Helping family understand chronic pain

[clemmm78, RN]

Many patients who have chronic pain also have family or friends who don't/won't/can't understand what they are living with.

For those of you who deal with family members or if you are helping your patients deal with these types of people, what do you advise? How do you get people who don't have pain understand the difficulties of someone who does?

[sharona97, BSN, RN]

I wish I knew that answer......

If they can't see it, I pick up they don't believe it's there........

So I quit banging my head against the wall and focused on me.

[woody62, RN]

Since most nurses and physicians do not understand how to properly manage chronic pain, in their patients, how can they be expected to explain it. Most are very good at explaining and managing acute pain, it is the chronic one they have problems with. Just try watching a chronic pain patient come into your ER. Or get admitted to a unit. The whispers about pill or shot seekers. They really don't have the pain they claim because they don't act like our acute patients do. We first have to educate our nurses and physicians. Then we can try and educate the patient's family.

Woody:balloons:

[kukukajoo, LPN]

I know one way to describe the lack of sleep portion of the chronic pain (many pain sufferers miss that restorative sleep and do not well at all).

Think about trying to sleep, you are really really tired and just need to hit the pillow. Yo try your hardest to sleep. But everytime you are almost asleep, someone jabs you with a pointy object and instead of getting to sleep, you are in a half- sleep state all night. This leaves you tired, weary and bleary eyed in the am. You don't remember the poking all night and think you actually slept, which you may have, but you did not get a good, restful sleep. This in turn affects your mood, your immunity is lowered and you can be tense and short tempered without knowing it. It also causes physical symptoms such as more illness, headaches, blurred vision, etc.

Hope this helps explain a little part of it.

Chronic pain to me would be like never getting relief from that really bad toothache- ever. After a time, that pain affects everything about you and your personality changes, the meds you have to rely on have nasty side effects (or they just plain stop working despite enough to kill a horse) and you are just irritable and tired continually. You no longer find joy in the things you do as they now hurt, and you can begin to feel like there is never any hope. Praying for relief does no good, but sometimes being alone and not moving and almost meditating may help take some of the edge off, but that darned pain is there with you in every step, every waking (and sleeping moment).

[cmo421]

How I wish there was a way for evey medical person, especially ER personnel, to experience one day of chronic like pain. If they had to, or family had to, I bet my bottom dollar, that pain control would become a priority and tolerance for those in it, would soar.

In practice I must say to myself, "There, but for the grace of God , go I ". Always someone worse off then myself ,and it helps to remember that daily.