How do I survive a crazy schedule, with kid, husband who works even crazier schedule?

carolmaccas66, BSN, RN · Aug 2, 2010

Working shiftwork affected my relationship with my ex-fiancee, though we didn't have children. I hated the fact we hardly ever saw each other.

I was just thinking can you split your nights up so you have more of a break inbetween, ie: if your hubby works more crazy hours on a Saturday can you take that day off maybe? Or work Monday, Wed, Friday so you have more time together? Can you work during the day maybe instead of nights, or go on a rotating roster?

You might have to enlist the help of a family member to help out with baby sitting, I think though you have probably thought of that.

Good luck.

JenRN30, BSN · Aug 4, 2010

I am in the exact same situation. My husband is a regional sales manager and travels most weeks. We have a 3 yr old and a 1 year old. He schedules his own travel, but there are many weeks when he has to go Mon-Fri. So, knowing that it would not work for me to be scheduled during the week, I got a weekend option night position. I'm hating it so much. I leave for work at 5:45pm Fri, and my husband most likely just got home from the airport around 3 or 4pm. I work Fri, Sat, Sun night, get home Monday morning around 8am, and he's just dropped off the kids at daycare and left for the airport. I'm miserable, but not really sure what to do. I'm thinking about trying to find an 8-5 position somewhere, but with only 6 mos I'm not sure they'd want to hire me. Have you thought about an office position, or cath lab?

surferbettycrocker · Aug 5, 2010

i have been wondering how i would make this job and kids and husband work. i have heard for sooo long that nursing is sooooooo flexible and greeeeeat for moms yet you work crazy hours are often beyond tired off shift and must work w/e and holidays in hospital... so i ask you working moms---were female nurses sold a bill of goods? cuzz i aint buyin it! :jester: :spbox:

Cherry2000 · Aug 5, 2010

My husband and I are in a similar situation. He works a weekend shift and I'm training on days but going to nights in a couple of weeks. I hardly ever see him because I work on the days he has off and vice versa. I'm looking forward to when I get some say over my schedule because I plan to work same days as he does...at least Monday and Friday. That way we can spend time together. My advice is to try to figure out how you can afford a sitter. Otherwise it will be very difficult to rearrange your schedule. Good luck!

jk82 · May 31, 2013

I currently have a job that is M-F 8-2, no weekends or holidays..However, I have a toddler and baby #2 on the way and I'm trying to decide if I should go back to working 12hour shifts.. I can work per diem since I don't need benefits and make a little more money only working 2-3days a week. The trade off is some weekends and holidays (although I can pick my schedule) along with the chaos and stress of floor nursing! I really don't know what's best for my family?! I get home by 3pm now and have most of the afternoon at home, but would it be better to have more days off?? Each have their pros and cons and I need daycare either way.... It's stressing me out! Any advice?! What do you prefer as a mom?

CP2013 · Jun 3, 2013

i have been wondering how i would make this job and kids and husband work. i have heard for sooo long that nursing is sooooooo flexible and greeeeeat for moms yet you work crazy hours are often beyond tired off shift and must work w/e and holidays in hospital... so i ask you working moms---were female nurses sold a bill of goods? cuzz i aint buyin it!:spbox:

I think that blew up.

Think about it. Every new nurse to a unit only wants to work weekends and sped the whole week with their kids while hubby works 9-5 Mon-Fri. Um...nursing is a 24/7 job. Someone has to do it, and people who have the weekend options aren't letting go of it, because they still have kids to raise!

To the OP, suffer through the experience as much as possible for now, then start applying to place that have better hours.

For example, a friend of mine works OR, and she works 5am-3pm. She just had her first baby and hubby works 9-5 Mon-Fri and his mom watches the baby until they can come pick the munchkin up.

If you don't have a support system, it's very difficult to have a family and be a nurse unless someone else is the primary caregiver for your children.

Places like OR, outpatient clinics, doctor's offices. Also try smaller hospitals in rural areas, yes that may mean moving. Sometimes they have more options available for weekends or nights or working around your schedule because there isn't a flood of other nurses in those rural areas.

Ultimately, in this market, your home issues are not a concern to your employer. You have to understand that there are anywhere from 10-100 other nurses who have applied and are willing to do your job should you decide you can't handle the hours. Lets be honest, there is no shortage. You don't get to make the rules. It's an employers market. They can pay you less and work you harder than ever before because if you don't take the job and all that comes with it, someone else will.

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SNB1014, RN · Jun 4, 2013

does your facility have an EAP (employee assistance program) to help offset the cost of childcare?