help me please with my cover letter ASAP

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i am applying to a cancer hospitals intensive care unit, i am a new graduate (may07) and i just passed my boards. my mom works at the hospital, they hire new grads in their icu and i totally love it! Can u please let me know what u think of my cover letter b4 i send it out.

Thank you to all who respond and help me, it is greatly appreciated! Please be brutally honest!:nurse::wink2::D

Cover letter:

Date

(To) XXX

I am writing in reference to the full time clinical nurse intensive care unit position, currently posted on your website. I am vitally interested in becoming a member of your team. I am confident that I would make a positive addition to your nursing staff. As you can see by my resume, I have worked in both medical and surgical intensive care units during my student clinical rotations. During my senior year, my apprenticeship concentration was also in an intensive care setting. Working in such a fast paced unit, I have learned to adapt quickly, make quick decisions, manage busy patients, do extensive patient and family teaching, and work with patients who have the ability to decompensate quickly. Thus, that experience has sparked my desire to be a registered nurse in an intensive care setting.

I am a quick learner, enjoy learning new things on the job, do not shy away from difficult assignments, and have an affinity for relating to patients and their families. My Godmother is a breast cancer survivor and seeing her prevail through her bouting treatments and the interaction between her and the nurses that cared for her made me even more enthusiastic to do the same for other families.

When I was younger I participated in your hospitals "bring your daughter to work day" numerous times, as my mother has been an employee at your facility for over twenty years. In fact, that experience is exactly what urged me to want to become a nurse at a very young age. With my mother as an employee, I have seen this hospital grow and change dramatically over the years. After doing extensive research on your hospital It was clear to me that (name of hospital) is an excellent environment where I will be able to work, learn and grow as and RN.

I have already applied through your website, however I wanted to introduce myself as a potential candidate. I hope to hear from you soon to set up an interview. Thank you for your time and consideration.

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Specializes in ED.

this looks great-

i'm just a big believer in breaking up big solid blocks of text. makes for smoother faster reading. also i changed just a few of your smaller cases to capitals and longer sentences to shorter ones for emphasis.. also remember double space after a period or colon!!! i tried to highlight changes w diff. color- not sure if it'll work till i post. :bugeyes:

anyway take what you can use or ignore!!!!!! best of luck!!!!!!!! how exciting!

:yeah:

cover letter:

date

(to) xxx

i am writing in reference to the full time clinical nurse intensive care unit position, currently posted on your website. i am extremely interested in becoming a member of your healthcare team. i am confident that i would make a positive addition to your nursing staff.

as you can see by my resume, i have worked in both medical and surgical intensive care units during my student clinical rotations. during my senior year, my apprenticeship concentration was also in an intensive care setting. working in such a fast paced unit, i learned to adapt quickly, make quick decisions, manage busy patients, do extensive patient and family teaching, and work with patients who have the potential to decompensate quickly. that experience has sparked my desire to be a registered nurse in an intensive care setting.

i am a quick learner, enjoy learning new things on the job, and i do not shy away from difficult assignments. i have an affinity for relating to patients and their families. my godmother is a breast cancer survivor and seeing her prevail through her bouts of treatment and the interaction between her and the nurses that cared for her made me enthusiastic to do the same for other families.

when i was younger i participated in your hospital's "bring your daughter to work day" numerous times, as my mother has been an employee at your facility for over twenty years. in fact, that experience is exactly what spurred me on to become a nurse at a very young age. with my mother as an employee, i have seen this hospital grow and change dramatically over the years. after doing extensive research on your hospital it was clear to me that (name of hospital) is an excellent environment where i will be able to work, learn, and grow as an rn.

i have already applied through your website, however i wanted to introduce myself more personally as a potential candidate.

i hope to hear from you soon to set up an interview. thank you for your time and consideration.

sincerely,

ms. snazzy jazzy super duper, rn!!!

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Specializes in Public Health, TB.

I agree with the previous poster's comments, but one thing jumps out at me: you use the word quick or some form of it four times. Perhaps patients have the potential to decompensate suddenly. As a potential employer I worry that someone who makes quick decisions may make them too quickly. Maybe you have developed critical thinking skills that allow you to adjust to changes in patients' conditions.

Just my 2 cents worth.

Good Luck and Welcome to Nursing

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Specializes in Neuro/Trauma SICU.

I would rephrase the "decompansate" quickly sentence. Maybe say something like "I have experience with high acuity patients". Another thing to think of is that taking care of high acuity patients comes with time and experience, and no one expects you to be able to do that right away. Whats more important is your multi-tasking abilities, bedside manor, and if you can see the next step.:twocents:

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Specializes in Med Surg, Renal, Neuro ICU.

Good morning,

There is too much unnecessary information in your cover letter. Although it is very enthusiastic, recruiters want you to be short & to the point. All of the info about your mom & aunt should be removed.

It helps me to go through several revisions, which I'm not doing right now but you get the point. Here's an example of what you can write:

Dear (name of recruiter),

I am writing in response to your advertisement for a full time (exact name of position). I have (insert your amount here) years experience in a variety of healthcare settings including (insert your experience here).

I have a strong attention to detail along with the ability to organize and prioritize. I would like the opportunity to discuss my experience with you and learn more about the opportunities that you have available. I can be reached at 000-000-0000 and look forward to meeting you in the near future.

Sincerely,

NYC20

Check the internet or your local library for resume & cover letter ideas. There is a lot of good information out there. Good luck!

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Specializes in OB, M/S, HH, Medical Imaging RN.
Good morning,

There is too much unnecessary information in your cover letter. Although it is very enthusiastic, recruiters want you to be short & to the point. All of the info about your mom & aunt should be removed.

It helps me to go through several revisions, which I'm not doing right now but you get the point. Here's an example of what you can write:

Dear (name of recruiter),

I am writing in response to your advertisement for a full time (exact name of position). I have (insert your amount here) years experience in a variety of healthcare settings including (insert your experience here).

I have a strong attention to detail along with the ability to organize and prioritize. I would like the opportunity to discuss my experience with you and learn more about the opportunities that you have available. I can be reached at 000-000-0000 and look forward to meeting you in the near future.

Sincerely,

NYC20

Check the internet or your local library for resume & cover letter ideas. There is a lot of good information out there. Good luck!

That's exactly what I was thinking. Short and to the point. Nurse recruiters may not take the time to read a lengthy cover letter. Too much information. ;)

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