Heroin addict; just for today.

Nurses Recovery

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Hello everyone,

I have a long story but I am going to shorten it up. I am a heroin addict. I self-reported my addiction and checked into inpatient rehab the same day, August 31st. I now have 28 days clean under my belt and I am darn proud of that 28 days.

I guess I could have not reported myself but I felt I needed to. I didn't want the OBN finding out on their own and being honest has helped me throughout the "steps" of the narcotics anonymous program. I never used on the job or diverted. I was just a dirty nurse with a deadly addiction.

First and formost, I am so grateful that I am clean and sober today. I am happy to be alive. I am slowly building up trust from my family and friends. I have a home, food to eat, and a car to drive. I have people to love and for that, I am grateful.

I would like to go back into nursing eventually after my treatment program ends and I have some clean time under my belt. Right now I think it is best that I'm not around narcotics of any type. I put my license in 'inactive' status and have sent the OBN a release of medical records of my treatment program. I have been going to NA (Narcotics anonymous) every single night and have decided to get signatures of my attendance in case the OBN needs proof that I am attending meetings.

What should I expect in this journey of getting my license back? I'm sure drug testing will be involved and some type of narcotic restriction even though I did not divert.

Thank you for any information you can offer.

Specializes in adult health , critical care.

Eirene, First and foremost Congrats on your 28 days of sobriety. That is a huge accomplishment in and of itself! Sounds like you have a good support system in place to help you along the recovery path. My advice to you is to concentrate on recovery at this time since its so early on on the process. The nursing profession will be there for you however since you self reported to the BON there will be a lot of paperwork,and yes drug testing, meetings,ect. The Board will probably want more clean time before you think about license reinstatement. That's why I think you should concentrate on yourself and your recovery for now. It also wouldn't hurt to contact an Attorney who specializes in BON issues like this to make sure YOUR best professional interests are handled correctly! Again, this is just my opinion and I wish you well in your recovery and future nursing profession!

JMO- Thank you for your reply and encouragement! I actually have 29 days clean, oops! Everyday counts. I appreciate you telling me to focus on my recovery right now; that's what I've been doing and looked at it as a character flaw because I've actually put my license on the back-burner. I thought, 'maybe I should care more about my license.' It helped me when you said that.

I think the drug testing is a great method. It helps keep me accountable. And the NA meetings are so helpful, I don't mind attending them at all.

Again, thank you for your reply.

Specializes in LTC, Psych, Med/Surg.

Eirene-

You have your priorities straight in that you are concentrating on recovery & not on nursing. If you don't have recovery, you are going down a fatal road. Nursing is not life.

I worry when newbies to recovery are obsessed with their jobs rather than with the fact that they have a potentially fatal illness that must be addressed.

Everything else will fall into place if you put your sobriety/abstinence first.

Well done.

Catmom :paw:

Specializes in Cardiac, Neuroscience, LTC.

I don't have any advice on how to proceed with getting your license back, but I just wanted to post a HUGE CONGRATS to you. You have done an awesome job!! Congrats on your sobriety and I am sure things will work out for you, sounds like you really want this!

Specializes in FMF CORPSMAN USN, TRUAMA, CCRN.
First and formost, I am so grateful that I am clean and sober today. I am happy to be alive. I am slowly building up trust from my family and friends. I have a home, food to eat, and a car to drive. I have people to love and for that, I am grateful.

... I am attending meetings.

Eirene, First and foremost, Congratulations on your sobriety. I know it is no small feat that you are clean and sober today, so keep up the good work, and keep going to meetings, since you aren't working you could probably go to a couple a day right? What ever it takes. The important thing is to keep busy so your mind doesn't have time to slip back into that "stinkin thinkin." I know it's hard not to think about, but right now the last thing you need to concern yourself with is Nursing. You've already placed your license on inactive and the BON knows your status, so it will be a good while before you are ready to go to work again, so cool your jets and settle in. If you don't deal with the more pressing matters at hand, you won't have a job to go back too. I know you said you were a Heroin addict just for today, but since we are being honest here let's be honest and say how long you have been a practicing addict. I am a recovering addict and alcoholic and I've been clean and sober for 6078 days, or since I got up this morning if you want to get technical about it. If you want to PM me, please feel free to do so. Right this minute, your recovery is the most important issue you have facing you. I don't know if you have a NA Sponsor or not, but if you don't, I would encourage you to get one, that's just someone local that can help you if you ever get in trouble emotionally and really need someone to talk to face to face, or on the phone. You can do this, but not alone, and you don't have to be alone, there are plenty of people willing to help. Maintain your attitude of gratitude. You really should be thankful for the people who have stuck by you after all you have put them through, and you know what I mean. One thing you left out, is that you have people that still love you and for that you should be very grateful. If you believe in a Higher Power, talk with them and get that all straightened out and you'll be on your way. Like I said, PM if you want and congrats again. Stay sober, even if your ass falls off.

Specializes in ICU, psych, corrections.

I didn't use heroin, but I might as well have with the amount of opiates I was consuming (I say consuming because that's what I was doing...practically eating them all day long). Congrats on being clean/sober!! I reported myself to the board and started on their monitoring contract in July 2008 (my sobriety date is 6/30/08). I will be off contract March 2014, God willing. The first year was the most difficult. I was required to attend 90 in 90, which I feel set a great foundation for meetings. I now feel a little "empty" if I am not attending at least 3 meetings/week, in addition the nurse support group I am required to attend weekly and the Aftercare I attend (I was only required to attend that for a year but 3 years later, I'm still going because it is integral to my sobriety at this point). I was also required to do 80 hours of IOP, 80 hours of counseling, and monthly reporting to the board. I call in 365 days a year for drug testing and we are tested once a month randomly. I pay $25/month to the board for the monitoring, $100/month for nurse support group, and $50 per drug test. My Aftercare is $15/night but that is optional at this point.

I am required to send in quarterly reports, along with my AA/NA sign in sheets and a sponsor report. It seems like a lot, but 4 years into it, it's not that big a deal. I'm VERY grateful for the monitoring because the committee I meet with has been able to point out when they are concerned about my behavior (usually when I am becoming complacent with my recovery) and ask how they can help me. I have been working for over 3 years at my current job, which is psychiatric nursing. LOL. It's where I belong, not the ICU where I used to be employed. I do not have to be supernurse and I do not have to identify myself as a nurse anymore. The board takes away our license for approximately 6-9 months because of that....they want us to focus on our recovery, not our jobs. I'm very grateful for that as well. Because if I was told tomorrow I could never be a nurse again, my world would not end. Four years ago, I would have felt quite differently!! Good luck on your journey and enjoy those promises as they are fulfilled, as they most likely will be as you work the program!

Oh my, Life_is_good, that is so expensive for everything.

Are psych areas generally okay with hiring health care providers in monitoring programs?

Eirene, sorry, for asking that in your thread. Congratulations on being clean for 32 days. Every day counts. I have been sober for almost 6 months. I have rough days, I have to admit that, but I have not had one drink. Good luck with your recovery and hopefully, it will get easier.

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