How close do you get?

ladytraviler · Dec 18, 2003

When you quit feeling for your patients death, then it is time to get out of nursing. When you work with someone for an extended length of time, it is natural to develop a relationship. There is no crime in that. It means you are human and still have your emotions.

Give yourself time to grieve just like you would anyother friend. I hope you have a good cry and let yourself feel bad. Then remember that you got into nursing to make a difference. From your post, it sounds like you enhanced her life just like she did yours. Don't beat yourself up.

Tutti · Dec 18, 2003

I'm not sure what makes me the way I am, but I seem to be able to have really good relationships with my Patients, yet, when they pass away, I may be sad for a very short time, but I have never cried or grieved for long. I suppose It makes a big difference since I work in LTC, but others cry.... I guess I see it as a relief for them. They all tell me not to get old, and i watch them suffer for so long.....I'm sure I would be different working with a younger crowd.

Marti Ann · Dec 26, 2003

I worked a case 5 years ago, for a male PT who has MS and lives in a nursing home.I helped solved his case. He has an ex-wife and a daughter. I am the only one who visits him now in the nursing home. He has been to our home for many holidays. I pay for all the fun expenses and yummy food when I visit him, being a quad, food it his only pleasure. I bring home made treats and we chat for hours. He is like a member of my family. So yes, as nurses we do get close, sometimes a little to close, but isn't that why we choose to be nurses. I once heard a saying that" nurses have a higher level in heaven" maybe its because we are angels in disguise here on earth.

keep up all the great work and keep giving that love from your hearts, it makes those tough day more bearable!!!

Rapheal · Dec 26, 2003

Not very close. I try to not think about patients after work hours unless it is to reevaluate my interventions. It is the only way to keep my heart from being broken because there is so much sadness every day.

mattsmom81 · Dec 26, 2003

where we care but don't become too involved. Sometimes we can't help but get personally involved and it can end in heartache if we are tender hearted. Depression if we can't let it go.

Luckily I had good instructors who talked with us a lot about keeping a professional distance as a means to combat burnout. We do indeed see a lot of sad things and if we take them too much to heart this can take a toll on us.

I hope today's instructors are talking about professional burnout and include topics dealing with workplace demandsas well as family/patient demands.. This was not such a problem back in the 70's as it is today..

mjw · Jan 18, 2004

Hello all i have a question and i hope you may be able to help me I am currently taking a NVQ 3 in care one of the question is a as follows

What are the warning signs that might indicate the becomming too involved with individual patients?

I have a few ideas of my own but if you have some i would like to hear from you so i can compare answers.

With best regards to the most important job there is Caring.

Maggie:roll

SmilingBluEyes · Jan 18, 2004

Try NEVER to take it home with you. I have learned to seperate my work and home lives for the sanity of my family and myself. It's best IF you can do this.

SURE death is very deeply affecting. Sure we see people we care about die in the hospital. It's awful and sad. But be careful to draw the line .....

Sometimes, to "decompress", I will take a hot bath, light candles and discuss the distressing details of my shift with my husband in the privacy of our bathroom, away from the kids...... He is a wonderful listener and friend. Doing this assists me to "let it go" and move on with my homelife.

Or else, you can always vent to coworkers who KNOW how it feels and how these things affect you. It's appropriate to do this! And it can bond you to some of them; some of my best friends are coworkers by virtue of shared experiences and talking it out together. It's healthy.

Never stop caring; it's what makes you special! Just know there is a time and place for it all and your family needs ALL of you at home.

Good luck. You sound like a caring person to me; a definate PLUS in a nurse. Like I said, Never stop caring, just learn the boundaries. You will.:kiss