How do you possibly study with YOUNG kids???

[TryingNot2BeScared]

I need some serious help as I am about to give up and be in ALOT of student loan debt. I started an LPN 10 month accelerated program this week and I am sooo overwhelmed. I have a special needs (on the spectrum) 4 year old and a 9 month old....and a 40 year old child (hubby).

I try to study in my room and my 4 year old just bangs on my door non stop...he is SOOO needy...he asks me for something every 2 minutes. If he is finally calm doing something then my daughter needs something...its non stop until everyone is finally sleeping by 900-930. By this time I have been up since 530am, school 8-3...including a commute of an hour each way. Then I come home clean after the disaster that occurs during the day because my husband stays home with them (he sits in a chair on facebook and playstation alllll day-but somehow manages to keep the kids alive), cook dinner and then I am done. I am so stressed and can't focus on anything. I still worry about the bills, finances, grocery shopping, car maint, on and on....and no I cannot talk to my husband because if I do he just says he is going to leave. I can't imagine trying to do this while being separated on top of it. Although I know in my heart it is going to happen one day. I could go on and on...but I just need some advice.

How do you single mothers do it??? I basically am putting myself in the mindset of being a single mother. Granted yes he does stay home with them everyday all day...and I know its HARD...I do....but he doesn't do all the typical house maintaining that should go along with being a SAH dad...no doctor appts...nothing.

Should I quit or try to make it work? Its day 3 and I am in tears already. Please note I am a tough cookie...I got my AS in Biology while pregnant and working one full time and one part time job, so I know I can....I just need someone to give me an honest opinion. Thank you for listening.

[TryingNot2BeScared]

I hope so...hubby and I are definitely separating, he finally came home at 4am last night...so I am done. My mom watched both kids for 10 hours yesterday while I worked. She wanted him to get a break from the kids, have time to apply for jobs and straighten up the house....what does he do go out all day and night...comes home at 4am. I am done. If I can make it through emotionally right now I hope I can finish school. He keeps telling me over and over that I told him I was doing this...he had no choice. He did, and he agreed to this. Of course if he would get off his lazy ass I would not be killing my self working and going to school all these years. Argh. Ok everyone I am done venting...thank you sooooo much for all your kind words of advice.

[skye614]

Totally get it, I have a 2 year old(also on the spectrum), I go to school 5 days a week 8-330pm. My husband works 2 full time jobs from midnight to 8 am then his other job from 8am to 430pm, basically that makes me a single mother and responsible for most everything.... to be honest, The kids wont change, they are kids, but the person that needs to change is your husband, he should be a support to you, not another burden. If he is a stay at home dad, then he should be taking them to the doctors appts, and handling at least some of the burden of housework. I truly can get nothing done when my son is awake... I open a book, and he shuts it, so I gave up as it only made me more frustrated, sometimes I want to cry... but my husband is understading about things, he does try and give me some time on the weekends to myself so I can go and study, I also try to sit in my car for maybe an hour before I pick my son up from daycare... then after he goes to bed, I try and get stuff done too... it is extremely hard for all mothers ( and fathers) who are trying to balance a family life and go to school. But it can be done...I told my husband from the very beginning when I was applying to school, I need one year, it will be a sacrifice, but you need to give it to me.... It has made extra work for all of us, me with taking on full time school, while trying to raise a toddler, and manage a house... and him because he basically works all the time and gets no sleep or time for himself... I cry when I think about a night that he has off and instead of us being able to watch a movie or just sit and talk, I have to study, and he has to get the kid to bed.... but it is only a small amount of time before you are a nurse, working hard, but more able to enjoy the family that you have!!!! I wish you the best of luck!!!!

[GoNavyHopefulRN]

Everyone here rocks.

@TryingNot2BeScared: I will think good thoughts for you. You will come out of this one tough woman and a hell of an LVN! When you do get through this, know that you have the fortitude to continue until you've reached the top.

[TryingNot2BeScared]

You guys really do rock!! I only wish I knew each one of you personally and we could be each others support system :) Now back to hitting the books I go...my mom has my 9 month old ALL weekend...my mom rocks too!