Help ...I'm not a team player

[firegenie]

I have worked shift work for 6 years in a small rural hospital.

I recently had a terrible appraisal that focused primarily on the negative me in my interpersonal professional staff relationship category. There were only a few passable mediocre one liners about my general performance.

I am a nervous, sensitive, caring person and I love nursing. Most of the team are lovely people and I do enjoy working with them.Yet there is a lot of bitchiness and unprofessional behaviour on our ward. The staff have a tendency to sit around backstabbing and gossiping when we're not busy. Sometimes the air is thick with unfriendliness and some mornings staff have turned their backs and refuse to reply to a cherry good morning.

I am still evolving at work from being bullied in the past by a couple of my colleagues. I get mixed messages from these people. I feel sometimes so threatened by these women. I become nervous around them.

My appraisal also accuses me of isolating myself from my colleagues and that the success of my duty depended on whom I was working with, wether I was having a good day or bad day and how much I participate. Participation is an interesting word when there are only three nurses per shift and two perfer to work together thereby declining your help. So I find myself excluded and am often in the sluice room or restocking and doing compulsory equipment checks during patient care. I also volunteer for the heaviest patient load or willingly do jobs some won't touch to try to get along with my colleagues. I don't mind been busy and am not resentful doing these duties but find it makes no difference.

It said I wasn’t a team player and that my nervousness has an unsettling effect on the team and affected patient care. In my defence because I regularly recieve feed back from appreciative patients, I was surprised by this comment.

I am feeling mixed up and downhearted. I don't think I could change the way my boss feels about me even if I were the perfect nurse. I realise I am powerless to change the way people feel about me though I know I can change the way I feel about myself....but it's not easy. I am trying to improve by being more positive, not complain and focus more on my work than worrying what they will cook up next to railroad me out.

I am not rich. Well paid jobs in rural towns are rare as hens teeth. I would like to stay and overcome these problems.

Are rural hospitals toxic enviroment for some new comers to the area? Why are some nurses who care for people be so nasty to their colleagues? Why are some team members unable to help themselves to scrutinise, convey and misconstrue every word and action you say and do and run with it to the boss?. Is this just small town rural hospital phenomenon or simply just 'WELCOME TO NURSING' ?

I would appreciate any tips or advice from anyone who has worked in a small town hospital and have overcome similar problems.

[barbnyc]

This type of stuff goes on in all work environments. It often mirrors the model of the "dysfunctional family". I have had this experience in the corporate work environment and even while on campus.

Focus on your assets, your experience and be open to working through your issues which keep you stuck there. There are many jobs and you will find once you start exploring your options, you will gain more confidence.

When someone in authority gives criticism, say "how can I improve this? What are your suggestions? Thank you for taking the time to bring this to my attention. O.K." Never get into feelings at the workplace. Save them for when you get home. Write down facts. Do they have union representatives in your community?

I live in NYC and I can tell you cliques like this exist everywhere.

[buildingmyfaith57]

by reading all the post here in this forum i know how you feel. ive gotten alot of backstabbing myself. and they say favoristm is not in the work place b.s. and than when you're trying to apply for another job and you want to put down good work references. how can you?

[lberghood]

I am also angry on your behalf and very sad that you are treated this way. Unfortunately these things do happen. I agree that it is a toxic environment and hope that you will find a place where you can be appreciated. I work for a hospital that recently went corporate and while there are a lot of cons to this it has cut back on this behavior dramatically. We do have strict policies regarding these types of behaviors and I am fortunate to work with an awesome DON ADON and HR Director who adress these issues. I was treated this way as a child in elementary school and it was the hardest time of my life and have always been sensitive to these issues. I wish that you could come work for me you sound like an excellent nurse and i wish you the best in whatever you choose. You have my support!!!

[gr8rnpjt, RN]

I have a theory about nurse managers keeping their "buddies" close and throwing the newcomers under the bus at every turn. I know that in most situations that when evaluation time comes around and cost of living raises are being handed out, the nurse manager usually is told that he/she can give x amount of nurses a 2% raise, x amount can get 3% and maybe one or two can have a 4% or higher. They budget for this and they are told, not who to give what raise but how many can have this or that percentage. Now, I never worked in an environment where salaries are discussed openly, but the nurse manager obviously gives her buddies the good raises. So, to justify herself, she will say stupid things on the evaluation that don't make sense, as was done to you. That way she can justify not giving you a higher raise. If she said that you were a team player always jumping to take the heaviest assignment, then how could she justify giving you the lower raise. Anyway, that is how I look at this type of thing when I see it. They (NM's) can get away with being flagrantly biased against you in day to day situations, but when it comes to putting things in writing, she is covering her own behind.

[firegenie]

Thank you so much for all your replies and kind advice. So many of your replies have reflected the problems I have experienced on the ward and it was good to feel so supported by you all. I have discovered that the answer to these problems really lies with me and my reaction to being bullied at work. Unfortunately there are no other departments I can transfer within the hospital as their is only two wards managed by the same persons. I think things have improved a little as I no longer wish to dedicate my life to nursing and I have completely accepted that I'm not ever going to be treated fairly on this ward. I take comfort that one day I may be able reduce my shifts to minium hours and build my life away from nursing.

[GardenDove]

You can have a cliquish, negative culture anywhere. I work in a small community hospital and yes, I think it's important to try to fit in in a small hospital. You need to keep up on the latest, and be interested in all the petty goings on around you. I started out here on Med-Surg nights, where I ended up making friends. I added some evening shifts to my schedule, and encountered a negative, immature enviornment dominated by a unit secretary with a bad attitude and work ethic. I ended up switching units to the CCU, and nights here is populated by men, which is a wonderful thing. I've heard some people say that the hospital I work in is cliquish, but once you are accepted it becomes like family. That whole peer review thing can be abused in this situation, and it sounds like this has happened here.

[PANurseRN1]

I have to agree, it is rural nursing, small town mentality, clannish people that do things their way because "it's always been that way." Alot of "big fish in a small pond." In my case, circumstances were such, due to my husband's career transfer, that we moved 1/2 way across the country to a larger area. I got a job at a (relatively) large hospital, and it's been the best thing ever. I was so nervous due to my past bad experience, but I am one of many nurses who has relocated, from all over the US. The people I work with are consistently polite, helpful, and caring. I had the some of the same problems, at my old job, according to my boss- not a team player, "so & so said such & such"- yada yada- with no evidence ever-- funny they love me here. I feel so appreciated, and it's a very friendly work environment. Rural hospitals tend to tolerate more lazy people, performance problems, allow people to harbor bad attitudes, etc. I hope someday you can find a job in a bigger hospital where you'll be appreciated for who you are.:penguin:

That is an unfair generalization; there are plenty of friendly smaller hospitals and inhospitable larger facilities. Just because you had a bad experience at one small hospital does not mean all are bad.