now alive, didn't die, got caught/BON is aware the drugs came from the hospital is from God (in my opinion). It's His way of giving her a chance, a choice, do over to get better and return closer to him/get help/get better which benefits Her, her family, her friends, everyone around her. Purely my opinion. 

Agree with all of what you said except the BON and monitoring. This person has enough to deal with. They are going to be treated like a drug addict and criminal needlessly by the BON. I'm glad this person didn't die. 

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Healer555 said:

Agree with all of what you said except the BON and monitoring. This person has enough to deal with. They are going to be treated like a drug addict and criminal needlessly by the BON. I'm glad this person didn't die. 

Wait for it....wait for it.....they ARE a drug addict and criminal. So was I. Guess what? That's OK if you change. This person is also possibly a mom, a nurse, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a free spirit, someone with a great personality, someone that gets depressed, etc. Humans are MANY things, not just one or two things.

If you take drugs from the hospital that is not for patient use, that is a felony. If you are hooked on those drugs, then you are a drug addict..  You are many things as well, both good and bad.

I don't know if she is an addict or not. She didn't say whether she was addicted or not. The point is, you have two weights.

1. If you have mental health and addiction issues, and you like nursing and it's important financially, she will be in a program that fixes those things and guess what, she puts the work in and is no longer a criminal or addict. Those characteristics are gone.

2. The BON thinks or treats you like a criminal and addict? Who gives a *** what the BON "thinks." I don't. Number 1 above outweighs number 2.

Like I wrote, don't do drugs or alcohol, check in daily, test when you are selected, and there is no "treating" from the BON. You don't hear from them. You also will not here from your case manager as you are off their radar. I told you, I spoke with my case manager 8 times in 5 years and spoke to the BON after I had my consent order 2 times in 5 years. Once for a change of my address and once when the monitoring agreement was up. 

I find it amazing how many nurses are regularly "communicating" with their BONs while in monitoring. Why? Leave them alone and stay off their radar and they forget about you.

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Hey guys I didn't mean to start any issues. No I am not an addict I did take the meds from the hospital at the hospital after my shift ended. I deserve whatever they recommend to me, as I let my mental health get the best of me. I am a battered wife and I face my finally ex husband this tues in court. Being haunted and hidden and just too much to tell, his beatings kept getting worse. He hunted me down and strangled me in front of my adult kids and grand kids however...because I had him arrested..my children took his side because hes an alcoholic. They said as a nurse I shouldn't have left a "sick man" that it wasnt his fault. Please know I tried so hard to save my marriage. I couldn't bare the thought of losing my children, of ALL my accomplishments, Motherhood has been my best. I married at 15 to escape alcoholic parents, we got pregnant at 18 and wow...life was over but just begun. He was an amazing man for 20 years, the last 13 ... I don't know the man. Alcohol and gambling losing car after car, losing our homes..I buried my husband in my mind. I kept his secrets, my children kept them as well. The happiest time of my life was raising my 3 beautiful babies. everything got to be too heavy to carry and I was a coward and tried to escape this life. I tell you SOME of my story so you know I am not a monster, I'm a human who couldn't handle life and let it get the best of me. I know I did wrong I am completely responsible. Again I appreciate the comments.

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JB C said:

Wait for it....wait for it.....they ARE a drug addict and criminal. So was I. Guess what? That's OK if you change. This person is also possibly a mom, a nurse, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a free spirit, someone with a great personality, someone that gets depressed, etc. Humans are MANY things, not just one or two things.

If you take drugs from the hospital that is not for patient use, that is a felony. If you are hooked on those drugs, then you are a drug addict..  You are many things as well, both good and bad. Most humans have also possibly committed a felony at least once. If your time for a drug administration is off by 1 minute, but you charted it to ensure it was within that 30 minute window and moves the time by just 1 simple minute? That's a felony. A criminal act and 90 plus percent of nursed have done it. 

I don't know if she is an addict or not. She didn't say whether she was addicted or not. The point is, you have two weights.

1. If you have mental health and addiction issues, and you like nursing and it's important financially, she will be in a program that fixes those things and guess what, she puts the work in and is no longer a criminal or addict. Those characteristics are gone.

2. The BON thinks or treats you like a criminal and addict? Who gives a *** what the BON "thinks." I don't. Number 1 above outweighs number 2.

Like I wrote, don't do drugs or alcohol, check in daily, test when you are selected, and there is no "treating" from the BON. You don't hear from them. You also will not here from your case manager as you are off their radar. I told you, I spoke with my case manager 8 times in 5 years and spoke to the BON after I had my consent order 2 times in 5 years. Once for a change of my address and once when the monitoring agreement was up. 

I find it amazing how many nurses are regularly "communicating" with their BONs while in monitoring. Why? Leave them alone and stay off their radar and they forget about you.

 

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Su z, you are NOT a monster. You are a HUMAN being who is flawed like every other human being. Forgive yourself for the suicide attempt. LET IT GO! Mistake made, you learned from it, move on. You are forgiven. No, you not deserve everything the BON puts on you, but.....understand much of it is out of your control and be at PEACE knowing that. It's hard to do.  Your situation is horrible and no human deserves that treatment. 

I recommend going online and getting involved with support groups first and foremost for CPTSD and specifically, survivors of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Your husband sounds like a textbook case. Understand this, the situation you are in can and WILL get better and you WILL practice as a nurse again. 

Since you don't have SUD, a monitoring agreement shouldn't be that tough. Look, my 5 years wasn't that tough. Wake up, click phone, test that day if selected, turn in monthly report, comply with mental health treatment once a month (1 hour maybe 2) for 1 year.  If you do this, once you hear from the BON to get your consent order, you will not here from them again. You will only deal with a case manager and same for that person. You will hear very little from him or her if you are compliant and you will see that in 6 months, you will realize that 90 percent of the stuff you read on here about people's bad experience with the BON are outliers. People that have few to zero issues don't post and that is the Majority.

The Healer person on here is someone who doesn't have an SUD and doesn't like the BON and it's the same thing over and over. "BON is bad, always corrupt, she shouldn't be here because she doesn't have an SUD and everyone should get out of Nursing and not go through a monitoring program" yet........she remains in nursing and a monitoring program. 

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JB C,

I don't judge, we all have our own battles. I am putting my best foot forward and I will do everything you said to do. Appreciate you! Nursing has been a dream since I was 12, I'm not letting my "bad" outweigh my "good". I have faith that I will practice again as well. Have a good evening.

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Su-z said:

JB C,

I don't judge, we all have our own battles. I am putting my best foot forward and I will do everything you said to do. Appreciate you! Nursing has been a dream since I was 12, I'm not letting my "bad" outweigh my "good". I have faith that I will practice again as well. Have a good evening.

Same to you and best wishes. Your bad doesn't outweigh your good. The very fact that you are here asking questions and concerned about what to do already shows that. Most humans are good people and on occasion, we make bad decisions that pop up and hurt us, and many of those times, terrible circumstances brought on to us like abuse of whic you infairly suffered. It's all about what you do today, tomorrow. Past is past and we learn from it and move on. Don't dwell on it. Know you are forgiven for any part you played and that's it, your slate is wiped clean and all that matters is what you do from present to future. 

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JB C said:

Wait for it....wait for it.....they ARE a drug addict and criminal. So was I. Guess what? That's OK if you change. This person is also possibly a mom, a nurse, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a free spirit, someone with a great personality, someone that gets depressed, etc. Humans are MANY things, not just one or two things.

If you take drugs from the hospital that is not for patient use, that is a felony. If you are hooked on those drugs, then you are a drug addict..  You are many things as well, both good and bad.

I don't know if she is an addict or not. She didn't say whether she was addicted or not. The point is, you have two weights.

1. If you have mental health and addiction issues, and you like nursing and it's important financially, she will be in a program that fixes those things and guess what, she puts the work in and is no longer a criminal or addict. Those characteristics are gone.

2. The BON thinks or treats you like a criminal and addict? Who gives a *** what the BON "thinks." I don't. Number 1 above outweighs number 2.

Like I wrote, don't do drugs or alcohol, check in daily, test when you are selected, and there is no "treating" from the BON. You don't hear from them. You also will not here from your case manager as you are off their radar. I told you, I spoke with my case manager 8 times in 5 years and spoke to the BON after I had my consent order 2 times in 5 years. Once for a change of my address and once when the monitoring agreement was up. 

I find it amazing how many nurses are regularly "communicating" with their BONs while in monitoring. Why? Leave them alone and stay off their radar and they forget about you.

She could have gotten treatment without the BON 

And she's not an addict.  Not a criminal.  She was so depressed she made the choice to take medicine from work ro end her life. Instead of compassion she gets a monitoring agreement.  Effing insane 

I can't imagine any judge finding her guilty of a felony in this instance 

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Su-z said:

Hey guys I didn't mean to start any issues. No I am not an addict I did take the meds from the hospital at the hospital after my shift ended. I deserve whatever they recommend to me, as I let my mental health get the best of me. I am a battered wife and I face my finally ex husband this tues in court. Being haunted and hidden and just too much to tell, his beatings kept getting worse. He hunted me down and strangled me in front of my adult kids and grand kids however...because I had him arrested..my children took his side because hes an alcoholic. They said as a nurse I shouldn't have left a "sick man" that it wasnt his fault. Please know I tried so hard to save my marriage. I couldn't bare the thought of losing my children, of ALL my accomplishments, Motherhood has been my best. I married at 15 to escape alcoholic parents, we got pregnant at 18 and wow...life was over but just begun. He was an amazing man for 20 years, the last 13 ... I don't know the man. Alcohol and gambling losing car after car, losing our homes..I buried my husband in my mind. I kept his secrets, my children kept them as well. The happiest time of my life was raising my 3 beautiful babies. everything got to be too heavy to carry and I was a coward and tried to escape this life. I tell you SOME of my story so you know I am not a monster, I'm a human who couldn't handle life and let it get the best of me. I know I did wrong I am completely responsible. Again I appreciate the comments.

You definitely are not a monster.  I would suggest you get therapy outside of the monitoring agreement.  Sounds like you were a human being who was in a great deal of pain. 

Good luck to you 

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Healer555,

Thank you. 

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Healer555 said:

She could have gotten treatment without the BON 

And she's not an addict.  Not a criminal.  She was so depressed she made the choice to take medicine from work ro end her life. Instead of compassion she gets a monitoring agreement.  Effing insane 

I can't imagine any judge finding her guilty of a felony in this instance 

Nobody ever wrote she would be found guilty. She will not go to trial. There will be no charges. The BON has ZERO to do with treatment. The BON can and will ensure that this nurse gets treatment if she wants to remain a nurse. It's easy to say someone should get treatment in hindsight, but she is already on the radar of the BON, so at this point, if nursing is something she loves, get treatment and go under consent order and knock out 2 birds with one stone.

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Just to be clear. A monitoring agreement does not give or provide treatment. Treatment is something the nurse gets on her own. If wanting to stay a nurse, then the monitoring agreement will require the nurse to seek treatment which is the nurses choice of where and who provides it and that provider will send a report yo the BON. 

If Healer is implying what I think she is, she is telling you to get out of Nursing because seeking treatment "outside of the monitoring agreement" whatever that means, is implying Not to do the monitoring agreement which means no nursing. I recommend against this. You said you love nursing. Continue with it. Go under consent order/monitoring agreement to keep your license and give it a try and if after 1 year you don't like it, then move on. You don't have to stay in the monitoring agreement. If you are already in a monitoring agreement (and you will be If you stay in nursing) that agreement will require you to seek treatment, so you are already seeking treatment anyway "outside of the monitoring agreement" inside, to the left, to the right, irrelevant as to what is "inside or outside of the monitoring agreement" LOL.

 

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