help! i think i hate nursing!

Chloe'sinNYNow · May 25, 2008

I will undoubtedly get out of bedside nursing at least 2 years down the road. I just cannot handle it physically, emotionally, philosophically, or any other way. I don't regret getting the degree, but I do wish I'd really investigated this career before I started it.
I'm off orientation here in about 2 weeks, and I'm petrified. There is NO WAY I have the wherewithall to handle some of our patient assignments on my own yet, even after this long 16 week orientation. There is so much critical thinking, so much of everything -- I just know that the next six months even will be pure hell and now I'll be on my own, begging these wicked nurses to help me and it will be ridiculous. I just don't look forward to it at ALL.
The way orientation is run, there is just no way -- there is no consistency -- no clear path. You are just stuck with a different nurse everytime and it's up to HER/HIM whether or not you are going to really learn something, or just learn to do charts, round, and give meds. I actually had a "teacher" for a preceptor the other night and she was so awesome -- if I'd had her the entire time, perhaps I'd be ready -- but I didn't. I've had chart nazis, stress mongers, anal retentives, as well as total slackers. Some prepared me somewhat -- but it's just the inconsistency of it all.
Oh well -- I just say to myself what I say everyday: "If I can't do it, I guess they'll just kick me out and that will be it - (and that may not be so bad!" ) :icon_roll

Ditto you there S of M,

but if you can take that last sentence attitude, I say good for you!! That's the biggest toughie for me to combat. I am at the end of my rope. I have so much riding on this career that I'm $60k in debt for. I gotta make it work. And I figure OB is my best match. So after this, perhaps I'll have enough skills to attempt that MDS or school nurse or something else outside of hospital work? I'm also looking at 1-2-3 years down the road.

I guess what really slays me is seeing all the grumpy unhappy whiney nurses dragging out of work and into work each shift and wondering if it actually does get any better. Are there happy nurses ANYWHERE????? This is sooooooooooo disappointing. I hate to think I worked so hard to get here and it just doesn't get any better.

:dzed:

Chloe

prikaybran2 · May 27, 2008

I think everyone should realize that the doors are wide open for you to obtain work outside of a hospital setting. With LPN or RN licensure, you can go apply at the Biomedical Laboratories, BioPharma companies, any company that deals with Biological Science will do.

They need certified, licensed professionals who know about the medical field to do a myriad of different types of jobs, from collecting and organizing data, creating reports, data entry, clinical trial management etc.

Becoming a Nurse may not be for you for whatever reason, but most definitely you have a specialized type of knowledge that most people don't who are not in the medical profession.

Get your resume together and start circulating it. You might be surprised at what comes your way.

Good luck.

charlitsweb · Jun 10, 2008

I felt the same way. I have been an Rn for over 10 years now, and I love it now. When I first started, I hated it. I was working night shift in busy step down unit. The seasoned nurses were mean, rude, and unhelpful. The qulity of nursing was awful, My hear would race everytime I had to go towork, I was becoming a nervous wreck. I felt like we were abusing patients. The staffing sucked.

I transferred to a smaller hospital, changed to day shift, and started to take one day at a time. To begin withthe nurses I wokred with were wonderful - that helps a lot. I realized that I couldn't change the world, that the gifts of nursing come in moments, which you have to be in the moment to seize.

if we have our own integrity, relax, think of each patient with respect, those moments will come.

I hate standing on myfeet for 8 hours, I hate the chaos, I hate not having a space to chart. But when a patient comes back to see me to say Thank you, or tells me that they loved having me as a nurse, or if I can hold a lonely dying person's hand, or just reassure someone, or bring their heart rate down, or act quickly to relieve their chest pain, or bleeding - I take home more than the average person does.

Relax. You will find your niche - It may take a while. Maybe a different type of nursing would be good for you.

:redpinkhe

D&Ggirl · Jun 12, 2008

prikaybran2 - what kind of key words should I search for - what you listed, "collecting and organizing data, creating reports, data entry, clinical trial management etc." sounds exactly like what I want to do, but I cant find anything other than floor nursing! thank you!

Chloe'sinNYNow · Jun 13, 2008

Apparently MDS nursing takes skills only learned on the unit as well.

Geesh!! Looks like I'm going to have to take a job w/ a $10k pay cut (and that sucks for new grad y'all!!) just to save my sanity and build time til I can qualify for anything!

This just proves to me that there is NO reason to go to an overpriced private university to get your BSN. It's not that I went into nursing for the big $$. but I do admit I fell into it for stability and now I'm going to be struggling more to pay off all the debt. (but that's another thread for another time)

YUP, I do believe I HATE nursing. Sure wish I could stop wanting to care for people though.

{sigh}

Chloe

jjjoy, LPN · Jun 13, 2008

Becoming a Nurse may not be for you for whatever reason, but most definitely you have a specialized type of knowledge that most people don't who are not in the medical profession.
Get your resume together and start circulating it. You might be surprised at what comes your way.

I agree with this. There are many opportunities out there that aren't specifically nursing where one's background in health care can be a benefit.

the doors are wide open for you to obtain work outside of a hospital setting.

I do think "doors are wide open" is a bit of an overstatement, though, especially for those without a lot of previous clinical experience to offer. A person generally has to be creative and persistant to find and obtain a non-nursing, health care/bioscience jobs that match their talents and interests. A person can't count on being able to browse the internet, fax a resume, and wham! be offered a great job. I'd say instead that having the background in nursing can help you "get your foot in the door" to other health care/bioscience jobs.

nursemike, ASN, RN · Jun 13, 2008

YUP, I do believe I HATE nursing. Sure wish I could stop wanting to care for people though.
{sigh}
Chloe

Sigh is right. A friend of mine who was working as an aide and considering nursing school said she was hesitating because it seemed like the aides spent more time with the patients and the nurses spent most of their time charting. Naive nursing student that I was, I assured her that the nurses who spent most of their time charting were the ones who didn't want to spend more time with the patients.

I've eaten those words more than once. It's more than a little frustrating how much crap gets in the way of what we got into nursing to do. I think about the things we're taught in therapeutic communication--pull up a chair, sit and listen, don't make them feel like they're keeping you from a dozen more important things...yeah, right. Sure, sometimes that's just what the patient needs, but nursing administrators really don't like to pay time-and-a-half for you to catch up on your charting.

Nursing will just suck the life right out of you, if you let it.

When I was new, and annoyingly enthusiastic, some of my more cynical coworkers used to smile wryly and say, "Just wait..." And they were right.

I have become one of those nurses who whines on the way in, whines on the way out, and grumbles a good bit in between. Makes my sig line seem just a tad bit hypocritical, I suppose.

But I'm reminded of something my Dad told me about his time in the military, that the sargeants never worried while the men were complaining--it was only when they stopped complaining that they became concerned about morale. And I think that also applies to nurses. Part of the reason we gripe is because our perception of how things are doesn't jive with our vision of how things should be. Lose that vision and it is what it is and there's no reason to complain.

One of the biggest surprises of my orientation was working alongside a nurse who was a big part of my inspiration to become a nurse, who continues to be a mentor and role model, a really great nurse who never gets flustered, always knows exactly what to do, and never complains. So, one of her many words of wisdom she passed along to me was not to let management walk all over me. Faced--as we all sometimes are--with the choice of being an excellent nurse or an excellent employee, she's an excellent nurse every time. And it turns out, she even gripes about it, a little, just not in front of the unlicensed staff, patients, or even newbie nurses. (I think it is fair to say she doesn't let the occassional complaints outweigh the reasons she became a nurse, and I am trying to emulate that. And, like many of the experienced nurses I see, she has a rather sardonic sense of humor.)

So, speaking with all my many months of experience, I would say it really does get better, over time. These days, I find myself rushing to get things done that two years ago I didn't even know I needed to do. My manager would cry, but my time-management actually has improved, somewhat, so that I'm spending less time on routine stuff like med passes and even assessments. I actually do find a minute or two, here and there, to chat with patients or get their visitors a cup of coffee, and if a patient really needs it, I can usually find ten minutes to pull up a chair and listen. My shift ends at 0730, and I'm usually out by 0800, but sometimes I run seriously over. I will never again, even in jest, tell my NM that charting isn't so bad at $30/hr, but I continue to tell myself, "If they wanted a good nurse, they should have hired one." I take the assignment I'm given, do the best I can with it, try to do most of my grumbling in the privacy of the med room, try very hard to leave work behind when I walk out the door, and try to remember, in my heart of hearts, that I do love my stupid job.

I think being happy as a nurse requires a sort of functional schizophrenia.

You have to build a bunch of mental compartments. You need a place to stick your personnal problems while you're at work. You need a place--or several--to stick all the BS that takes you away from the real work. You need a "happy place" to visit as you're scarfing down your ten-minute lunch. You need a quiet little place you can hide in (at least mentally, and if possible, physically) when it's time to "chart like the wind," and you need a place where you're Supernurse and actually feel like you know what you are doing, sometimes.

Reality can be manageable, if you break it up into bite-sized pieces.

luvyourself · Jun 30, 2008

I am new to nursing also and some days I feel I don't like it. With all there is to do you really don't have time to give the patient that one on one personal time they deserve( I work in LTC but on a Medicaid hall). It is so stressfull and I feel like some of the other posters-there is never enough time. I have been doing this going on 2mths and it seems I am never going to be as fast as my co-workers with getting things done in time to get to charting or a lunch break(some days I don't get one). It seems they look at you funny when you have to stay past your clock out time to finish charting(I guess they think your trying to get overtime). I often ask my co-workers when the reviewers come through from the state and we have to give these meds an hour b4 and an hour after how will we? The patients go to activities, therapy etc etc. I just hope things get better because I am thinking about going back and finishing my teaching degree.

amzyRN · Oct 14, 2008

Along the lines of the topic, I am beginning to feel the same way, that maybe I've made a mistake going into nursing versus another field. But, I'm still in nursing school, so maybe that's why. I'm finishing up my Accelerated BSN program and am doing my senior preceptorship now in a busy med/surg unit and it's been a nightmare. Running around like a chicken with my head cut off, without a break expect for lunch, and without enought time with patients, and without a collaboration with physicians, I feel distraught. I am thinking I will try to salvage my decision, by applying my clinical experience to another related field.

shewiz · Oct 7, 2009

I had to put my input in...I am only a CNA/CMA/HHA and also I have a Lic. as Adult Care Home Operator..I was going to go on and get my LPN or RN along time back...but, I have been doing what I doing now since 94 and I decided I wasn't going any further...I have respect all you LPN and RN's out there who do and put up with what crap goes on. I am burned out in working in all of it and the crap..that is why I decided not to go further..I am working on my bachlors now but for an Human Resource degree and Bus. Admin. I like the bus. and paper work end of a bus. that is just me...I have finally found what I want to do..but, I salute all you out there...it just isn't for me...unfor. I have done a lot of job hopping and it does show up on records, ..I just can't seem to like doing this anymore. Good luck.. :banghead: