How do you say no to a nursing buddy?

[IvyIV]

Hi all,

Hoping I could get your advice on this matter...

I have a nursing buddy who is a nice person, a nice friend. We never had any actual classes together until this semester and now I'm not so sure I'd like to work with her again. She's chronically late, very forgetful, and last-minute night before projects are basically how she runs her life (I take every effort not pull all-nighters). She bashes the program constantly too, which doesn't help. Calling me last year and asking me questions about important due dates and other things wasn't a problem, but now it's getting old, and going into our last semester I think we should all be more on top of things at this point. I guess I didn't know how bad things were until I was actually paired up in a group with her.

So now that I know for a fact she will be in 2 of my lectures, how do you say I don't want to work with you/work on projects with you/carpool with you to clinicals without ruining the friendship? (We don't hang out together outside of school, so it's more or less a close acquaintance) People also tend to avoid her as well so I know I'll be the first she's going to run to when we need to pair up.

Thanx

[missjennmb]

You could always do what I do... be honest. :)

I have some friends that talk a lot more than I would like to, during "study times" but they swear they learn more by my group study methods, so I told them that I'd give an hour per test to our 'group' and thats what I do. It has worked really well, in letting us all spend time together friendly, without it getting in the way of my studies, and it has helped me some as well, since its an addition to what I do, not instead of.

For driving together, I had someone I was supposed to buddy up with, but I changed my mind and just let her know that I was going to be going in earlier than her/leaving late/going on to work at times/etc so it would not work out. I have not hurt any of my friendships this way, and been able to maintain my study habits (and keep a low 90% in my nursing classes thus far) even with a near full time job, evening AP1 class, and a family of 5 to care for, simultaneously.

I would really urge you to be honest, in a nice way. I, like you, need to avoid all nighters at all costs, because I don't learn well that way. I also tend to screw up "last minute projects" because I'm in a rush and don't have time to double check my work with a fresh set of eyes (as opposed to after 4 hrs of working on it). Just tell her her style doesn't work for you and don't make it all drama filled or negative or a big deal and I think you'll be fine. :)

[Daytonite, BSN, RN]

"i know i'll be the first she's going to run to when we need to pair up."

try not to be around where she can find you. if she does, tell her you are already paired up with someone. lie if you have to.

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

"Thanks, I have a partner."

"Oh, carpooling won't work any more. My {insert excuse} happnes after and I won't be going home."

[uscstu4lfe]

it's only one more semester. do your best to ignore her/tough it out

[Cherry2000]

The best thing to do would to become "very busy". You said she doesn't know you outside of school so she has no way of knowing what you are really doing. What I have done so far is to make myself available if I can. If I can't, then I can't. A friend of mine said that she didn't want to take the nursing math class next semester because she was too busy. She said that she would just have me help her. I just looked at her and smiled and said that I would if I had time, but that maybe it would be better if she didn't count on me. Just be nice, but be firm. There may be some hurt feelings in the beginning but it will blow over and really each person has to be responsible for themselves.