Help, I need advice for my gal who is in school to be an RN...

Nurses General Nursing

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Well, I need a little help. I have no idea what to tell my gal. She is in a tough RN program where you have to maintain a certain average or, as she tells me, you're out of the program. Now, she failed one of her tests and its crazy becasue she is so smart and from what I have heard from people that work with her...she is so good clinically. She is in her 2nd year in a 2 year program. She is scared now that she is going to fail out of this program because it will be hard to ace the other tests to bring up her average. She really is very intelligent and she knows everything about the topics covered on the test. Really, she knows it cold. That said, she has serious test anxiety (like a lot of people) and simply did bad on the test. In retrospect, she likely would have done better if she didn't over-think the questions. She reads more than what is assigned and tries too hard it seems. Not only that, but she works while in school and the hours can be hard on her. I hate to see her so nervous about all this and I want to help.

Do you really think her school will be so strict? I mean, if someone really shines in a clinical setting and its obvious she would make a great nurse, would a school really fail her out of the program in the 2nd year for not making the grade on a combined average of 4 tests? Would they really take a good clinician and fail her out that easily? It seems ridiculous!!! I feel terrible because there is nothing I can do to make her feel better and she is convinced she is gonna fail out.

I can see if you're trying to be a Navy Seal or something but an RN? You're paying for this education and it doesn't seem logical to take all your money and then get rid of you that easily...especially if you have shown that you are great in clinical and have wonderful nursing skills as well as an incredible bedside manner.

I don't know what to tell her. Any advice? Thanks!!!

Damn you people read into things. "My gal" = possesive? Women say I love my guy or my guy is great. Well, my gal is great and I love her. Quite sensitive here, eh? There are 3 pages thus far in this thread and only a few posts with good advice, the rest is about me being some possesive and controlling person that needs self-examination!!!

Oh well, to those that posted advice I thank you. To those that attacked me...you're out of line, wrong, and might be a touch too sensitive.

redshiloh, I wasn't referring to anything that you had posted.

I can't see the difference between saying my gal, or my girl or my girlfriend; or saying my guy, or my husband, or my boyfriend. In fact, when I first saw my gal I thought it might be a parent.

Originally posted by cannoli

I can't see the difference between saying my gal, or my girl or my girlfriend; or saying my guy, or my husband, or my boyfriend. In fact, when I first saw my gal I thought it might be a parent.

Thank you for making that point. The larger issue is why the heck people even friggin care!!! Its so stupid. Its like a warped Seinfeld episode.

Originally posted by cannoli

I can't see the difference between saying my gal, or my girl or my girlfriend; or saying my guy, or my husband, or my boyfriend. In fact, when I first saw my gal I thought it might be a parent.

I was just thinking the same thing and was getting ready to post, but ya beat me to it :)

bender- I agree with being a shoulder for her when she needs one. There really isn't much else you can do. I also believe that overstudying causes excessive stress which can lead to test anxiety and poor performance. The mind needs rest just as the body does.

Specializes in Obstetrics, M/S, Psych.

Hey, you all...bender explained why he said what he said already! Do you want to be offended?? Nurses are well known to be very dysfunctional themselves, (me included!),and that is really coming out in this thread. I admit I took offense right away with the Seals comparison, but then realized I could be just a wee bit sensitive in this paticular area, because I sometimes am quite aware I get too little respect as a nurse. Do you think this is part of the reaction?

I don't really care what blender calls his gal, girl or s.o. I was bothered by the thought that he thought nursing is not serious business, but I think he gave a credible explanation for his original post and he really just wants to help out his lady! (Is that term OK?)

Anyway, blender...yes, supporting her, helping her out, especially with the little things is probably the most appreciation you can show to her right now. That will give her strength to carry on through what is a very tough program.

bender73,

When I read your post, the only thing I saw was that you truly care for this girl. Anyone who is so sensitive and defensive over what you said may have other issues.

I agree with purplemania that she should counsel with her advisor and see about the test taking skills. The test she will take to pass the boards (NCLEX) will be a biggy, and she will have to do well. I feel for her (and you), and wish you both the best.:kiss

So, do you help her study? Could you write out practice questions for her (or use an NCLEX book) and then help her see where she's over-analyzing? What strategies worked best for you in nursing school? I do think she may be taking on too much right now. Is there any way she can cut back on her work hours if only until the next test? Is she doing anything that is fun and relaxing?

luci

bender,

like you and your gal, my husband and i are going through the same thing. all i can say is just be there for her. Just listen to her vent & offer support. Nursing school is rough. You seem like the type of guy that wants to help! My husband means well but he doesn't seem to understand that i can't play with him all the time anymore. Give her her space to study. That is the most important thing that I have learned so far. And if anyone wants to get offended about saying "my gal", at least you didn't call her

"the old lady"

"the old ball & chain"

"my woman"

I think "My gal" is sweet!

Ok Bender, I'm a new grad and did all that test anxiety stuff too. I'll comment only on your initial request in this post.

My partner took over most of the housework and supported me financially during my last semester. I did work, but not as much. I need to get out and feel useful. My nature. Also, when I had a big test coming, about two days before, I would check myself into a nice, secluded motel. Pool, jacuzzi, kitchen, and nothing but me and my books. After the third exam, these people knew why I was there and would give me a room with a great view and no neighbors. Sure, an extravagance, but it really made a difference for me. If nothing else, she can have some time to herself. Sometimes, it's all we need. Best of luck

Bender, I am truly warmed at your dedication to your girlfriend by posting here and making an effort to make her life easier. The one thing that my hubby is doing that is helping the most (and I am being truthful here) is he tells me on a daily basis how proud he is of me, how amazed he is that I made a decision and am following through with it no matter how hard it is. He tells everyone he knows that his wife is in nursing school. That means the world to me.

also, when I am studying he cooks dinner. No easy task seeing as he works 65 hours a week. My schooling comes first in our household, and that makes things easier. I know I sound sappy, but its the truth. The housework suffers, although he does more than his fair share, with out mention (where before I would hear about his beautiful vacuuming job for hours) love-smiley-060.gif

Good luck

bonjovigirl,

Sounds like you are married to MY husband! Hang on to him; he's a keeper!

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