High-need infant. Please help!

bergren · Nov 10, 2003

I remember being in school and desperately needing to get reading done and the baby would not be soothed.

The T Berry Brazelton book about the 1st 12 months of life describes this behavior as an immature neurological system.

One thing that we would do as a last resort would be to get in the car and drive. I realize you cannot study if you are driving, but it did seem to soothe them. I would also put the child in their seat and put them on the top of the dryer and study standing up in front of it to make sure they would not fall off. I think hiring a young mother's helper might work too - gives you the freedom to study and the kids are being walked or held. Another student with kids may agree to do a baby swap so you can each get a few hours of studying in. Once when I could not get my son to quiet - had checked for all sharp objects etc - he'd cried for 25 minutes and now I was crying too. My neighbor happened to call and told me to put him in his crib and get in the shower. Sure enough, he was asleep when I got out.

Good luck. Remember that this will pass and just do as best you can with the studying. You might not get as good a grade as you might have, but you will look back and not even remember the name of the course that seems so important, but you will remember her first months forever, crying and not (be sure to take lots of pictures when she is NOT crying!!!)

kastas, BSN, RN · Nov 10, 2003

I totally agree with the above post. I too had a very fussy baby in nursing school. These things are hard this time of year, but here is a few things I did.

He loved to be outdoors. MANY MANY times I set up his swing on the porch and i sat down next to him or I put him in the baby backpack and I walked about the front yard while reviewing notes or reading (be careful....don't trip )

He also seemed to calm down in the car and almost always fell asleep. I would drive around till he fell asleep then go park at the lake or even once or twice in front of my own house and study while sitting in the car. Works till he realizes the car is no longer moving.

The very best thing is to leave him with Dad and go to the library. Hope that is an option for you.

Terri

PS- The shower thing has worked for me with all 3 of my children. No longer in school, but sometimes you just can't take any more. A hot, quiet shower is the best thing for an overstressed mom. Good Luck!

LisaRN2B · Nov 10, 2003

Ditto on Terri and Martha.

My first was absolutely not able to be consoled. Driving helped, but as soon as I turned off the car she was awake. It was maddening.

I ended up using the stuff for gassy/colicky (is that a word?) babies. I just can't remember the name of it It helped a little bit.

I totally agree with the shower idea...that's a great one.

It does pass. Time goes too quickly. My eldest is almost 15 now and boy does she SLEEP!

Hang in there, and best of luck to you.

jax · Nov 10, 2003

My two were exactly the same. I feel for you. Both of them settled at 9 months. If you have any family or friends that are offering help, take it. Does your daughter settle in a sling? Can you tape your study and go walking and listen to tapes? I used the car as a last resort, and it always worked. Have you got a partner who helps. As soon as my husband came home, I would throw the baby at him, and get out for a 10 minute walk to regroup.

I was told that the difficult babies make the most interesting, bright and inquisitive children. Of course I believe it! It gave me something to hold on to during those very trying early months. Good luck. Jax

LisaRN2B · Nov 10, 2003

Mylicon. That was the name of the stuff. There is some question as to whether this helps with colic or not, but like I said, it did seem to help a bit.

BaystateRN · Nov 10, 2003

I am answering this as a mother, and not a pedi nurse. My oldest, now 17, screamed and screamed. She slept only an hour or two at a time. At three months, I changed her formula to a soy based formula and within 48 hours I had a new child. I don't recommend hopscotching around with the formulas, but three or four days trying a soy based formula might help.

Anagray, BSN · Nov 10, 2003

Thank you so much for answering my post. I guess I will just have to hang in there..

Babystate, I also thought about switching formulas and I did - nothing changed. My dd is bf mostly and ff when i'm in school or at work.

yesterday I talked to some people from overseas and many of them use something called " gripe water" for colicy babies. know it is finally available in the US, has anyone heard of it?

PS. I always admired the pedi nurses. YOu are amazing - it takes so much to care for little babies. To me it is always much more heart breaking - the younger the patient, the harder it is for me to watch them suffer.

uk_nurse · Nov 10, 2003

I'm a mother of 3 boys and a paed nurse. My son cried none stop for 4 hours from 6pm till 10pm. They said it was colic.I tried cooled bolied water, gripe water (which we dont use much of here in uk) and infacol which didnt really work that well. They say it last just for 3 months. My son started to settle more when i started weaning him. I'm sorry to say but if it is colic unfortunately there is not much you can do. But just think it doesnt last for ever and yes it is hard. :)

Jolie, BSN · Nov 10, 2003

You have my sympathies. My first was like this, too. Fortunately, it lasted only about 4 months, then she suddenly started sleeping thru the night, and the colic disappeared.

Gripewater contains alcohol, and should not be used for infants. You, on the other hand, may benefit from an occasional glass of wine.

You must be nearing the end of your semester. Is there any way you could take a semester off until she settles down? It sounds like you just have too much going on to cope with school and a needy baby.

I know it doesn't help now, but this too shall pass. Trouble is that I was too exhausted to remember much of my daughter's first months.

Best wishes to you.

Jolie, BSN · Nov 10, 2003

Forgot to add that the best baby gadget I ever purchased was a front baby carrier. I couldn't use it with my colicky baby because I had shoulder surgery, but it was a Godsend with my second. She spent most of her first year attached to my chest, and was so content! It also kept my hands free to do other things.

glascow · Nov 10, 2003

I tried everything for my son, who cried all night. After searching on the internet I found this gadget that I would highly recommend.

You hook it to the bottom of the baby's crib and turn it on, it vibrates the crib and simulates a moving car going 60 mph. It also comes with a cassette that you turn on, and it sounds just like you're riding in the car. He loved it!