Help! Dig error, accused of lying?

[queenjane]

Hi there,

God, I don't even know where to start. I am a senior level nursing student in an ADN program at a community college. I will be graduating in May of '09. Yesterday part of my paperwork was incomplete at the beginning of clinical, and my instructor sent me to another floor of the hospital to speak to the other more senior instructor and show her my care plan. (my fault that certain parts were incomplete). This senior instructor sat me down, humiliated me, told me that certain parts of my labs were missing. The long and short of it is that my clinical instructor was requiring different things in her care plans than this senior level nursing instructor was, so I tried to explain, when I could get a word in, that yes I took responsibility for the parts that were incomplete, but the labs were not due till a later date and this was even stated on the website/clinical requirements. She got in my face, wouldn't let me talk, and said "well, then are you calling Mrs. ... a liar? Is that what your'e saying, that she's lying?" in a very aggressive tone. It all got sorted out and she went to the college website, saw that I was right and gave me a very short apology and sent me back down to my clinical floor to my regular instructor.

This was in the morning, first thing, and I was devastated. I really look up to both these instructors, and am one of the best students in the class. I work so hard, I have given up my house, my care, my whole style of living to make it through this program and they are aware that I am willing to do whatever it takes to succeed. I never argue with them, never complain, and to be accused of calling my instructor a liar just hurt me very deeply. I was so anxious that the end result was I forgot to check a pt. apical pulse before giving dig. I forgot to even check his name band. I had it in my mind all morning, since I had never given dig before, check the apical pulse, and told my instructor as she was drawing meds out of the pyxis, wait, I still need to get that apical pulse before I can give the dig. She followed me into the room and started hammering with questions about the meds, which I had already answered correctly for her in the med room when we pulled the drugs! I got so distracted trying to answer her questions and give the drugs at the same time, it just all spiraled downward from there. I had to put a nitro patch on, give a heparin injection, hang an antibiotic, and give pills. I trying to organize my meds in the room and give everything correctly but she was asking me questions like "now are you sure you want to do this?" and "are you sure you want to do that", when I was doing the right things, but she wanted to "test" me.

Anyway, I am now in danger of being asked to leave the program. I have a meeting with them on Monday. Of course, they view it as a med error because had she not reminded me, I would have given the dig. without checking the apical pulse first. I just feel they need to take some responsibility for the way they talk to students and basically treat them in a way that verges on harassment, sometimes. Any advice would be greately appreciated. I am just devasted, I've been crying for 2 days, I'm in shock that this happened. I have never done anything like this before.

Thanks

queenjane

[Virgo_RN, BSN, RN]

That is no way to run a nursing program, IMO. Nursing students are terrified of making a mistake as it is, and distracting them in that manner during medication administration is a recipe for disaster. The CI's role should be one of support and guidance. I'm really sorry that happened to you.

Do you have access to any sort of student advocate that could attend the meeting with you?

[queenjane]

No, I don't believe there are any student advocates at this college. It's a small community college only and the program is very rigid. I want so badly to be a nurse. I'm also a single mom and I fell humiliated to think that my son might see me "kicked out" of an educational program. He is 14 and wants to be a doctor! I've worked for three years as an ER tech and am soooooo close!

[Virgo_RN, BSN, RN]

What about an ombudsman? Does your CC have one?

[queenjane]

No, not that I'm aware of. It's a very small community college, only in its third year with the RN program. But thanks for the advice.

[Annisme]

Do you have a class representative? A guidance counselor? Someone who could sit in and listen objectively and, by their presence, assure that you get to present your side of things? Is the chair of the nursing department or dean going to be there?

What happened to you is not fair! Your CI should know better than to harass a student trying to give any medication, but especially something as critical as dig. Asking questions is one thing, purposely distracting someone is something else altogether!

Don't give up and don't stress yourself out all weekend. Give yourself the opportunity to feel some peace. You can't do anything right now, so don't give them the chance to make you a wreck all weekend.

Give yourself and your son a big hug!

Ann

[queenjane]

Thanks so much for your kind words, I suppose I could ask for the department chair to be present. This meeting will be up against the 3 instructors, they will have everything on paper, of course, every tiny mistake I've ever made in 4 semesters, and I am expected to also bring my own "plan" as to how I am going to improve. I feel like they have already marked me, though. I don't know why, though....that's the confusing part! I do well on tests, have great rapport with my classmates, with all the instructors, but I am somewhat sensitive, I'm not a "toughie", and I get nervous more easily than some of my other classmates during clinicals. Perhaps they have seen this as a weakness and are weeding me out because they feel I am too "weak". I don't know what other reason there could be. There are those in my clinical group who are consistently failing tests and they have not been targeted in clinical the way I have been. I just wish I knew why they are doing this.

[Valerie Salva, BSN, RN]

((((queenjane))))

It sounds a lot like my program was.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

[FASTBOB60]

I went through one of the most vicious nursing programs on earth. Occurances such as yours were routine. We did this. Definitely have a third party in the room to witness the meeting. It can be anyone you don't need an ombudsman etc. Take notes. Ask to record the meeting. If they refuse a third party decline the meeting and go to the Dean. Use the chain of command and document everything. In our program we wound up before the Board of Trustees. If they are interested in fair treatment these requests should be no problem.

My take on the situation is that the clinical instructor inflated the situation, you embarassed them because you knew the rules. You are also probably better looking, stronger and smarter than they were at your age and they resent that you will make 30% more money as a new grad than they do as instructors. You will face this same situation in the workplace over your nursing career.

[Debra ACRN]

It's been a long time since I was in your shoes but I thought I might offer a word or two of advice. It sounds like you have the makings of a kind, thoughtful, skilled nurse. Do not believe that those instructors are going to forget everything good you have done. Nurse just don't act like that. However, have a list of accomplishments to share.

I am in a lot of reviews and audits where I am asked all kinds of off the wall questions. I used to think they were trying to throw me off, but I soon learned it was better to think that they really wanted myself and my program to succeed. Think of your instructors in that way.......they really don't want conflict any more then you do.

Admit your mistakes. I think you weakness is the ability to work under pressure. There is no way to improve this other then trial by fire. I would imagine that since you are nearing the end of your student program they are going to step up the pressure a bit. Admit it threw you and find ways that you can find your center and focus. You will be in situations where there are going to be many people all pulling you in a dozen directions. Try to find a stratagy to cope with this. I am sure it will serve you well.

By the way, my way is to pretend I have a dozen drawers in my brain. I put all the tasks in the drawers in order of importance and open one drawer at a time. I can also table my upset feelings for as long as it takes to get to the bathroom and have a good cry. I'm sure, as a mother, you can analyze how you handle things at home and modify it.

Chin up dear one........you are going to be a fantastic nurse (and if you don't believe it first, no one else will.)

[queenjane]

Thanks so much! I know it's trial by fire, and I am willing to put in as much hard work as it takes to make it to the end. I am just afraid that even with my "plan", and taking responsibility for errors, etc. that they will ask me to leave the program. I've been doing so well up until now and had a great relationship with all 3 instructors! Do you think it's already in their mind to ask me to leave?