Published Feb 3, 2004
In Home Care Heaven:
*All houses are clean and have indoor plumbing
*Oasis is declared unnecessary
*All nurses are given Cadillac SUV's, loaded, with road service and unlimited gas charge accounts, optional chaffuer when you need that drive time to chart, eat or nap.
*All patients have family members willing to learn, help and are completely sane.
*All doctors are interested in hearing what the nurse feels the patient needs and often say, "I wish I'd thought of that" and "I couldn't do this without you!"
*Digital disimpactions are no longer needed, a sprinkle of pixie dust does the trick!
*The top executives of leading managed care organizations are all in desperate need of home care but ......only 2 visits are approved and they'll have to do the care for themselves!! HA!
renerian, BSN, RN
Sounds just like home health. Yes the HMO stuff is a killer. Teach the world and more in 2 visits please. Then call and beg for more.
hoolahan, ASN, RN
Love the pixie dust especially.
And, I know it says all houses are clean, but just to be specific, my Heaven has no roaches either. :)
quote: (tehehehehe.. my favorite) All doctors are interested in hearing what the nurse feels the patient needs and often say, "I wish I'd thought of that" and "I couldn't do this without you!"
May I add to the list?
Patients would never pull out their tubes, foleys, or lines during off hours.
Nurses would be compensated fully for all the extra Case Management.
ICD-9 really stood for Incredible Care and Dedication would include an extra 9 hours of PTO.
:rotfl: okay... okay... I am dreaming. :rotfl:
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