Help!!!!

[Gift.Fr.Virgo12]

Hi everyone!

I have two dilemas. My grandmother (72) has been complaining about her left knee. She complains in the morning and at night that it hurts. The pain goes away with movement and I noticed how her left knee was a bit swollen. We asked her physician and she just said it is arthrits. So I asked if we can get a blood test, the test showed "nothing abnormal" as her doctor stated. She still complaints, maybe because my grandmother is still an active adult. She likes to exercise, o heavy chores around the house, etc. She doesn't listen. I told her that she cannot expect to do the tihngs she use to do a decade ir two ago. But she refuses to listen. And as for her physician, we have consistently asked about her knee, and it seems the only thing she says is "it's old age" or "it's arthritis." I think we should get a second opinion, get and x-ray just to make sure.

My other dilema, my father (51) is in a bad depression because he insist he is forgeting stuff. I feel that it is stress. he has gone through some tough times in his life and I feel that he has not let go of it all. I tell him that if you allow yourself to believe that youare being forgetful then you will convince yourself you are. I have tried numerous times to help my dad. I have brought him crossword puzzles to do when he has free time. My younger siblings have tried to include him, when they play board games. I have assisted him with his diet, make sure he was eating healthy. I told him, everyone has a busy and demanding schedule. You need to organize your life in ourder to be stress free and be able to remember.

My father broke down last night and told me that he wants a better life, a better job. He wished his parents had helped him finish school, mind you this was back in the day in the Philippines and my grandparents were just street vendors. He has new job offering and told me that it pays great and it has benefits. The only thing is that he doesn't think he can do it. He would work as a caregiver, along with ihs other job. He thinks that he will forget, like what time his patients ate, how much the ate, etc. I told him we all have little notebooks so we won't forget! Then he went on telling me how he was afraid of remebering the right english words to write on his dialy reports.

This is when Ii get so frustrated. My father has always taught me to be strong-minded, have heart, and never think negative b/c it's all in your head. Yet, here he is contradicting himself. I give him ways, he gives me excuses. Then he goes on telling me that he realyl does forget, he says he got lost once on a regular route he takes to pick up one of his patrons. He forgets words (english words). He forgets somethings when he's running an errand. I beleive he has a lot on his mind. I told him we'll see someone for his memory, but I don't know who. I love my father a lot, he has raised my siblings and I, and has always been a good father. I would really like to help him even when he refuses.

I'm soory if I wrote so much, I just don't know who to talk to. Thank you all.

[jmgrn65, RN]

well as we aren't allowed to give advice here.

Your GM if her knee is better after movement and worse at night after movement than it is probably arthritis. If you feel the need for a 2nd opinion than by all means get one. Have they done an X-Ray?

Your Dad does sound depressed. (((((HUGS))) and support encourage to take the job that he wants to do. Heck even americans where english is first langauge don't always remember the right words. We are all human.

[rn/writer, RN]

We can't give medical advice on this board. But I can encourage you to help your grandma look into getting a second opinion. Maybe take her to someone who specializes in older patients or even to someone in sports medicine who would be able to see if there's something more than arthritis going on.

Arthritis just means an inflammation of the joints. Like the term fever, it identifies a problem without pointing to a cause. Blood tests can peg rheumatoid arthritis but not the kind that comes from wear-and-tear or previous injury.

Get a second opinion any time you think you need one. A responsible, patient-oriented doc will not think less of you for doing so.

As for your father, he needs to see someone as well. Whether he's dealing with fear of a new opportunity or really is having some physiological memory loss, he should have a thorough physical and be evaluated for depression as well. No matter what is going on with him, his emotional turmoil is a signal that he needs help in some form. A doc can help to rule out problems or begin treatment when appropriate. Fear of the unknown is often far worse than the reality. Whatever is going on, being terrified only magnifies the bad effects.

You sound like a wonderful advocate for your familiy members. They are fortunate to have such a caring person looking out for them.

One other thing. Please take good care of yourself. It can be easy to forget your own needs when you're busy caring for others, but your needs matter, too.

I wish you all the best.

PM me with any questions or comments.

This thread is now closed.