Help! How to I become more assertive?

[picurn10]

My personality is very laid back and pretty reserved, but its causing me some problems in my job because pt families (work in peds) don't take me seriously or question me. The thing is, I graduated at the top of my class, I did great on NCLEX, I know my stuff as much as a new grad can. OTOH, we have a lot of nurses at my hospital who are scary dumb, but have stronger personalities and so pt families think they are the greatest and listen to anything they have to say, even when its totally wrong.

In addition to the families, some of the nurses who've been there awhile are starting to question me because I will ask lots of questions. Even if I'm 99.9% sure on something I'll ask a more seasoned nurse if its my first time doing something, just to be sure, and I think its giving some the impression that I don't know what I'm doing. I've caught numerous mistakes being made by other nurses which is another reason I know its not incompetence on my part. If I were clueless, I wouldn't even notice that stuff.

How do I become more assertive? Are there things you do initially when interacting with pt/families that foster a sense of trust. What really stinks is that I look very, very young. I'm in my early 30's but people always are shocked and think I'm early 20's I've thought about just including my age as part of my introduction in sort of a playful "I know I look 12..." kind of way, but I'm not sure. I really need help because this is frustrating me and I don't know how to fix it.

[NotReady4PrimeTime, RN]

I think more than assertiveness, you need to work on your confidence. If you project a confident, calm attitude when you approach people they tend to think you are confident and calm, whether inside you're shaking like a leaf or not. If it's not in your nature to be forthright and upright, you have to fake it. Eventually you'll find that you're not faking it as much and then one day you're not faking it at all. With your coworkers, do you approach them timidly and and pose your questions in such a way as to suggest you don't know what you really DO know? Or do you say something like, "Okay, so I have to do this procedure/give this med and I haven't had a lot of practice. This is what I'm planning to do. Is that how you'd do it?" There's a world of difference when it comes to presentation. Try watching the coworkers you respect most and see how they carry themselves, how they phrase things, how they interact with others and then try and emulate them. If it works for them it'll work for you. I work in a unit where there's a LOT of turnover so there is always somebody new-ish Our unit is also high-acuity and rapidly changing so there will always be new things to learn. New staff know that they can ask me just about anything and I won't think they're stupid. I don't mind watching them do something for the first time if it makes them feel more comfortable. I helped a brand-new nurse take down an arterial line dressing the other day. She quite appropriately asked for help with it and was a little surprised when she came over to the bedside with all her fresh dressing supplies and I was already holding the child's arm and hand. "I'm holding... YOU'RE doing." She did great once she got over her shock that I'd trust her with it. See if you can find someone on your unit who will mentor you and you might find that you feel a lot better about yourself.

[coast2coast]

This is a tough one. I find that how I present myself (speech and mannerism), has a big impact on how assertive I feel and on how other people react to me.

How's your posture? Stand up straight, put your shoulders back, and tuck your bum in. This is my number 1 trick - I feel "bigger and braver" when I do this.

How you say something is as important as what you're saying. If you know you are right about something, say it confidently. Don't start every sentence with "um" or "i think". Make sure that your statements don't end with rising intonation - which can make them sound like questions and make you seem less confident in what you're saying. Project your voice and look the other person in the eye.

[happy2learn]

I agree that assertiveness will show if you have more confidence. If you feel confident in yourself, you will have no problem being assertive.