How am I supposed to explain myself?????

[CynthiaG]

I graduated last December and started working in a nursing home. I lasted about a week. It was stressful and I couldn't do it. I felt at that time that if I didn't get a job in a doctors office or something low stress I just wouldn't be able to be a nurse. Well I kinda picked myself up and decided to go for a hospital job.

Applied for a med-surg residency and ended up snagging my "dream job" L&D. I thought I had been blessed with this amazing gift of the job that I had wanted all along. WRONG!!! I ended up having a nervous breakdown! I felt completely fine going into that job but as soon as I was there and started getting into the role I just couldn't handle the idea of having that much responsibility. When I went to my manager with my concerns they decided to move me to OR which I was very happy with but it pretty much made all the seasoned nurses hate me and I was getting a lot of flak for it.

Long story kinda short with all that stress and one blow after another I quit.

I have a history of anxiety and have had a really really really rough year and start to my nursing career. For months I swore I just couldn't do it. I am so optimistic and really feel like I can do anything I put my mind to. I have never been a quitter. No one gets through nursing school otherwise especially when they have a small child.

Did I just expect too much of myself?

Did I undergo so much stress for so long I finally just broke?

I started school when my daughter was 4 months old and in nursing school I was the secretary for the SNA. I did pretty well in nursing school and I was known for having my stuff together and knowing my stuff. For the last cpl months I have been sub nursing for a local school district. I have been doing well and I really enjoy it. I really haven't experienced anxiety about my role/responsibility even when there is an emergency. Why on earth am I feeling so anxiety-free even though I am most of the time all by myself, passing meds, first aid, head injury assessments, asthma attacks, vomiting, fevers, restraint assessments, managing the diabetics care plans, insulin pumps, getting called outside and running because I get a call and they don't know if the child is conscious or not etc.......

I have been on some anxiety meds after my last meltdown. I am starting to feel really really comfortable with the idea of returning to the hospital and trying to land a peds position. I love school nursing so much but I feel like I am missing out of the great experience the hospital will give me and I am craving the satisfaction I had in nursing school. I miss the skills and the IV's and the fun stuff. I really do want to be an excellent nurse.

I want to be someone who knows what they are doing like for real :) I get way jealous when I see my friends prospering in their roles as RN's. I know its not easy for them either and It wont be easy for me but I really want it. Some things have settled down in my home life as well which I am sure will ease my stress.

How do I explain my job hopping on my resume to make it sound not so CRAZY?????

[llg, PhD, RN]

Are you currently receiving counseling about your anxiety disorder? If not, I suggest you pursue that -- as it may help you sort out your many questions. You want to work in a hospital, but have not been able to handle the stress of such a job. Before you take another try at it, you need to be really sure your anxiety issues are well under control. As part of that counseling, you could talk about strategies for discussing your past issues in a way that sounds reassuring to a prospective employer.

You also may need to establish a long-term track record of success and stability in your current job before another employer will take a chance on you. By my count, you have had 4 jobs in the last 10 months. That's a lot -- and there may be nothing you can SAY that will erase the doubt raised by that job history. You may have to SHOW your stability by sticking with your current job for a while before an employer will take the chance to hire you.

[CynthiaG]

The OR was the same department as L&D so its really only one job. I also have a professional letter of recommendation from the ADON at the nursing home. The job I'm at now is only my 3rd job and I don't plan on quitting. By the time I can apply to the pediatric hospital I will have around 6 months experience at my current job. I will only be applying for the RN residency position. I am only seeing a PCP for my anxiety. She wants me in counseling but I cannot afford it financially at this time. I' doing the best I can do . I also plan on getting letters of reccomendation from the nurses I sub for as I have developed a good relationship with them.

[DizzyLizzyNurse]

Did you know going into nursing that most nursing jobs have a certain amount of stress that goes with it? It is totally normal to be stressed and anxious for AT LEAST the first few months on the job. I've been at my current job for 6 months and I just started feeling comfortable in the last month. And I have a few years of experience in a different type of nursing.

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

Find a counselor that works on a sliding fee scale. Letters of recommendation are great but only if your issues are honestly under control. School nursing is a very different animal than acute care.Best of luck in your healing.