I previously had made a post in first year of nursing about my orientation experience. Basically, new lpn grad, no preceptor, just ask questions if I haven any. Working on a med-surg/cardiac unit. My nurse manager says I am getting a normal orientation, and then she even scheduled me to come to work the evening shift after taking my boards in the morning! I'm lucky I passed since I was worrying about the 2 hour drive home and getting home to change into scrubs before work. I asked her if it was a good idea that she schedule me that day and she said "oh it will be good for you to take your mind off things" umm ok.
Next week I get off "orientation" if you want to call it that, and I have a sick feeling in my stomach. I hate going to work everyday. I hate being at work. I am not enjoying anything. I seriously cant imagine working in a hospital for the rest of my life, being stressed out and overworked. I hate feeling stressed out with patients, phones ringing, medications, etc. I am not enjoying learning anything to tell you the truth. My friends I graduated with are excited about their jobs and say how much they love nursing...wish I could say that. I like taking care of people, but that does not make up for all the stress. I told my husband I'm not sure if nursing is for me, and he looked at me like I'm crazy and asked why I just spent the last year in school. Good question! In school I really felt like nursing was for me. I graduated 3rd in my class. My friends say maybe I should try working in a clinic, maybe the hospital is just not for me. Well anyway, I just really want to quit and I have only been working there barely a month.
So I am wondering should this be a huge red flag to me saying nursing is not for me, or maybe its where I'm working, or maybe just that I'm a new grad? All I know is I am realllllyyyy confused right now, and now I have to go into work and I'm getting that sick feeling again. I know that tonight all I will be thinking while I'm working my shift is how much I dislike this and want to quit!
