How do you balance work\family\school?

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Hi .. I am a single mom of two, and have decided to go back to school to finish my nursing degree. The biggest fear I have is right now is how to balance it all! :banghead:

I think this is what held me back for so long. I am 37 now and bored with cubicle life, and feel it is a good a time as any to complete my degree, and I want to be an inspiration to my kids.

Anyone going through the same situation, I would appreciate any words of wisdom...thanks! :bow:

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Specializes in Adult Stem Cell/Oncology.

How exciting! Good for you! I worked in corporate America too, but only lasted three months! Do you have family or friends nearby who could help with your kids? Maybe take them and entertain them for a few hours when you need to study? I work as a nanny right now and when the little girl naps, I study for my classes. Of course I don't know how old your kids are and if they still nap. "My baby" is 13 months old... so lucky for me she still naps!

I can only imagine how hard it must be to be a single mom and a student as well! But I'm sure if you want to become a nurse badly enough, you'll find a way to make it work!

All the best! :redbeathe

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Specializes in ICU/ER.

Congrats on an exciting decision and future. I too was a non traditional nursing student, mother of 4 and wife of a loving but not the most supportive husband!!

You will be amazed at the friendships you will develop in nursing school, I met one of my dearest friends in my chemistry class. We would take our kids to the park to play while we studied, in the winter we would pack into Burger Kings play land, the kids played for hours while we studied and enjoyed the free refills.

You will find a balance that works for you, you may find your self studying along side your kids after school while they are doing their homework, or maybe it will be after the kids go to bed. But you will be able to do it since your mature enough to see the light at the end of the tunnel and know what needs to be done.

Somethings will have to go, for me it was I could no longer volunteer for every elementary school class party or field trip. I would do one a year for each kid and that was it. I missed some ball games and even a few musicals. On the flip side, I also missed my own pinning to attend a childs Christmas program--to me his Christmas program was more important than my pinning ceremony, I have no regrets over this.

Housework also took a back seat on my list of priorities, if the kids were basically well fed and had clean clothes and the dishes were put away I felt like I was winning. I soon realized that Hamburger Helper and a can of green beans did in fact count as a balanced supper and everyone seemed to like it. I did not feel bad about this either.

I kept a big calender of all of our schedules and always circled in bright red the last day of the semester. When things got tough or I was feeling overwhelmed, I would count the days/weeks and this made me feel better, I knew I could finish. Sometimes when I was feeling overwhelmed I would pull up my past school schedules and look at my grades and realize how far I had already come.

You need to take it one week at a time, each week you finish is one week closer to graduation. The time will literally fly by and in a few years you will be like me and feel you actually miss school.

Best of luck--your kids will be so proud of you when your done, mine were of me. You are a great role model.

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I find it really hard to balance work and family life. However, millions of people do it and I'm sure you can too if you are committed.

You have to enlist the aid of family, neighbors, paid help, whoever it takes to care for the kids and the house while you deal primarily with school. Sit the kids down if they are old enough and inform them of what you are thinking of doing and get their agreement to forego having you at all their events. Get them to sign on to picking up lots of household chores and caring for younger siblings so you can study, do your class and clinical work, and so on. Make it a team thing and, when you do graduate, give them all framed "diplomas" because they will have earned them.

It is hard putting yourself first but maybe this is the right thing at the right time for you and your family. I wish you good luck. What type of Nursing are you thinking of doing?

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Lemme tell ya, I was also bored with cubicle life. But right now as a nurse with 6 months in, I'm missing my cubicle for its privacy and quiet! Ever been in a nursing station at shift change, or try to get all your charting done with 50 people around shouting and making all the noise they can? LOL.:):wink2:

Anyway, our family went through great sacrifice for me for school. My husband helped, but was not all that supportive either and also got home later at night. He did watch kids for me a lot on weekends, though, -so you've got to find that substitute who will do that. I also had a nanny for a while who watched my youngest while I went to classes. Study time had to be done at night after bedtime for me. I was up routinely until midnight and then up for classes the next a.m.. I was tired a lot, but got my rest somehow on weekends. Also studied a lot on weekends, though.

You just have to let go of a lot. You can't maintain your former life and be in nursing school. You need sitters to take your kids when you need to study, also. Get one that is reliable, or use family or whatever. I did an accelerated program,so it was all the more intense. Maybe you could go through it part-time or something to ease up on the demands.

I did it with a house, a dog, and three kids, one in high school, one in travel soccer and a husband who demands time from me and food. I also had a special needs son at the time and we had to do a lot for him. ..it was a crazy time, but our family worked together as a team.

It can be done if you want it bad enough.

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Specializes in ED, PCU, Addiction, Home Health.

Lots of great replies so far!

Look into what programs are in your area to support you through this, such as - do you qualify for subsidized day care, assistance, etc? Do you have to go to school full time or part time to qualify for assistance in certain areas?

Keep in mind the change in lifestyle this will give you. You'll have greater earning potential and hopefully be more fulfilled in a nursing career. :nurse: Though, depending where you work you'll still have to deal with crazy hours and babysitting needs that might not be traditional long after you graduate.

How you pull this off will be part of the process that will make you really value who you become as a result!

Best of luck! Keep us up to date...

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Specializes in Intensive medical care.

This doesn't work for everyone, (trust me sometimes I don't think it works for me) but I moved back in with my folks. It cut down on the number bills I had to foot by myself and when classes start back up in August, I can work part time to get more study time and more kiddo time. Plus I have the added benefit of live in babysitters (and sometimes chef). I've met some awesome folks in school and they help me out so much. Plus anytime I take the kiddo anywhere (i.e. park, beach) I take my books too. It can be done, just takes some rearranging to find out what works for you. Also, don't get discourage, you might have to go through a trial and error period of balancing everything. Good Luck!! :redpinkhe

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I was 30 when I returned to school, mother of one, but I am married. I went to school when my son went to kindergarten, I was lucky though and didn't have to work during the school year, only worked FT in the summers in between.

I took as many courses as I could in one semester before applying for nursing school, and also took A&P II during the summer, it was a small class so we got more attention, and it was the only one I was in.

This lightened my load once nursing school was full swing.

During my school years I also managed to ride my horses every night, and showed during the summers, so it is possible to do other things, and it helps to manage the inevitable stress that school can and will cause.

I feel for you being a single mom, for I know that finances will be a bigger struggle, but here in Canada there are many grants available for single mothers, is there anything like that available to you?

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I can really relate to your situation!

While in my first year of nursing clinicals I went through a divorce, got cancer and had to start chemo and radiation immediatley! I missed two semisters of school but graduated with my LPN this May. I am now in my RN classes. I too moved in with my parents, it does help but I have NO life! I have to dedicate most of my time to school and my children. There isnt much left after that, and if there is I am to tired to do anything!!!

But I figure this will pass. Two more semisters and I am done. Well except for going on to my MSN, which mostly can be done online. As hard as it all is, it will make you a stronger person. You can do it.

Jen

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PROZAC!!!!

Seriously - the first thing you HAVE to remember is that EVERYONE IS IN A DIFFERENT SITUATION!!! PERIOD. DO NOT try to keep up with others - they are not you and you are not them.

It make take you longer, or you might breeze through it - accept either.

I had a heck of a time with Anatomy - With three kids, a OTR truck driving hubby, and not family to support while he is gone, plus I am not as quick of a learner as I used to be (lol), was and IS a pain. I had to remember that it is OK to fail the perserverence will only make it that much sweeter.

I tried to keep up with the "younger" crowd and kept asking why I couldn't made my self esteem and grades plummet. Now that I am working in a LTC facility (part time) - I truly LOVE my residents and it really boosted my moral when my residents ask for me and smile when I walk in!!

One day at a time!! Good Luck (for me too)

:smokin:

Lyn

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I truly second the person who said don't try to compare yourself with the younger folks in class without families. I would tend to do this, and just couldn't. Many of them got really good grades and did well, -- but hey, were they also taking care of a family?

No way -- I did well with my grades over the long term and was VERY proud of how it all turned out -- a 3.7 GPA while taking care of a house, husband and 3 kids -- not bad. Wasn't a 4.2 like some of the "single" gals - but I'm proud of it nontheless.

Then there were the single folks who did much worse than me because they just partied too much and weren't disciplined. Nothing to help them BE disicplined like having the structure I had in my life with kids and house, etc.

I"d just forget it -- do your best with what you've got to work with and you will do fine.

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Specializes in Cardiac.
I"d just forget it -- do your best with what you've got to work with and you will do fine.

This one line means so much.

Although I am single with no children, I do have to work full-time (3 12 hr shifts per week) and also go to school full-time--it's rough.

I finally had to stop comparing myself to all of the students who didn't have to work and could just solely concentrate on their studies.

In the end, it's going to feel so good to know that I survived working full-time and going to school full-time...just have to keep on telling myself that:wink2:

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