Help with Admission Essay!

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I am applying for the fall to Ohio University: Southern for the ADN program and I have to submit an essay in 2 weeks!

I've been working on this essay for months! i've changed it so many times and I'm just frustrated! This is a direct quote from the schools program page of what is required in the essay:

Submit to the nursing office a statement of educational and career goals essay (typed; no more than 1 page). This is your opportunity to tell the selection committee why you should be chosen for the nursing program.

I want to post my essay but I don't know if i should, because i don't want it to be stolen (even though it isn't very good and uniquely edited, i just don't want to take that risk but i'll quote it as necessary.) ( i also don't want anyone to take offense to that, i know 99.9% of everyone on here wouldn't do that, but theres still a chance...)

anyways, basically my career/educational goals are to become an NP, possibly stopping at an MSN but also maybe going for a doctorate depending on what i'm happy with when I get to my MSN.

I want to be a nurse because of an accident I suffered when I was a child, i ended up on life support with multiple injuries, and out of the entire time i was there (weeks!) i only seen a doctor maybe 3-4 times, but all the nurses were there constantly! when I left, they bought me this big stuffed dog, I had this really nice card signed by every nurse that had helped me for the 3 weeks i was there, and every one of them stopped by to wish me off, and they called about a week later to make sure i was doing ok. (being from a poor family, with no reason for them to treat me that way, made it that much more special)

Other then that I want to be a pediatric Critical care NP...

but im just stuck on how to word everything and make it stick out above the hundreds of other essays!

Any help would be appreciated at all!

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I know how agonizing these essays can be. I had to write three, but luckily I was accepted into most of the schools I applied to. If you want to send me a draft I'll be more then happy to look it over. I can send you my essay as well so you can see the essay that got me accepted into ns. Good luck!

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I know how agonizing these essays can be. I had to write three, but luckily I was accepted into most of the schools I applied to. If you want to send me a draft I'll be more then happy to look it over. I can send you my essay as well so you can see the essay that got me accepted into ns. Good luck!

That would be amazing! :D I can just private message you what i have so far? its not much but like i said ive changed it like 1000 times already, lol.

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well apparently this site has no private messaging? I couldn't find it anywhere, so i guess email would work?

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Hopefully, you got the message I sent you .

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Yep! Just sent you an email!

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I think i almost have all the details worked out, just more of going over sentence structure and grammar...but if you could take another look at it i would appreciate it!

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Sure! No problem

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