How to deal with a toxic/negative clinical instructor who is insecure?

[Hellostudentnurssee]

There was talk of this difficult clinical instructor from months ago - she (allegedly) was verbally abusive with her students. She failed one student because her english wasn't "Americanized English". One teacher found out and demanded to bring the student back and she was in trouble for failing the student because of that reason. You try not to feed into the hype but you're very cautious. Student who have had her have advised us to be SUBMISSIVE as possible yet confident. I grew up with a family of nurses and believe me, when I say I'm very "humbled". I am very aware that I really don't know as much as nurses and I have great respect for the nurses that come before me, especially the older nurses. My own mother is a nurse and has even instilled in me to really value and respect older nurses. I appreciate constructive criticism because in the real world, I want to get it right.

When I met my instructor she seems to have "calm down" but I did sense she is someone who gets an ego trip by tearing others down. I've had to change my approach and can't really be myself just to adjust to surviving with her. Anyhoo, I'm very open to any kind of criticism. As I got to know her, I liked how this instructor didn't sugarcoat things and kept it "real world"; however, she's one of those older nurses who "eat their young" and seems like a miserable, low self-esteem person. When we were going through case studies, I felt she picked on me a bit more than the others. Her criticism was more "catty", dry/sarcastic rather than constructive. At one point, she tried to look me in the eye, was in my face and FELT that she was really wanting to intimidate me and tear me down. I made the mistake of looking her in the eye and the negativity went in me and could not focus. Surprisingly, I didn't take it personal and continued to smile throughout the rest of the time (my body told me to keep being kind). I also noticed when my colleagues and I were having small discussions (which we are allowed to do when evaluating) she would look at me, and assumed we were talking about her. At the end of it, she didn't just tell me to fix something on my scrubs but she had a 10 minute "lecture" on how my uniform is ugly and what exactly "petite" is. But when I got home, I started to feel so RESENTFUL and angry. In my gut, I felt that she did more than "criticize" me. I hate that she even tried to attempt at knocking my confidence and tear me down. I asked family members and nursing friends for advice and one of them said teachers, (especially women who are older) can tell who is a confident/secure person vs. one who isn't. I told her I was "submissive, quiet" and adjusted myself to her but they all agreed she sense the "confidence" in me right away. Believe me, I'm NOT a "ms. know it all" nor am I aggressive but it seems like I have an insecure person to deal with... please help me... I need advice

I've heard these so far: don't look her in the eye , stand straight, continue to kill her with kindness, think positive thoughts...

PS: When our previous teacher was briefly mentioned, she turned ANGRY within seconds. Apparently, there was rumor they hated each other. Our previous teacher was the one that saved the ESL student from failing... guess the rumors are true. They do hate each other. I was so shocked at how she became so angry and said to throw away any papers she had given us...

[ashulee89]

First off, sorry that you have to go through this. I do hope that it gets better.

Honestly, I've been told by several about the nurses that "eat their young" and that I should expect it. I just start clinicals this month and I've found myself or my classmates experiencing rudeness from nurses on our site. I was there last week and one of my classmates was scared to go ask a nurse for a patient's MAR because she rudely threw the MAR and scolded a student when she requested it. The way I see it, that nurse has that MAR and I need it or else I can't get a large portion of my work done. She can throw it across the hall for all I care, either way I'm going to get it and I'm going to smile and tell you thank you. Its not fair, but unfortunately it seems its happening to alot of people frequently. I commend you being respectful towards your instructor despite her looks or attitude. All I can tell you is that you can either report it or continue to do what you're doing.

All I can really offer is to continue to kill them with kindness and to choose your battles. Some people really hate their situations, are stressed that day or whatever. If it were me, I'd continue to smile and take the heat. I have someone to take care of that day and a grade to make. Both of those are very important. Far more important than tending to someone who is going to constantly accuse or be negative around.

Goodluck and let me know how it goes! :)

[Band]

Sometimes talking with classmates about it can help, chances are they will agree with you, they can be some sort of support for you. A couple of my classmates have come up to me and talked about the instructor's attitudes towards them and as a result they went home and cried. The whole nursing world is stressful for anyone, just focus on the education that you are getting.

I'm sorry if I couldn't help, I had just started nursing school.. and we're experiencing this already

[kgh31386, BSN, MSN, RN]

I have a couple of questions...did she say the exact words, "your uniform is ugly?". And why pay so much attention to the rumors, especially rumors of what teachers hate others and who got failed for bad English? If I were an instructor and crap like that started going around about me, I may not be the most perky, happy, supportive, instructor either. Not to say you have a valid reason to feel how you feel or see what you see in this person...but think about this.

Suppose this instructor was this perky, happy, nice, supportive teacher 2 or 3 semesters ago. However, that semester she had a group of 2 or 3 students in each clinical group that goofed off, gossiped, BS'd stuff, slacked off, and overall didn't deserve to pass. So what happens when that instructor has to fail someone? The true reason why someone failed is almost NEVER publicized. If someone failed for a true mistake, lack of competency...they often times will twist it into "the teacher just hated me, she thought my uniform was ugly, she didn't like how I did this or that and it's not fair". This rumor spreads like wildfire that such and such teacher fails people for no reason, and that mess will get passed on semester to semester. So as the time goes on, students who have this teacher will be muttering under their breath all the negative things and looking at this teacher with the stink eye......for no real reason. I'd react in a negative way if I were a teacher.

[xtxrn, ASN, RN]

A student's job does not include analyzing their instructor. It's to get through the class. Period.

It's fairly off-putting to read that you assume so much, and aren't out of school yet. Become a nursing instructor, and re-evaluate your opinion about this person.... and don't listen to "what people say".... very few good traits are discussed, just the trash.... and that's usually what it is.

[caliotter3]

Do what you are there to do or you might find out you concentrated on the wrong things. Remember, no matter what your opinion of her, she is the instructor, and she has the power to see that you succeed or to see that you fail.

[barachi]

I have one of those this semester luckly my lecture teacher is the boss on campus and she's going to help me out.. its total bs to be so stressed about the clinical setting