How do you balance work\family\school?

Nurses General Nursing

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Hi .. I am a single mom of two, and have decided to go back to school to finish my nursing degree. The biggest fear I have is right now is how to balance it all! :banghead:

I think this is what held me back for so long. I am 37 now and bored with cubicle life, and feel it is a good a time as any to complete my degree, and I want to be an inspiration to my kids.

Anyone going through the same situation, I would appreciate any words of wisdom...thanks! :bow:

Specializes in ICU.

I just finished my BSN on May 16th. I was able to move out of the state with my boys who were 8 and 6 at the time and move in with mom. So I am lucky, no rent to be paid, I pay for food for us and the electric. My boys and I have shared a room for three years now to cut down on expenses. My mom works alot, so she couldn't help alot when it came to clinicals, so I took out lots of loans to live off of and pay sitters with. My ex lives several states away so I am a full time single mom. I worked most of the last year caring for an elderly woman a few hours a day, and then when that job ended, I was a mother's helper about 12-18 hours a week. I found that once I made up my mind to get through it things worked themselves out along the way. It was hard and like someone said if I had to study I took the kids to the park or the swimming pool and studied while they played. My boys were really supportive and helpful as far as letting me study when I had to, and no one was prouder of me graduation day then them. I did feel like I missed some stuff with my boys because I was so busy or tired and now I am making up for it while I am off this summer before the job starts. You need to be organized with your time. I graduated with a 3.48 and made the Sigma Theta Tau, which I am so proud of, and ultimately I thought that it would be harder than it turned out to be. BUT It was a loooong road, and there were days I wanted to give up or just stay in bed and cry cause it was hard, but now it was all worth it. I will start as an ICU nurse end of July as long as I pass NCLEX. :yeah:

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I had a friend whose spouse was deployed to Afghanistan for one year during her schooling, and then the NEXT year got sent away again overseas with the military. So, for the two years she was in school, he was gone leaving her with a very rambunctious 4 year old son. She also was pregnant the 2nd year (of course, somehow that always happens -- he did get home for "visits" :wink2:) but she managed to graduate with a 4.0 and was Sigma Theta Tau as well. Very smart and now an ICU nurse.

Not that she didn't have hard times. Many times she would cry to me, would be so exhausted she could cry again -- she had to sell her house and move during this time as well. I watched very warily as she was in her 8th month at graduation and yet still had a month to go until he came back AND was coordinating yet another move to the other side of the country to where she was going to have to go ALONE and meet him the next month. :(

Her biggest advice to me always was to take everything ONE DAY at a time. If you think to tomorrow, even next week, you will just get totally overwhelmed.

And things always worked out. We relied on each other a lot as well. I would just take things day by day and somehow things always worked out. I don't know how sometimes ....but they did.

And these coping skills defintiely transfer now to working as a nurse full time and having to continue to hire sitters, keep the house up, keep running to school events, keep a marriage going, etc. It's hard to be a mom in school and it's hard to be a working mom also.

You get organized and you also learn to let go what can be let go of. Usually you don't miss those things you've let go of either! Keep the priorities. (sort of like nursing).

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Hi

Thank you so much for all your advice. It is great to know other people have made it. I think the hardest thing will be not being as available for extra activities with the kids. Mine are now 15 and 11, so they are not "babies" but still need alot of attention, but I can only take one day at a time and hope for the best. Like so many people have said, it will pay off in the long run.

I just hope I make it!! LOL:loveya:

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Thank you so much for sharing your story and your friends story.

It is great inspiration!

Things are not always easy, but somehow if you want it bad enough, it can be done. It is great that you had each other for support. I think the most important piece of advice is to take it one day at a time, and not get overwhelmed.

Good luck to you!

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I know I am definitely going to need the help of friends and family, and so far they have been supportive of the idea of me going back to school. I know it is going to be difficult because I will actually need to take time for myself, but the idea of a "team effort" is great. My older son is 15, so he can definitely help with the younger one, who is 11. I will just need to keep my eye on the prize and remember it will be worth it for all of us in the long run.

I was thinking about labor\delivery or NICU...what about you?

Good luck to both of us!

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It is so nice to hear positive feedback, thank you for sharing your story.

It sounds like you went through alot also, so congrats to you!

I know that my kids and I will really have to work as a team, if I am going to get this accomplished. I will also have to be creative in finding study time!

Good luck to you!

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It is nice to hear you will still have some free time to do what you enjoy!! I am sure it also helps with the stress you go through. LOL..

I am going to look into different grants that hopefully are available, thanks for that idea! I had not thought about that, it would be a great help. Thanks for sharing your story..good luck to you!

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Congratulations to you...you should be proud of yourself!

Don't worry that you feel like you have "no life"...(I feel like that all the time..LOL) You have been through so much and have accomplished your goal!

Thank you for sharing your story..it gives me the courage I need to move forward.

Best of luck to you!

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Specializes in Wound & Ostomy care, Hyperbarics, Neuro.

Alot of great responses here!:up: I would say just take your time as it works with your family and schedule. It seems like Ive been in and out of college for ever:yawn: but luckily able to work in Home Health with a flexible schedule as I hammer away at advancing my nursing career with two children, a husband with some health issues and aging parents. Just remember to take a break for you too...easier said than done though! Best of luck to you!:yeah:

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Hi Denise,

I am also a single mom of 2. I work a full time job during the day, and I also decided to go back to school to complete my Nusing degree. I started class in the evening about 2 weeks ago...and summer classes at that, so it is quite a bit more intense than a semester length class. I have been up until midnight everynight trying to stay ahead of the game, and of all things to have first...Chemistry!!! So far, I feel like everythign is working out well. My kids took no time at all to adjust being at my mom's house for a few hours in the evening.

I do find myself missing the kids, of course, but I know that this little bit of sacrifice will pay off when my dream is finally completed. I know that my kids will appreciate what I am doing someday, and I am also setting a good example for them!!!

The best advice I have for you, being in the same situation, is to do as much as you can with your kids when you do have time with them on the weekends or whenever. Let people around you help you with daily living stuff...every little thing helps you out a little!!!

ANd, keep your head up and I wish you the very best of luck in pursuing your future.

Go MOM!!!

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Hi...I think that is great that you were able to work full-time and go to school full-time. I was trying to figure out a way to do that...if you don't mind me asking, what type of work do you do? Working 3 days would be great, leaving time to attend school the other days, while my kids are in school.

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Hi...thank you for sharing your story. It is great to hear that it can be done! I do need alot of encouragement right now.... I found out I need one more math class before I can take Chemistry, otherwise I would of taken it this summer also.

I know that this journey will take alot of sacrifice, but I keep telling myself it will pay off in the end, and I will be so proud to call myself an RN. :nurse:

I guess the best thing we can do is to keep looking forward and give it our best! Good luck to you! Let me know how your class goes!

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